if a family member watches your dc

Do you pay them anything beyond regular food or other expenses? If so, is it the equivalent of paying a nanny?

I don't think that's "done" in dhs family where the grandma traditionally watches the kids. Tia

if a family member watches your dc

We don't give my MIL money for watching my girls but we will buy her extra things for her birthday, Christmas, etc.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

yes, we pay my mil a small amount- probably about 1/2 of what we would have to pay a nanny- we also pay her car insurance, tolls, and gas

eta- this is her only job and she is not in a position to not take the money

Message edited 11/7/2012 1:58:17 PM.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

MIL and my mom, no, we don't pay them anything nor would they take it. When DH's cousin has babysat we paid her $110 a day. She has a masters in education and daycare experience. She was also driving 45 minutes each way to get here. I do realize it was way more than average.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

My dad watches DS and I do not pay him. He actually buys his food and milk too. i have paid for a vacation for him and just bought my parents a new TV. I don't think he knew I was going to pay so I almost fell over when he chose the 60" but there is no one else I would want to watch DS!

Re: if a family member watches your dc

My mom quit her job to stay home and watch DS and my niece - both 2, 5 days a week. She said she didn't want us to give her anything.

My brother and I paid her medical insurance each month until she was eligible for Medicare (this year).

Although, I don't think she actually used it to pay her insurance. I think she put the money we gave her into the kid's bank accounts

We also buy diapers, milk, juice and some food for her house. Now that they are older they don't need 'baby food'.

if a family member watches your dc

I don't pay my mom or MIL but I pay my SIL $65 a day on the days she watches my son. She didn't want any money but no way was I allowing her to not take anything. I asked around and felt $65 was fair. (the hours are 7:30-3:15)

Message edited 11/7/2012 9:27:56 AM.

if a family member watches your dc

My MIL watches DS one day and FIL watches one day. We do nto give them anything. MIL watches at her house and she doesn't even need us to send formula or food...she even has clothes for him.

FIL watches DS at our house and I always make sure there is food for him.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

We do not.

We would, but the grandmas do it to help us. They consider their time financial help too.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

Re: if a family member watches your dc

My mom used to watch DS all day on thursdays and fridays in her house. now she watches him after school on those day. We do not pay her nor would she accept anything from us. However, we give gifts that are greater than we would normally give (and make sure they come from DS, which makes them easier her her to accept)

Re: if a family member watches your dc

I think we will pay her flights to and from DR when DH is off (maybe three times a year). I dont really feel comfortable not paying her. If it was my mom, I wouldnt mind lol.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

I think it depends on their financial situation.

We support my parents financially. When we lived in NY, my mom used to watch DS when DH and I worked. When DS#2 was born, I stopped working but my mom still helped me out with the boys.

Now we moved out of state so they cannot help watch the boys anymore but we still support my parents financially. We pay for their housing, cars, insurance, food and bills.

Whenever they visit, I usually give them a few hundred dollars. It is extra spending money for them and not necessarily pay for watching my kids.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

My dad retired a few years ago so he watches DS. No we don't pay him anything and he will even go out with my mom on weekends and pick up baby food and formula. My dad doesn't expect anything and he knows we are struggling a little bit to make ends meet since we just bought a house and we had the baby about 2 months after we bought the house. So he knows money is tight right now and he loves watching DS.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

nope but we do give her a nicer xmas/bday gift than before.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

No. My mother refuses to take any money from us.

We are very generous for their birthdays and Christmas, and I try to load them up on several different kinds of gift cards to restaurants throughout the year. After watching my DS all day, my mom is sometimes too tired to cook, so my parents go out to eat a lot. Because it's a gift card and not cash, they feel more comfortable accepting that as a gift.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

Nope, my dad watches DS 3 days a week for 10 hours each day. He doesn't want to be paid to watch his grandson. And my dad comes to our house to watch DS. DH & I do, however, keep all of my dad's favorite foods in the house for him. And for his birthday & Christmas he'll be getting special gifts from DS.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

if a family member watches your dc

My in-laws wont take anything from us! Not money, diapers, formula, nothing! I am so beyond grateful but sometimes it makes me feel bad...Almost like I am taking advantage of them. I have tried to give them money more than a few times but they always say no. My SIL recently got married and they helped her a lot so we plan on paying for them and all going on a family trip next year as a thank you.

if a family member watches your dc

My DHs cousin watches DC and we pay her the same as a nanny.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

Well AJ stays with my aunt on weekends and over the summer.

Yes we pay her
Yes she gets special gifts
Yes we pay for AJ's food etc.

Since monthly tuition is $800 we gave her $200 a month total. We *TRY* to give her another $100 for food, etc. I just pay for food when we go out with her (which obviously I wouldn't NORMALLY be eating out). We also just 'happen' to pick up her laundry detergent (her meaning my aunt's favorites) and we always pick up grapes, eggs, apples, other food things when AJ stays over. Even if I *KNOW* she won't finish them off, we leave them behind for my aunt.

She refuses payment, or pushes it back on us or sometimes she'll keep it or other times she'll ask if its ok if AJ goes to this or that museum or thing and of course I ask "how much do you need?" and we pay no questions asked.

For us, we know she loves AJ and AJ loves her and she loves caring for her. But kids aren't cheap. Little things add up. So I have no issue paying for AJ. Cheaper than school! She gets more out of it too. They do all sorts of trips and things. She goes to parties and eats better there than with me LOL

She's well fed, entertained, dressed and loved. Totally worth it to me.

Besides during the 'school year' auntie works as a substitute teacher. So during the break its nice that I can help supplement my dear old aunt's income How else can I take care of her without her knowing??


ETA: we don't pay for weekends. Mostly because she doesnt NEED to go over there, but my aunt begs us. Would drive all the way to our house and back with my daughter if AJ and I allowed it. So its safer for all of us that we drop her off. Then in effort to keep her longer she won't drop AJ off until later in the afternoon when my uncle can drive her over. We still offer to pay for food but she refuses.

Message edited 11/7/2012 3:54:33 PM.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

I don't pay my mom when she watches DD 3 days/week. I do get her nice Mother's Day and Holiday gifts though. I also bring diapers and wipes when I remember.

Re: if a family member watches your dc

Re: if a family member watches your dc

Yes I give my parents $50 a day to watch my twins. For me I told them they had to accept money or I wouldn't do it. My sister lives in Florida and I feel bad that she doesn't have the option of my parents helping so I feel like it is only "fair" that I give them money. Although I am pretty sure they are putting some of the money away for my kids and nephew. I feel like 50/day is not enough. My dad drives to my work 20 minutes away 3 days per week, my mom buys diapers and wipes and food for them even when I say no!

Message edited 11/7/2012 9:14:34 PM.