| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
|
sort of spinoff to: war against women
I have some female friends who say some derogative things to their sons like "don't act like a little girl" when their sons whine.
When it's just the couples watching a game or something, they'll throw out the word pu$$y when yelling at the players. I don't say anything but I cringe. I can't stand when I hear things like that said by women. Never heard this in real life but the LIF community loves using "put your big girl panties on" which I also cringe when reading.
Obviously these comments all mean that women are weaker, inferior. Do you feel that these comments said BY woman aide in setting women back?
Message edited 8/24/2012 2:15:12 PM.
|
Posted 8/24/12 2:14 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
gforce
My other love!
Member since 5/08 1744 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
wOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY WEAKER THAN MEN.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:04 PM |
| |
|
Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by summerBaby10
Do you feel that these comments said BY woman aide in setting women back?
Not at all.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:09 PM |
| |
|
Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
|
sort of spinoff to: war against women
I think big girl panties really mean stop acting like a baby & put your adult undies on.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:23 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
I don't think its setting women back.
I am guilty of telling my sons not to whine like a girl...maybe it's not the best thing in the world to say, but i never thought much about it. My sister in law will be the first to tell you that although she loves her daughters, their girly whining makes her want to jump off a bridge, lol. Boys tend to yell a lot more than girls I've noticed, and girls tend to whine a whole lot. Nothing bad about it, just the way it is.
I don't like hearing a man call a woman a c***. Not that i hear that a lot, lol, but in college a friends boyfriend called her that and we were all disgusted.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:24 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by Ayne11
I think big girl panties really mean stop acting like a baby & put your adult undies on.
I agree, and i've heard people say "put on your big boy pants" as well
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:24 PM |
| |
|
tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by maybebaby
I am guilty of telling my sons not to whine like a girl...maybe it's not the best thing in the world to say, but i never thought much about it.
Why wouldn't you just tell them to stop whining?
By adding, "like a girl" you are implying that whining is only bad because it makes them seem feminine. As you yourself pointed out, whining is just plain annoying--coming from a boy or a girl.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:33 PM |
| |
|
chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by gforce
wOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY WEAKER THAN MEN.
Seriously!?!?! This is such an overly generalized statement. Not ALL women are physically weaker than ALL men. And, more importantly, even if some or most women are physically weaker than some or most men, it in no way makes women inferior to men.
I think any statements, especially when made to children, that denegrate women or insinuate that women are not as good as men, are destructive and only serve to perpetuate false stereotypes.
Message edited 8/24/2012 5:45:51 PM.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:37 PM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
I'm with you, I really don't like it. Don't throw like a girl..well, some girls are going to throw better than your son. it just fits into this underlying assumptions that the way women do things is automatically inferior to men.
They have done studies and have shown that even girls who are naturally strong in math before going to school will not do as well becayse of assumptions teachers make and the stereotype that girls are not as good at math as boys are. There's no biological basis for it, it's all social/psychological.
Think about this..I read somewhere that before blue was a boy color and pink was a girl color, it was reversed. hat seems to unimaginable now, doesn't it? but WHY? there's nothing inherent in those colors. It's just part of assumptions we don't even know we're making.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 5:55 PM |
| |
|
lilygreen
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/12 6 total posts
Name:
Lily Green
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by JenniferEver
I'm with you, I really don't like it. Don't throw like a girl..well, some girls are going to throw better than your son. it just fits into this underlying assumptions that the way women do things is automatically inferior to men.
They have done studies and have shown that even girls who are naturally strong in math before going to school will not do as well becayse of assumptions teachers make and the stereotype that girls are not as good at math as boys are. There's no biological basis for it, it's all social/psychological.
Think about this..I read somewhere that before blue was a boy color and pink was a girl color, it was reversed. hat seems to unimaginable now, doesn't it? but WHY? there's nothing inherent in those colors. It's just part of assumptions we don't even know we're making.
