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liadorbs
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1221 total posts
Name:
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When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
I always ask but if I'm told to bring nothing, I generally bring a bottle of wine or flowers.
I never bring food unless I'm asked to specifically. I don't want to mess up someone's menu or planning.
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Posted 3/18/13 11:37 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by maybebaby
I don't personally think it matter if it goes with everything you planned...just put it out and no one will really care. Typically I'll bring wine or a dessert if I'm told not to bring anything but I feel it's always appreciated. I think it's nice that people bring something anyway, it's gracious on their part!
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| Posted 3/18/13 11:39 AM |
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violet25
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 101 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
we usually bring wine. they can choose to serve it or save it/regift it. in our circles it is usually served but not always.
when people ask us we usually say they dont need to bring anything but if they would like to, bring dessert or fruit. I prefer to focus on the meal and don't like to bother with dessert and am happy for them to bring it.
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| Posted 3/18/13 12:22 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by LSP2005
If the host says no, I bring wine as a hostess gift. Whether or not to serve it is up to the host. I would not bring food if I was told not to though. I look at the wine as a gift. They can feel free to enjoy it later or give it to someone else.
Exactly this.
I don't ever show up empty handed so I feel a nice bottle of wine is just a way of showing the hosts appreciation for having us over. I don't feel they have to open and serve said bottle that night (unless they want to) as it's a gift and can be used any time they feel like.
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| Posted 3/18/13 12:45 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
I learned my lesson not to show up with dessert after being told not to bring anything. I once brought a fancy cheesecake from a bakery that everyone raved about. Turned out that the hostess had made her own cheesecake (I had no idea of this ahead of time), but of course felt obligated to also put out mine. No one said anything but I felt really dumb and like I had turned it into a cheesecake competition.
Now I will ask if I can bring anything (sometimes people will say 'yes, bring a dessert), which I don't think is tacky at all. If they say no then I'm bringing wine. If I know they don't drink I'll bring flowers or a little gift for the house.
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| Posted 3/18/13 12:59 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Whether it goes with what you are serving or not, it should still be put out.
I was taught "Never go emptyhanded". I'll bring dessert usually.
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| Posted 3/18/13 1:08 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
I would just bring a flower arrangement if they said no food. Not everyone drinks, so flowers are a safe option.
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| Posted 3/18/13 1:10 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by ANR1211
I would bring a bottle of wine or a dessert. I feel rude showing up anywhere without bringing something.
This i what i do.
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| Posted 3/18/13 1:47 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by luvbuffet
i never ask if i should bring anything and i hate it when people ask me if they should bring something. i cant go to anyones house empty handed. even if its not food, ill bring over a gift whether its something for the house or perfume or something personal . some people may disagree, but i think asking if they should bring something is tacky
Well, I think bringing perfume is weird
I always ask and if told not to bring anything I bring wine.
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| Posted 3/18/13 2:09 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
haha it is.. but im not normal
ive given my friends perfume. its a safe gift
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| Posted 3/18/13 2:21 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by maybebaby
I don't personally think it matter if it goes with everything you planned...just put it out and no one will really care. Typically I'll bring wine or a dessert if I'm told not to bring anything but I feel it's always appreciated. I think it's nice that people bring something anyway, it's gracious on their part!
Exactly. I could never be that anal to give a shit if something didn't "go" with what was being served at a party.
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| Posted 3/18/13 2:41 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
It is all about knowing your audience. If it is a friend I will always bring some wine and maybe a dessert. If it is a more formal acquaintance or someone I do not know very well then I will bring a hostess gift and a bottle of port or something. A a more formal dinner party many hosts choose their wines to pair with their foods so I do not want them to feel pressured so something like port they can just keep.
Etiquette dictates that you do not bring food or wine but I think with friends then different rules apply.
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| Posted 3/18/13 5:42 PM |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by Jugglemom
It is all about knowing your audience. If it is a friend I will always bring some wine and maybe a dessert. If it is a more formal acquaintance or someone I do not know very well then I will bring a hostess gift and a bottle of port or something. A a more formal dinner party many hosts choose their wines to pair with their foods so I do not want them to feel pressured so something like port they can just keep.
Etiquette dictates that you do not bring food or wine but I think with friends then different rules apply.
I must have terrible etiquette because I almost always bring wine. And honestly, if someone were to bring any type of wine to my house, I wouldn't complain. ever.
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| Posted 3/18/13 5:55 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Not food, but a small gift for the hostess which is in no way related to the meal. A bottle of wine for them, or something of the sort.
However, if someone brings food to my home, I will graciously and appreciatively server it whether it goes with my meal or not.
