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How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
So my MIL watched my DS on Sat. For about 4 hrs or so. I came home , all was fine, I went to change his diaper later on and his skin was very read and irritated , I looked and he had little bit of poop inside his behaind and around his scrotum area. like he wasn't cleaned properly, know what I mean?
When DD was a baby, around 6 months , I went back to work part time, just 2x a week so my MIl watched her. almost every time she did I would come home and find that DD wasn't cleaned properly and always had little poop on her , inside her private parts, like she didn't not wipe her very well and my DD would break out in a terrible rash, but DH and I never said anything , since it was only temporary and I stopped working in a few weeks.
Now that the same thing happened with DS I want to say something, especially because we will need her to watch DS bit more next few weeks (personal reasons) and he poops after almost every feeding since he is BF. she is the only family member who can help out and we can't afford a babysitter.
But I don't know how to say it, she is one of tose people who gets offended very easily , she is very sensitive . I told DH and he said he'll talk to her but I don't want it to look like I complained to him behind her back and I wasn't forward with her, so I'd like to be the one to say something.
But not sure how or what to say.
I know this seems silly , but I am really stressing over this 
Any ideas?
Message edited 1/8/2013 9:09:19 AM.
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Posted 1/8/13 9:06 AM  |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
I would tell her the baby gets really bad rashes unless you wash his booty and front in the sink/ tub. When my inlaws watched ds, the rinsed him with baby soap and water. We did the same and ds never had a rash, and we knew he was very clean
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:12 AM |
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by Onemoretime
I would tell her the baby gets really bad rashes unless you wash his booty and front in the sink/ tub. When my inlaws watched ds, the rinsed him with baby soap and water. We did the same and ds never had a rash, and we knew he was very clean
DH and I wash my DS when he has a very bad poop , other times we just wipe him , but we never leave anything on him, neither did my mother with my DD or DS (she lives OOS) She gets it all, lol.
my MIL can't wash the baby unfortunately, she is just not someone who can handle more than just wiping the baby , even when she needs to change his clothes she gets nervous as if he is going to break or something,lol. She didn't even hold him first 3 months because she said she was nervous.
I just need to tell her to make sure and wipe him very well and not leave anything behind, but not sure how to bring it up or how to say it in a VERY nice way 
Message edited 1/8/2013 9:22:12 AM.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:20 AM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
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Randi
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Just say he has really sensitive skin and you noticed than when you (not her) don't clean him thoroughly, he gets a rash-- and then show her how you do it to make sure his skin stays ok. And do not mention that she did it with your DD-- no reason to bring that up.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:28 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by randella
Just say he has really sensitive skin and you noticed than when you (not her) don't clean him thoroughly, he gets a rash-- and then show her how you do it to make sure his skin stays ok. And do not mention that she did it with your DD-- no reason to bring that up.
ITA
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:30 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Honestly- I would say, 'Please make sure he's wiped/cleaned thoroughly after every diaper change because i've noticed he's prone to rashes if even a trace is left on him.'
Don't mention that she did a crappy job with your DD and DS already.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:32 AM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Does she wear glasses for reading? If so, it could be that she's not using them when she changes him and doesn't actually see that she's leaving some stuff behind. I've had this experience with my parents. 
That said, I think a gentle reminder about how he gets rashes if not wiped thoroughly and properly should be fine. Like others said, do NOT mention that you noticed she did a bad job of it last time. Good luck! 
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:36 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
My MIL is the same way!!! She was afraid that if she wiped to hard or to much she would hurt them. She also offends very easily. My son had a horrible rash from her changing him, to the point it bled. I told her straight out, this child need to be cleaned properly, and that entails you getting a little rougher with the wiping. She told me she wouldnt change him again. That lasted all of 1 day. She got a lot better. I still end up grabbing my son after she changes him and just making sure he is well cleaned.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:45 AM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by randella
Just say he has really sensitive skin and you noticed than when you (not her) don't clean him thoroughly, he gets a rash-- and then show her how you do it to make sure his skin stays ok. And do not mention that she did it with your DD-- no reason to bring that up.
