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babycrazed
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/12 475 total posts
Name:
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
How often does she call since you're pregnant to see how you're feeling? Not that I need someone to check on me, but my MIL and I have always gotten along well. She has never really been one to call alot bc she doesn't want to "intrude," but she's only called once or twice since i've been pregnant and i'm 10 weeks! I'm pregnant with her grandchild, so I just find it so strange that she never calls.
How often does your MIL call to see how you're doing? Is it more than she called before or the same?
It just annoys me bc DH is always so concerned with how long it's been since we last saw his mom and making sure we make an effort to see her, but it seems to me his mother couldn't care less.
Maybe it's the hormones, but this just really irritates me lately!!
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Posted 7/23/12 8:54 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Before I got pregnant, my MIL would call me occasionally. Not often at all, but around holidays. (usually to ask what her son wanted for christmas but she'd at least make some small talk).
I've been pregnant 36 weeks and she has never called me. I found this to be weird but I let it go. No point stressing over it. I just hate when she complains to DH that she didn't know something (like I had a cold or an appointment scheduled)... I want to always say, well... if she cares about what is happening why doesn't she call to ask me about it or talk to me?
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| Posted 7/23/12 8:58 AM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
I get emails from her maybe 4 times a week. But my MIL stays home now ever since she battled brain cancer (she's now cancer free but FIL doesn't want her going back to work -- which I totally agree with and am glad about) so she has a LOT of free time. She also face times me several times a week but I think it's because she's bored or wants to see DD.
10 weeks is still very early. Maybe give her a call, gossip a bit, and tell her you hope to hear from her soon? Then she'll know how much you enjoy chatting with her and that you'd like to talk to her more. If you start asking her for advice or stories, that might also encourage her to chime in a bit more. (But, beware: you may also open a can of worms lol.)
Sons and their mothers are something very special. I don't even pretend to understand it. Maybe after this little boy is born I'll start to "get it" more lol. I wouldn't be upset, but since you are, there are definitely some proactive steps you can take to open the lines of communication more.
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| Posted 7/23/12 8:59 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
MIL never called me before unless she had a question. We email back and forth every once in awhile. Since we announced, she would call me once a week until I started calling her after our appointments every other week. So now I just give her an update on the babies and thats it. If I don't call her and my mom after the apt for some reason, they both call me.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:03 AM |
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sj-girl
Happy Family of 4
Member since 5/08 5654 total posts
Name:
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
My MIL watches DS while Dh and I are at work. So she will usually ask how I'm doing weekly or will ask after Ive had a Dr appt.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:15 AM |
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sj-girl
Happy Family of 4
Member since 5/08 5654 total posts
Name:
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Double post
Message edited 7/23/2012 9:18:29 AM.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:15 AM |
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babycrazed
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/12 475 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Posted by springsandra
10 weeks is still very early. Maybe give her a call, gossip a bit, and tell her you hope to hear from her soon? Then she'll know how much you enjoy chatting with her and that you'd like to talk to her more. If you start asking her for advice or stories, that might also encourage her to chime in a bit more. (But, beware: you may also open a can of worms lol.)
Thanks, it's really not so much that I need or want to talk to her, truthfully. It's more the fact that she just seems so disinterested that bothers me... i mean i'm pregnant with her first grandchild, i'd just expect her to be more into it, for DH's sake at least!
Message edited 7/23/2012 9:30:56 AM.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:28 AM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Posted by babycrazed
Thanks, it's really not so much that I need or want to talk to her, truthfully. It's more the fact that she just seems so disinterested that bothers me... i mean i'm pregnant with her first grandchild, i'd just expect her to be more into it, for DH's sake at least!
Well, FWIW, my mom hardly EVER calls -- I'd say pretty much never -- even when I was pregnant with my first. The only conversation I can remember having with her when I was pregnant with my first child was her telling me about her m/c at 12 weeks and recounting all the gory details of it. Not exactly the story you want to hear when you're pregnant with your first child. My mom doesn't think. But she'd email me maybe once a month and she'd post on my fb wall but that was it. My MIL was much more into my pregnancy the first time (and this time I guess too) than my own mom. Not a day goes by that I don't hope my relationship with my own children is more loving, caring, and kind than what I have with my mother.
Once the baby is here, your MIL will be in touch more. Some people are kinda private about things and want to respect your privacy. I try to tell myself that's why my mom hardly shows she cares. It's a "privacy" thing. But really I just think she's selfish. Sorry to make this about me lol. Just trying to draw a parallel and give your MIL the benefit of the doubt. 
