i hate myself

regular in hiding....

had level II today and found out the gender.

honest... im upset. of course im not mad and still happy to be starting a family, but i wanted the other sex. i actually want to cry a bit.


am i a terrible person?

Re: i hate myself

No, you're not! I totally think it's ok to have a preference for gender. I hate those posts where people go on and on about just having a healthy baby. Of course! But it's perfectly reasonable to want a little boy or girl too.

I'm pregnant with my first and we found out. I am already thinking about #2 and I can tell you, I want a baby of the opposite sex. It doesn't seem like a popular opinion around here (stinks you have to be in hiding to post this), but you are not alone.

Re: i hate myself

Give yourself a couple of weeks and see how you feel. DH and I wanted a In the worst way. We were calling my tummy "he" and only thought about boys names. When the sono tech said I admit we were both disappointed.
Since finding out we have started looking at furniture and clothes and I am starting to get really excited about having a
DH said yesterday that he thinks he might cry when she is born he is so excited.

Re: i hate myself

I have always wanted one of each, and if I don't have that there will always be a part of me that is somewhat disappointed. It doesn't mean you love your child less, it just means you had a vision, it was changed so you are a little sad.

I can tell you when you meet your baby you are not going to care in the slightest if it is a boy or a girl. You will be in love.

Re: i hate myself

no you are not. I felt that way with my first and also felt awful bc I felt so lucky to conceive and to conceive a healthy child and knew I shouldn't care but I had always pictured myself with a girl. That said, my son is the supreme love of my life and I can not imagine having had a girl instead of him and boys are so much fun. Now with #2 I am having a girl and so thrilled but this time I honestly didn't care bc one bit though am very happy. So, it's okay to feel this even though you feel you should be thinking (well the most important this is they are healthy) which is of course SO true but it's okay to feel upset about the other.

Re: i hate myself

I don't think its horrible at all! Many people feel that way! I will say though that all this drama I am going through has made me into one of those people that just hope for a healthy baby. I wanted to find out the sex and DH didn't. I used to pout about it but now, I really really don't care.

Re: i hate myself

I think its perfectly normal. I thought for this baby I was for sure having another boy. When the sono tech said girl I was so excited but a little disappointed at the same time. I have always wanted a little girl but I am so used to having a boy the idea of all this pink is freaking me out a litttle. Hang in there the feeling will change and you will be very happy once the little one gets here.

You can always try for another one in a few years :)

Re: i hate myself

It's okay to have a preference. We wanted a boy first but when we learned we were having a girl, we were overjoyed. Now it's really exciting to us.

Re: i hate myself

I feel you and this is o e of the reasons I didn't want to find out because I know I will hate myself if lo is different from what I think it is. I thought if I waited for the birth I will just be so overcome with joy that I won't have a second to think of its not a ... But dh wants to find out and is annoying about it

Re: i hate myself

I think your feelings are normal, I don't think it's terrible at all to have a gender preference. I can definitely understand being upset. You're not a terrible person.

Re: i hate myself

Before DS was born everyone was telling me they hoped I was having a girl so it got my mind set on wanting a girl too. Then when we found out it was going to be a boy I will be honest I got a little upset. But of course that changed very quickly and holding DS and looking at him, I couldn't imagine anything else. Well, we are pg with #2 now and of course I am getting "now you need a girl to have one of each". I let people's comments affect me too much. I really would be happy with another boy but can't get some comments out of my head. We don't know the gender yet.

Re: i hate myself

Totally normal. I have a already, so im hoping for a . im sure i will be alittle disappointed if its not. And i think thats totally normal. Dont be so hard on yourself. Alot of us have been there.

Re: i hate myself

It's normal! Actually- part of the reason I'm staying this time is because I know I will feel a bit disappointed if this is another girl (I already have 2).

Another part of me worries that I will be so CLUELESS if this is a boy because I'm so used to girls.

Once that baby is in your arms it won't matter if it's really an alien from outer space- it's YOURS and you will love him or her with all of your being!

Re: i hate myself

i have a preference... if thats the right word... i think its normal

Re: i hate myself

aww, i think that's normal for a lot of people.

i don't really allow myself to 'day dream' one way or the other for this very reason - i'm afraid that if i picture it one way or the other, when i find out, i'll be disappointed. that's a big fear of mine so i push gender thoughts out of my head lol! crazy!

but i can tell you this - i have had friends tell me they felt the same way you did but once their child was born, they were over the moon thrilled and in love. so, i think no matter what, you'll be so happy at the end of the day.