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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Those who have had losses....
How do you get from sono to sono? (in the early stages.. )
I had two sonos so far each which were PERFECT, but I can't help worrying still just because of everything we've been through. Dr.T said today that he couldn't think of anything bad to say about my sono even if he wanted to! It was as perfect as an appointment can be, and yet I still find myself waiting in fear for the next sono.
Next week is around the time things went bad for us my last two pregnancies so I think I'm particularly on edge over that.
I AM feeling optimistic, I DO have faith that things will be different this time, but this is about more than optimism and faith. I guess this is more about dealing with stress  and the trauma we lived through. I've generally been very calm this pregnancy, but I have my moments.
I should mention here that my DH is totally cool with everything! Men. I wish I was wired like one 
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Posted 1/3/13 2:30 PM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Those who have had losses....
um, i created work for myself at work... my actual job takes up very little time... so i created a project for myself to keep myself occupied... it would hold me over for a few days but usually the day before the sono and the day of the sono i would be a mess! Constant state of butterflies...
one thing that i thought was funny though, as soon as i would get into Dr Bs office all those feelings would be gone...
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| Posted 1/3/13 2:38 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Thanks Ang, it helps to see I'm not the only one who becomes a basketcase each week. Since my DH is soooo totally calm it makes me feel like I'm crazy or something
Now I'm trying to come up with projects... maybe something to artsy make for the nursery.
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| Posted 1/3/13 2:47 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Those who have had losses....
well im not sure how distracted that will make you lol unless you can focus on the task and not what youre doing it for!! lol
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| Posted 1/3/13 2:55 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Good point
I think we may plan a weekend getaway.
In my spare time, I may also invent a time machine for preggos to use. I'll let you know how successful I am with that one
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| Posted 1/3/13 3:14 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by PennyCat
Good point
I think we may plan a weekend getaway.
In my spare time, I may also invent a time machine for preggos to use. I'll let you know how successful I am with that one
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| Posted 1/3/13 3:16 PM |
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JulieLO
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 669 total posts
Name:
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Those who have had losses....
Jax,
Im so glad to hear that everything is going well so far!!!! Thats great news...I wish I could tell you that the fear goes away in these beginning weeks but it doesnt... The weeks in between sonos I would make sure I kept my mind as busy as possible, organized things, made projects, volunteered, whatever so the days passed quickly...
I think everyone has their "safe week" for me, since I lost my first at almost 4 months I needed to be 16 weeks before I felt "safe" now that Im on my 2nd I forget Im pregnant so it has gone sooooooo fast!
Meditate and pray in the morning and start your day...your always welcome to come to my house and help me :lol there is plenty of organization and re-arranging over here being done...
My little one comes in 27 days and we will be home a week later, your always welcome to pass the time with us!!! xoxo
ttys
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| Posted 1/3/13 6:39 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Thanks Julie, it's so true about us all having our safe weeks. I was JUST telling my mom that I really hope I can wake up at 17wk4d and still be pregnant because I never made it that far. It's so sad what this road does to us. As it is, my last two pregnancies went down by 8wks. My sono at 8wk3d is my mega goal. After that, I'm sure I'll have some other checkpoint I'll be holding my breath till.
For reasons I can't even explain, this time just feels different. My lining is perfect, we transferred genetically normal embryos... I'm with a doctor who believe this will work. I just wish I could forget all the trauma over the last three years because I know if not for that, I wouldn't be nearly as scared.
I'm trying to be normal.
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| Posted 1/4/13 12:42 AM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by PennyCat
In my spare time, I may also invent a time machine for preggos to use. I'll let you know how successful I am with that one
Please get on that!! 
I wish I knew the answer to your question...
As you know, I had my Ultrascreen last week and don't have another appointment/sono until 1/24. I'm going insane and it's only the 4th!!!!!
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| Posted 1/4/13 9:42 AM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
a hobby or distraction? what great advice! i wish i had thought to tell you that 
 
Message edited 1/4/2013 10:26:33 AM.