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:39 AM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Love my MIL. She comes to visit at least 2x a week and calls to see how I'm feeling. Love this women, she's like my 2nd mother.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:40 AM |
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
It could be your hormones who knows, but I understand what your saying. That would annoy me too. To answer the op, I speak to my MIL all the time, just as much as I did prior to being preggers. So I guess not much has changed. Why don't you call her and start the convo? Maybe she is just giving you time and doesn't want to be pushy.
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:54 AM |
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dexsmom
LIF Infant
Member since 1/10 321 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
My MIL has never called...nor do I think she really cares :)....she is just that kind of Mom to my DH. My mom and I talk but she barely asked how I am feeling...but my mom never "coddled". It is what it is....I expect it though.
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| Posted 7/23/12 10:22 AM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
At this point in time IDK if I have a good relationship w/my MIL. As silly as it seems, she acts like she likes me but then complains & talks smack about me behind my back. So, to answer your ques, she calls maybe 1 -2 xs every 2 wks or so to check on me. I dont think she is concerned about how I am doing, I think she is checking in on the baby more than anything.
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| Posted 7/23/12 10:34 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
My MIL doesn't really call but she does email or text every few days or at least once a week or so. She lives about a three hr drive away, and I was surprised that she only finally just made it out to see me and DH for the first time since we told her I was pregnant when I was more than 6 months along. I know it's a far drive, but it's really not that far and she's been in the area for other things bit never got around to seeing us. I had really thought that since I'm pregnant with her first grandchild she would want to see me more.
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| Posted 7/23/12 11:16 AM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
maybe once a week but thats because i do a pretty good job keeping her updated on things
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| Posted 7/23/12 11:39 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Message edited 7/23/2012 12:24:19 PM.
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| Posted 7/23/12 12:12 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Whenever I talk to her she asks how I feel. She doesn't call just to see how I am. I talk to her about 1-2x a week about other stuff.
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| Posted 7/23/12 1:06 PM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
my MIL and FIL will call at least once a week if we do not see them during the weekend to check on LO and me. They also call DH daily to check up on us.
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| Posted 7/23/12 1:50 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
My MIL didn't call anymore than normal. SHe was over the moon excited but I never expected her to call all the time to check in with me.....if she did it would have goen soemthing like this.
MIL: how are you feeling?
me: Puked my brains out again today!!!
That would have been the convo for months so unless we had a big appt there was no need to check in more than what we normally talked.
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| Posted 7/23/12 3:14 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
I have a very good relationship with my MIL we talk once a week or so and with this pregnancy she hasnt even called to say congrats on anything yet
I mean im only 6 weeks and she was at my house yesterday and just asked when i was going to the doctor nothing else which i find out
I guess she is mad cause i told DH to tell not to tell anyone because my parents are away and i think they should know before the world does
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| Posted 7/23/12 5:47 PM |
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MarchMommy1
LIF Zygote
Member since 6/12 25 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
I get a long with my MIL, but we don't have the kind of relationship where either of us call the other. She is actually one of those people that expects DH to call her. I like her for the most part and get along with her though. She is in rehab at the moment because she had surgery, but even when she gets out, I don't expect her to call me to see how I am feeling. It would be nice, but I don't expect it.
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| Posted 7/23/12 6:46 PM |
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butterflygal
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 774 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
Posted by mommyof3girls
Love my MIL. She comes to visit at least 2x a week and calls to see how I'm feeling. Love this women, she's like my 2nd mother.
ditto on this. I feel so lucky
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| Posted 7/23/12 6:51 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
i see my mil all the time so she asks but my own mom does not ask all the time
maybe she is waiting till u r out of the first tri? or maybe she feels like if she always asks u will think it is annoying?
i think this is of those dammed if u do dammed if u don't situations
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| Posted 7/23/12 7:13 PM |
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MrsW326
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1132 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
My mil would cal me or dh pretty much daily to check on me. My mom- maybe twice a week
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| Posted 7/23/12 8:27 PM |
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Journey33
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1402 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you have a good relationship with your MIL...
We never really speak on the phone... but
I see her pretty frequently... im 27 weeks and not once has she asked me how Im feeling. NOT ONCE. Bothers the $hit out of me but whatever. my mom asks me 10 times a day so I guess she makes up for it. 
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| Posted 7/23/12 9:45 PM |
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