ITA
ITA
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:47 AM |
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Thanks ladies, I'm going to talk to her today, hope for the best, lol.
And no I will nit bring up the DD situation, that will definitely offend her .
To answerone of the PPs yes she wears glasses, for readinga nd otherwise so maybe she just doesn's see , not sure.
My MIL is a wonderful person , very good MIL and such a good grandma, but she is a terrible babysitter Thank god we don't need her to watch the kids too much.
Thanks so much everyone.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:50 AM |
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MrsScott
So in Love
Member since 1/09 3356 total posts
Name:
Shawna
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
my dd is allergic to wet wipes so we have to clean her with warm water and we use soap if she makes a bad poop. However, just tell her the baby is allergic to wipes and she has to rinse him after each bowl movement and use a wet wash cloth when he pees
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| Posted 1/8/13 10:02 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
I would invoke the pediatrican's name. Tell her that he said the rashes can damage his skin or something & that the best way to ensure it is to make sure he's clean.
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| Posted 1/8/13 11:50 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would invoke the pediatrican's name. Tell her that he said the rashes can damage his skin or something & that the best way to ensure it is to make sure he's clean.
That was along the lines of what I was going to suggest. I would just say something like, "We noticed that DS has been getting some rashes/irritation lately and we talked to the pediatrician, and he stressed that it was so important to make sure that he's thoroughly clean in all crevices down there. I find it hard to get everything sometimes, but I'm really making sure to double-check now."
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| Posted 1/8/13 11:53 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by randella
Just say he has really sensitive skin and you noticed than when you (not her) don't clean him thoroughly, he gets a rash-- and then show her how you do it to make sure his skin stays ok. And do not mention that she did it with your DD-- no reason to bring that up.
ITA
ITA with this and have said this to my MIL. She was alerted and we fixed the rash situation.
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| Posted 1/8/13 11:58 AM |
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toniV
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 586 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by Jax430
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would invoke the pediatrican's name. Tell her that he said the rashes can damage his skin or something & that the best way to ensure it is to make sure he's clean.
That was along the lines of what I was going to suggest. I would just say something like, "We noticed that DS has been getting some rashes/irritation lately and we talked to the pediatrician, and he stressed that it was so important to make sure that he's thoroughly clean in all crevices down there. I find it hard to get everything sometimes, but I'm really making sure to double-check now."
ITA
I would go with this also. SO then it looks like info you are passing along from the doctor and that it's not just directed at her, it's for you and DH also.
GL!
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| Posted 1/8/13 12:03 PM |
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tmarie
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 260 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
I would not let your husband say anything if she would take it like you are complaining.
I would casually bring it up, how you felt so bad he had a rash and he seemed miserable. I would say the doctor gave you these guidelines and if she wouldn't mind would she please make sure that everything is very clean down there.
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| Posted 1/8/13 12:10 PM |
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DSLaff
Team One of Each
Member since 10/09 2150 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
can you tell the truth with a lil fake tears ? for some sympathy so she doesn't get offended and just nurtures?
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| Posted 1/8/13 12:49 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
does she wear her glasses when she changes diapers?
Once I got my mom to wear glasses, she started doing a great job - I knew she was missing it b/c she didn't see it b/c she is SO crazy about cleanliness!
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| Posted 1/8/13 12:56 PM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: How should I approach this situation? Little TMi
Posted by wo0shply
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by randella
Just say he has really sensitive skin and you noticed than when you (not her) don't clean him thoroughly, he gets a rash-- and then show her how you do it to make sure his skin stays ok. And do not mention that she did it with your DD-- no reason to bring that up.
ITA
ITA
Same here, she's probably less likely to take offense if you say it like its something that happened while you were changing him and that in the future you all need to be more careful.
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| Posted 1/8/13 1:03 PM |
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