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| Posted 1/4/13 10:25 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by FlowerWife
a hobby or distraction? what great advice! i wish i had thought to tell you that
ehhhh I can hobby it up all day long but I'll still be very nervous about things.
Maybe you should invite us with you to Atlantic City this weekend  Then you can be sarcastic to my face! 
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| Posted 1/4/13 12:30 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by FlowerWife
a hobby or distraction? what great advice! i wish i had thought to tell you that
ehhhh I can hobby it up all day long but I'll still be very nervous about things.
Maybe you should invite us with you to Atlantic City this weekend Then you can be sarcastic to my face!
facetime?
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| Posted 1/4/13 12:53 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by FlowerWife
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by FlowerWife
a hobby or distraction? what great advice! i wish i had thought to tell you that
ehhhh I can hobby it up all day long but I'll still be very nervous about things.
Maybe you should invite us with you to Atlantic City this weekend Then you can be sarcastic to my face!
facetime?
It's not the same
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| Posted 1/4/13 1:44 PM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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Those who have had losses....
I have so been there. I tried reading alot of books on hope and kept reminding myself that all is ok until I'm told it isn't. My dr's understood my nerves and I was seen weekly until I got past my scary weeks. Even though I'm past the points of my losses, its still nerve wrecking. I'm now seen about every 3 weeks and its not nearly enough.
After each appt I would make deals with myself though. If this appt goes well, I'll do this.. Or I'll do that. And then I had to live up to my end of the bargain. Helped pass the time.. A little..
Good luck and sending positive vibes your way...
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| Posted 1/4/13 7:31 PM |
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heather10292010
Gonna be a big sister
Member since 12/10 1749 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Those who have had losses....
I would be okay then a few days before sono I'd be a nervous wreck.,,,,laying down on exam table. Enforce sono I found I clenched my hands and held my breath. My dh told me I squeezed the crap out of his hand. I thought I would be better after we surpassed our loss but honestly it wasn't easier ( at least for me). For me it was wose because I had an anterior placenta and I couldn't feel her. In my heart I knew everything was going to be fine and it was!
Sending tons of positive vibes!!
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| Posted 1/4/13 9:32 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Thanks ladies, it's weird... I find myself most nervous the day after my sono because it's the furthest day from my next one. As the days get closer to my next sono I start to calm down at least knowing that soon I'll get some more (hopefully) confirmation that things are going well! The one to two days before my sono I at least know it's coming soon and my wait is dwindling down..... Did I ever mention my former surrogate was a sono tech? I'm not kidding I often think of visiting her so she could do a quick scan!
I like the idea to do something for myself after the appts. I def think I deserve some kind of reward for good behavior here, just not sure what!
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| Posted 1/4/13 11:43 PM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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Those who have had losses....
Sometimes I treat myself to something bad to eat. Or i do something baby related. I wouldn't let myself read a pregnancy book or download an app until I was past a specific appt. then as time went on it became if all goes well ill tell this person or that person.
As for the time machine I've been saying that since day 1 and I hate when people tell me to sit back as enjoy this time. my dr I wish there was a fast forward button I could press
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| Posted 1/5/13 6:45 AM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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Those who have had losses....
Oops. That posted too quick ( hate posting on my phone). In any case hang in there and good luck!!!!
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| Posted 1/5/13 6:46 AM |
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DitD
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/12 650 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
I have become a words with friends addict. it is the only thing that takes my mind off things. wanna play
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| Posted 1/5/13 9:00 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by DitD
I have become a words with friends addict. it is the only thing that takes my mind off things. wanna play
FMing you!!
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| Posted 1/6/13 5:43 PM |
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classc1
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 805 total posts
Name:
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Those who have had losses....
