almost 5 year will not listen

DS will be 5 in April. He is in Pre-k.

He does not listen. ever. If you ask him to get dressed in the morning, brush his teeth, eat his breakfast, anything he says "when I feel like it".

If you asking him not to climb on the furniture or touch things he is not supposed to touch he rationalizes why he is doing it "I'm hungry and I want to see what is on the top shelf. I'm bored of everything on the bottom shelf".

EVERYTHING is an excuse. talking back. a reason why he HAS to do what he is doing. Or just fresh talk or talking back. "No, mom, you're wrong, I do what I want".

I put him in time out and he stands there screaming at me telling me I'm mean. I throw his toys in the garbage and as soon as he is out of time out, he roots through the garbage to pick them out.

When I dropped him off at school this morning, his teacher pulled me aside and said that he has not been listening for the past 2 weeks.

I'm at my wits end. He's a good boy. He just wants to do what he wants to do all the time and cannot restrain himself from doing it. I don't know what to do anymore.

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

I think consistency is key and not listening to the excuses when he says I'm bored with the bottom shelf then say you have to ask me for the top shelf and not climb on the cabinets. Take him down and make him ask properly otherwise he wont get anything. It isn't easy.

What do you do when he takes the toy out of the garbage? You should take it away again and throw it outside in the garbage that might send a message.

In addition maybe he is looking for attention so try and reinforce when he is listening and give him positive attention.

Good Luck

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

Fresh talk is an immediate time out.

Time out doesn't start until you stop yelling, so he gets his 5 minutes plus whatever time he spends yelling.

Toys in the garbage stay inthe garbage (I've done this). Even if you have to tie the bag and put it in the can.

Cancel fun plans because only kids who listen get to do fun things.

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

What does he like? What motivates or gets him excited? I've tried to answer those questions for each of my boys (ages 5 and 7). We try to position the things that they like or activities as a priviledge and not a right. They have to earn the privilege to watch TV, play video games or use their DS. It has helped with keeping their behavior in check.

It's a total trial and error with my kids because what works for one this week doesn't work the next. I do agree that consistency is the key. Sometimes it's so inconvenient to stick to the 'rules' we set but I notice when we stand firm it works.

Good luck

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

I am sure he gets it and it is a power play on his part. It is frustrating, I'm sure.

For DD who is 5.5, I've also told her that she must be tired and need to take a nap or go to bed reallllly early because why else would she be acting like this. That works too. I put her to bed at 6 once. She called to us a 1000 times, but we stuck to our guns. Maybe that would work?

Or, take all/most of his toys away and make him earn them back by behaving? Tell him only boys who behave get to play with toys. Keep a chart, if he does well he gets a toy back.

Re: almost 5 year will not listen

Re: almost 5 year will not listen