I had never heard (or thought about) the history of the sexual signifiers related to colors. I thought it was interesting, so I found this article to learn more about it
|
| Posted 8/24/12 6:15 PM |
| |
|
DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by gforce
wOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY WEAKER THAN MEN.
Hmmmm...I am going to assume this comment was just a brain fart gone bad, because it's such a reproachful generalization.
To answer the OP, I do not think they are "setting women back" so to speak, but they are certainly not encouraging benevolence among the sexes, or even among their own genders. Some women, I think, like to come across like "big girls", and that's to say that they think the world is out to get them and they need to be seen as tough. It's the "me against the world" mentality.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 6:18 PM |
| |
|
InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by lilygreen
I had never heard (or thought about) the history of the sexual signifiers related to colors. I thought it was interesting, so I found this article to learn more about it
What a great article. Thanks for sharing!
|
| Posted 8/24/12 6:45 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by tourist
Posted by maybebaby
I am guilty of telling my sons not to whine like a girl...maybe it's not the best thing in the world to say, but i never thought much about it.
Why wouldn't you just tell them to stop whining?
By adding, "like a girl" you are implying that whining is only bad because it makes them seem feminine. As you yourself pointed out, whining is just plain annoying--coming from a boy or a girl.
I don't say that every time..most of the time i say "ENOUGH WITH THE WHINING!!"
But on occasion i've added the girl part. I would say that most of my friends have said similar things as well (those with sons). To hear my almost 6 year old son whine in a high pitched voice makes me think he sounds like a girl and it drives me crazy. You're right, its prob implying that it makes them seem feminine..which in itself is NOT a bad thing (heck, i'm a woman right?? lol) BUT i'm guilty of it and not thinking about it. this post def made me think a bit more..
|
| Posted 8/24/12 7:03 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by gforce
wOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY WEAKER THAN MEN.
Seriously!?!?! This is such an overly generalized statement. Not ALL women are physically weaker than ALL men. And, more importantly, even if some or most women are physically weaker than some or most men, it in no way makes women inferior to men.
I think any statements, especially when made to children, that denegrate women or insinuate that women are not as good as men, are destructive and only serve to perpetuate false stereotypes.
i took the comment to mean that women are just built physically different than men, which is 100% true. We don't have the same amount of muscle mass, we have more body fat etc..(these are general statements, doesn't mean it holds true for everyone). We were built to carry babies, hence the higher concentration of fat than a man. But no, we are not inferior whatsoever!!
|
| Posted 8/24/12 7:05 PM |
| |
|
Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
When my DS whines I always say "would you like some cheese with your whine, sir?" 
Eta: substitute Kids for homosexuals & it's been done probably a lot longer. It's sad really.
BUT on The Today show they said the college graduating class of 2016 will have always had a woman in a powerful seat in the White House. Madeline Albright, Condoleeza Rice, & Hillary Clinton. That's pretty kick ass, if you ask me!
Message edited 8/24/2012 8:28:21 PM.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 8:01 PM |
| |
|
rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
I don't know how much it sets back women, but I do think the way we talk about femininity impacts the way girls (and boys) view themselves. It is not good for men or women, honestly. It seems so innocent to say "Stop acting like a girl" but it puts pressure on boys to conform to certain ideals, as well as tells girls that there is something inherently weak or inferior about women. Acting like a girl is bad. I know I am probably a feminazi or whatever, but I put calling someone a "girl" as an insult in the same category as calling something "gay" or "retarded"....it makes it seem as if that is undesirable, and that is not the message I would want to send.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 8:33 PM |
| |
|
Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
On the flip side, some people believe their is a war on boys by trying to feminize them. Such as, not allowing boys to play rough, etc.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 9:08 PM |
| |
|
rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
I think when we villainize any gender expression, there are unintended consequences. Some kids whine, some like to play rough (girls included), some like dolls, some like to play with trucks, etc. I think the problem is when we overly ascribe certain interests or behaviors to a gender, it becomes a sanction, in the sense that children figure it out and begin acting out "normal" gender rolls, when what they might have been interested in would have been more varied or interesting.