Jackie...having lost six (2 m/c's and 4 chemicals)...it's hard. It really is. I can only imagine that in your case it's even harder having lost a baby later. I will say that the worry hasn't ended for me yet BUT...once I did some genetic testing, I started to feel better about things. I think that as infertiles...we have lost our innocence..popped our cherry so to speak. We can't really go back to being blissfully ignorant in pregnancy. Sadly, infertility has stolen this from us...BUT...I think that we should fight like hell to enjoy each and every moment!! I think that with the passge of time things will get better. Praying for you!!
Message edited 1/7/2013 2:13:52 PM.
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| Posted 1/7/13 2:13 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by classc1
Jackie...having lost six (2 m/c's and 4 chemicals)...it's hard. It really is. I can only imagine that in your case it's even harder having lost a baby later. I will say that the worry hasn't ended for me yet BUT...once I did some genetic testing, I started to feel better about things. I think that as infertiles...we have lost our innocence..popped our cherry so to speak. We can't really go back to being blissfully ignorant in pregnancy. Sadly, infertility has stolen this from us...BUT...I think that we should fight like hell to enjoy each and every moment!! I think that with the passge of time things will get better. Praying for you!!
Thank you so much for this!!  I really am trying to enjoy every moment but it honestly hasn't even registered in my head yet that this is real and I could potentially be a mom this summer. I miss the days of my first pregnancy where I POAS and took it all for granted just assuming that that's all it would take and I was on my fast track to mommyhood. I remember going to my first sono and not for a MINUTE imagining that I could go back for the next one and the heartbeat might not be there or my baby would be sick. I was living in a different world then.... I think the world I'm in now is just a much more aware, appreciative one. I know better than to go into a sono BEGGING a higher power to give me a certain gender... or to just assume it will all be ok. I went into my last two sonos shaking. I don't think it will always be that way ....... but I will never in my life take another good news day for granted. Gd knows, you never know when that type of appointment could be your last. 
Message edited 1/7/2013 7:23:20 PM.
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| Posted 1/7/13 7:22 PM |
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babyttc
LIF Infant
Member since 3/11 79 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
the fear is always there but you should learn to distract yourself and count the blessing. Easy said than done. I know. what helped me the most was a personal doppler to check the heartbeats when i was really down. it helps some to calm the nerves. this will be your rainbow babies and try to enjoy the pregnancy.
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:41 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by babyttc
the fear is always there but you should learn to distract yourself and count the blessing. Easy said than done. I know. what helped me the most was a personal doppler to check the heartbeats when i was really down. it helps some to calm the nerves. this will be your rainbow babies and try to enjoy the pregnancy.
Thanks! I actually decided against a doppler. I know it's sometimes hard to detect heartbeats with it and besides that, in my first pregnancy when we first learned of the complications my baby still had a heartbeat. So, while detecting one at home could be VERY reassuring for some, it's def not enough reassurance for me! I'd rather just wait for my sonos and that says a lot!
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:49 AM |
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Softkitty
LIF Infant
Member since 7/12 311 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
the sad fact is we lost our innocence. there will ALWAYS be that doubt, atleast I think so.
you dont know what you have until its gone... and in this case, most pregnant women dont know how lucky they are to never have a loss because it never crosses their mind.
a few thoughts have helped but honestly it fear hasnt subsided...
1) you CAN, HAVE, and DID, get pg. thats a great thing.
2)each pg has risks, but at this point, you are on the good side of those risk. as hard as it is to admit, your past doesnt affect this time...physically speaking. you are today, in the same boat as someone who never had a loss and is a pig in $hit with no concerns.
the other thing is this... you are so set on having a baby. you cant wait, but in fact, being pregnant is an experience too. you dont want to miss the first steps, and first words, so dont allow yourself to miss the feelings of being pregnant. the joy, the sickness, the nerves, the creative juices, etc.
getting married as great, but i wanted to enjoy the engagement too... i look at this is the same light... or atleast try too.
i hope this made sense
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| Posted 1/8/13 12:03 PM |
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