Parents of Only Children

Just looking for those of us who have only children, whether it be by choice or not, whether it be permanently or indefinitely.

DD is 3 and is an only child indefinitely. I am having a lot of guilt lately because she is constantly expressing an interest in wanting a baby, thinking we could buy a real one at the store. I've tried baby dolls and it's just not working- she wants a real one. I'm just not sure if for us it can really be. It makes me sad, angry, guilty, etc.

I guess I'm just looking for somewhat of a support group of people in the same boat.

Re: Parents of Only Children

DS is almost 15 months and may or may not remain an only child. DH and I go back and forth on whether we want a second. However, if we do decide to go for another baby, it will be because DH and I want another child, not to give DS a sibling. Even though I am close to my siblings, I don't think children need a sibling. One of my best friends is an only child, and she has never felt like she missed out on anything. She has always said, you can't miss what you never had. No matter what you decide, your DD will be just fine. Good luck!

Re: Parents of Only Children

I have a ds that is 3. Would love another but this infertility thing gets in the way. I tell my dh that it's too late for a child we might as well adopt a child closer to his age. Would love to do just that, however not likely.

Re: Parents of Only Children

DD is too young right now to ask for a baby sister/brother. In fact, she doesn't like when ANYONE steals her thunder so I think that at this point she is quite happy to be an only!
I know that down the road, that may change, but I can't see having a 2nd baby just to give her a sibling. It's a huge thing for several reasons, financially, space wise, emotionally etc.
I think in the end she will be just fine...she has cousins her age and I am sure she will have friends as well.

Re: Parents of Only Children

not the parent of an only child (well, I guess I am currently but pregnant with #2)

is it possible to have your DD around other babies? Friends siblings? Cousins? Perhaps she just needs exposure and maybe that exposure will be enough

Re: Parents of Only Children

My DS is almost 2 and we are pretty confident that he is going to be an only child. My DH and I are so happy with him, we have no desire to have any more children.

I once read that you need to want a second child just as badly as you wanted the first. The article went on to say that having another child just to give your DC a sibling is not a great reason to have another baby… and I personally agree with that statement.

Not sure if you explored the option… but maybe some play dates will take your daughter’s mind off of a sibling?

As far as support for parents, I found a GREAT forum on parents of only children. It helps me soooo much.

here it is

For the record, I am an only child and I have always loved it

ETA: Please don't let society pressure you to have more than one child, either. I know that onlies are still the minority - but you need to do what's best for you and your family! Society doesn't know what you go through....

Message edited 8/1/2012 11:19:00 AM.

Parents of Only Children

DD is almost 2 and at this point we don't know if she'll remain an only child or not. She's a handful and it's been hard, so we hesitate because, frankly, I do not want to go through the same thing again.

She has, however, been saying she has a brother and I think it's because she has friends at daycare that are twin brothers. I highly doubt she really knows what she's talking about though.

If in a few years we decide to have another one, then great but if she remains an only child, I'm okay with that too. We try to surround her with lots of kids.

Re: Parents of Only Children

I'm not a parent of an only, but DS#2 is asking for a younger brother. He has a younger sister, but he still wants the brother. It's not exclusive to only children. Don't let that affect you.

Re: Parents of Only Children

I am an only child as is DH - we were both happy only children.

Our DS is 33 months and currently an only child, not sure about #2.

Your DD may be asking for a sibling but she does not really understand all that entails so you really shouldn't give much weight to her asking for one.

Your guilt, anger, etc sounds like it's all coming from you and your uncertainty (or inability, or unwillingness whatever your specific is) about having another. A child asking for a sibling is not a good reason to have one. If you cannot have another or choose not to, rest assured that your DD will most likely one day LOVE that she's an only child. You will be able to give her so much, not only in terms of material goods but especially in terms of your time and emotional availability.

I LOVED being an only child and have a fantastic relationship with my parents. I would be 100% fine with my DS being an only but DH is leaning towards trying for another.

Try to separate her asking for a sibling from your own feelings about having an only child and maybe try to work on accepting your situation. I also know that some people make ridiculous comments when people only have one child and/or choose to only have one, just ignore them, i do!