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HPBLN
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 260 total posts
Name:
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When do you feel better?
Found out baby had no heartbeat on5/18. Finally had a D&C on June 4. At first all I did was cry, but as the weeks went on I slowly started to feel better. Then a few weeks ago I found out that 2 of my friends were pregnant and just found out today another one was. I really really want to be happy for my friends, it's just so hard. It takes everything I have not to burst into tears in front of them . Nobody else i know has been through this. I feel like my friends think I should be over it already. It took so much more of an emotional toll on me then I thought it would. I just want to feel better and be able to pull myself together. UGH! It's so annoying. Sorry ladies, just had to vent.
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Posted 8/5/12 7:59 PM  |
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tomcat
LIF Adult Cat
Member since 6/12 1308 total posts
Name:
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Re: When do you feel better?
 i'm so sorry
everyone deals with it differently.
i just had a loss. one minute i'm completely at peace with it, and the next i'm a complete mess.
it's a grieving process that i am only just beginning to understand. i can't imagine how someone who has not gone through it can even begin to understand it in the same way.
even women who have gone through it deal with it very differently. in private. in public. it's just such an awful thing to go through, no one really knows what to say, so i do not expect anyone to say anything. so i just let myself...go through it.
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| Posted 8/5/12 8:12 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: When do you feel better?
i am so sorry for your loss
i was talking with a friend who is starting ivf...we talked about my past and the years of IF we went through and the 3 losses
i am now 22 weeks pregnant with  
i said to her even now when i hear someone is pregnant my first reaction is F U
it does not come from hatred..it is hard..it does not make u a bad person
will i say u ever get over it..for me i will say no...but i did learn to live with it
i hope this made sense
again i am so sorry for your loss
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| Posted 8/5/12 8:58 PM |
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HPBLN
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 260 total posts
Name:
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When do you feel better?
Thanks!! It just helps to know other people are going through it! Just have to go through it and learn to live with it! Take it day by day!
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| Posted 8/5/12 9:14 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: When do you feel better?
So sorry for your loss!
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| Posted 8/6/12 9:43 AM |
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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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Re: When do you feel better?
Posted by tomcat
one minute i'm completely at peace with it, and the next i'm a complete mess.
it's a grieving process that i am only just beginning to understand.
I could not have said this any better myself. If I am distracted or kept busy I am ok but then I have moments where it really hits me.
I just found out on Wed (about 9.5 weeks) that this is not a viable pregnancy and I have been "waiting" for the natural miscarriage that just isn't happening. So it's still very new to me. Then on Sat I went to my friend's son's Christening- there were babies and little kids everywhere and at one point in the middle of the baptism I just started crying and tried so hard to push back the tears. also I can't stop thinking about it at night and it keeps me awake until 2/3am pretty much every night- I have to go into the bathroom and cry so I don't wake my husband up.
I feel like I'm always putting on this facade in front of people while inside all I want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. :(
It's good to have people on here who understand what I'm going through. Even my husband doesn't understand- although he is devestated too, it's just different- like part of me died.
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| Posted 8/6/12 9:46 AM |
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iBCraZ131
Love my girls!
Member since 8/07 1155 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: When do you feel better?
I am very sorry for your loss. I completely understand what you are going through. I had my loss last November and DH and I have been ttc since with no success. It has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster I have ever been on. Since our loss I've found out about 5 of my other friends are pregnant and about 7 others have had their babies. Its taken everything in me to try and show my happiness for them but inside I am a mess. I am unable to hold anyone's babies and I don't really interact with any of my pregnant friends. I've avoided showers and social activities that I know I can't handle and I can already see my friends are starting to get annoyed. It's like they feel that it's been long enough and I need to get over it. I don't share my feelings of what I am going through with them because I just get the typical "it'll happen when it's your time" or "just relax" from them and I just know they will never understand. Honestly, I don't think I will ever feel 100% better. This whole ordeal has changed me. I literally just get myself through each day and some days are worse than others. If you need to, take time out for yourself even if it's a little thing, and don't ever feel guilty about it. feel free to FM if you need to.
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| Posted 8/6/12 10:14 AM |
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frio85
LIF Adult
Member since 8/11 1164 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: When do you feel better?
I am very sorry for your loss. I completely understand what you are going through. I had my loss this past June.. I think about it the baby everyday. I just really SUCKS!!
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| Posted 8/6/12 10:47 AM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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When do you feel better?
Oh boy can I relate. I've had 3 losses in 1 year (if you could a chemical pregnancy - the other two resulted in a D&E and D&C.) There are so many people I know who are pregnant, and while I'm happy for them, its just a reminder of what I don't have - -and what I have been unsuccessful in having. I tell everyone who has had to tred carefully on telling me they are pregnant (which is even MORE awkward!) that my losses have nothing to do with their gain and I'm thrilled for them. I just got a invitation for a baby shower for a good friend. Ugh. that is the LAST place I want to go.
I don't think the sad feeling will ever fully go away - my 1st loss last June still stings ALOT - but I'm hopeful once I am holding my baby, it will mend the whole in my heart a little bit.
Sending thoughts your way....
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| Posted 8/6/12 1:35 PM |
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TaraVinny
my miracle coming October!!!
Member since 10/09 1049 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: When do you feel better?
i never realized how hard this is. i try to stay strong but sometimes i just have to cry it out. i know deep down i will move on and i think it is ok to cry. everyone grieves differently. i'm just now starting to feel comfortable telling my close friends. i was starting to not see them that much. i didn't want them to take it personally. i'm very surpised how understanding they are. for me telling my close friends is helping. also my work doesn't know and that helps too. i feel like when i'm at work i don't have to think about it. this site is also helping me. reading your stories makes me feel like i'm not alone and i will get through this.
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| Posted 8/6/12 6:13 PM |
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