I have no problem with boys or girls playing rough, or with dolls, or with whatever they want. But to rigidly define what it means to be a man or a woman is where I find issue.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 9:19 PM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
I tell my boys to stop whining like a girl or to man up. Honestly, I don't think I'm putting myself down or setting womankind back by saying that. I want my boys to be strong, tough. I also want them to express their emotions, but I do expect them to do it differently then if I had a girl. Is that wrong? Possibly. Probably. But tell me any woman you know who finds a weak man attractive.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 10:03 PM |
| |
|
stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by Robin
I don't know how much it sets back women, but I do think the way we talk about femininity impacts the way girls (and boys) view themselves. It is not good for men or women, honestly. It seems so innocent to say "Stop acting like a girl" but it puts pressure on boys to conform to certain ideals, as well as tells girls that there is something inherently weak or inferior about women. Acting like a girl is bad. I know I am probably a feminazi or whatever, but I put calling someone a "girl" as an insult in the same category as calling something "gay" or "retarded"....it makes it seem as if that is undesirable, and that is not the message I would want to send.
I am like this too. I don't like to label and am very aware of when I generalize across the board, I just catch myself when I say something or am about to. I think it's very similar to prejudices or racism. On the one hand we want to embrace differences but not in a derogatory way (whether about someone's sex, race, etc.)
However, the awareness of what comes out of our mouth and how it can be offensive to some or how what we say affects people is important to!
|
| Posted 8/24/12 10:10 PM |
| |
|
PoppySeed
LIF Infant
Member since 10/09 358 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by nferrandi
But tell me any woman you know who finds a weak man attractive.
Tell me any man you know who finds a whiny woman attractive. Whining is unattractive on anyone.
|
| Posted 8/24/12 10:19 PM |
| |
|
gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by Ayne11
I think big girl panties really mean stop acting like a baby & put your adult undies on.
ita
|
| Posted 8/24/12 10:44 PM |
| |
|
summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by Robin
I think when we villainize any gender expression, there are unintended consequences. Some kids whine, some like to play rough (girls included), some like dolls, some like to play with trucks, etc. I think the problem is when we overly ascribe certain interests or behaviors to a gender, it becomes a sanction, in the sense that children figure it out and begin acting out "normal" gender rolls, when what they might have been interested in would have been more varied or interesting.
I have no problem with boys or girls playing rough, or with dolls, or with whatever they want. But to rigidly define what it means to be a man or a woman is where I find issue.
You expressed exactly what I feel towards this. I'm curious & it would be interesting to know if the moms of just boys (and I only have boys myself) who said that they are guilty of this would use this wording if they had a girl in the house. Would they say stop acting like a little girl, like your sister? lol. I don't know, makes no sense to me since there are more positive words people can use, especially when speaking to kids. In regards to making comments like that around adults, I just don't.
Message edited 8/27/2012 10:02:49 AM.
|
| Posted 8/27/12 9:49 AM |
| |
|
Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Posted by gforce
wOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY WEAKER THAN MEN.
This has nothing to do with the question...
|
| Posted 8/27/12 9:54 AM |
| |
|
DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
|
Re: sort of spinoff to: war against women
Some statements do bother me. I would not tell my son to "stop whining like a girl" I would probably say "stop whining like a baby" though at 10 months, he IS a baby
I am think I am more conscious of phrases like this bc I am a school counselor so I am very careful how I word things with my students and would never want my girls to made to feel 'weaker". Also I am a pretty strong woman, not necessarily physically, but in other ways I am tough, so to me it doesn't make sense.
Would I say it sets us back? no but a lot of times I also cringe and just think it is in bad taste in general.
|
| Posted 8/27/12 11:12 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