Message edited 3/18/2013 6:31:20 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/13 6:30 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
i must be super fat bc i think score more food for me after everyone leaves!
i also must not be a great hostess bc i never had a meal where if someone brought over cookies it did not go with my theme
but then again what goes with pizza and a bag of chips
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| Posted 3/18/13 6:47 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Always. I tell my kids when you are guests at someone's home you always bring something.
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:09 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
I never go to anyones house without something. I wouldnt bring food, but would bring alcohol of some sorts. For that night, or for them.
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:11 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
if someone says "dont worry about bringing something."
I'll usually still bring over dessert... If I know they'll have alot I might (sigh - regift a bottle of wine, since we don't drink it). When someone brings a bottle of wine to our house I usually put it out by the drinks with an opener, if it doesn't get opened it tends to get regifted.
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:21 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by Jugglemom
It is all about knowing your audience. If it is a friend I will always bring some wine and maybe a dessert. If it is a more formal acquaintance or someone I do not know very well then I will bring a hostess gift and a bottle of port or something. A a more formal dinner party many hosts choose their wines to pair with their foods so I do not want them to feel pressured so something like port they can just keep.
Etiquette dictates that you do not bring food or wine but I think with friends then different rules apply.
See I have been to the type of parties you describe here and everyone brought bottles of wine for the host. There are usually 25 bottles of wine on the baby grand piano or credenza. None were opened , nor was it expected they would be. These events are usually catered, with wines specifically paired to the meal and floral arrangements are brought in or pre-delivered. I was always taught to not come empty handed.
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:31 PM |
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When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
I'm with the majority. If the host says don't bring something, DH and I will bring a bottle of wine or beer (depending on what type of dinner it is - BBQ or dinner party). We never go empty handed. Most of the time it's close friends and I'll tell them "either tell me what to bring or I'm bringing wine" just so they know, no matter what I'm bringing something.
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:34 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Always bring a wine that they can enjoy later. If I am the host I would never be annoyed at anything someone brings
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:36 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by maybebaby
I don't personally think it matter if it goes with everything you planned...just put it out and no one will really care. Typically I'll bring wine or a dessert if I'm told not to bring anything but I feel it's always appreciated. I think it's nice that people bring something anyway, it's gracious on their part!
Exactly. I could never be that anal to give a shit if something didn't "go" with what was being served at a party.
I am totally that anal.
I love to cook and host and I actually spend a good deal of time planning my dinner menus and pairing food for the main meal. I would actually be pretty annoyed if someone brought over a dish for dinner and it was a duplicate of something I made or clashed with my menu. I can't lie, it would irk me and I really wouldn't want to serve it.
However, I never have a problem if someone brings wine or a dessert. Dessert.......anything goes.
If I am a guest, I always bring some wine or a dessert because I too feel, weird going somewhere empty handed.
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| Posted 3/18/13 8:42 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
I bring a bottle of wine or other alcohol that I know the host likes.
ETA: My circle of friends is just happy to have food and drink. No fancy dinner parties going on here.
Message edited 3/18/2013 9:20:53 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/13 9:19 PM |
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rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by Jugglemom
It is all about knowing your audience. If it is a friend I will always bring some wine and maybe a dessert. If it is a more formal acquaintance or someone I do not know very well then I will bring a hostess gift and a bottle of port or something. A a more formal dinner party many hosts choose their wines to pair with their foods so I do not want them to feel pressured so something like port they can just keep.
Etiquette dictates that you do not bring food or wine but I think with friends then different rules apply.
See I have been to the type of parties you describe here and everyone brought bottles of wine for the host. There are usually 25 bottles of wine on the baby grand piano or credenza. None were opened , nor was it expected they would be. These events are usually catered, with wines specifically paired to the meal and floral arrangements are brought in or pre-delivered. I was always taught to not come empty handed.
Woah! Sounds fancy! My friends don't have catered parties or baby grand pianos, so for me its more like "Where shall I place this bottle of Barefoot Pinot?-in the cooler out back or where can I find a cup so I can pour this over ice?" lol :P
Anyway, I try and read the person...and try to be most helpful. If it would be more helpful that I show up empty-handed, then I do, and if it would be more helpful if I bring something, I do.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:10 PM |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: When someone invites you over and says don't bring anything...
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by Jugglemom
It is all about knowing your audience. If it is a friend I will always bring some wine and maybe a dessert. If it is a more formal acquaintance or someone I do not know very well then I will bring a hostess gift and a bottle of port or something. A a more formal dinner party many hosts choose their wines to pair with their foods so I do not want them to feel pressured so something like port they can just keep.
Etiquette dictates that you do not bring food or wine but I think with friends then different rules apply.
See I have been to the type of parties you describe here and everyone brought bottles of wine for the host. There are usually 25 bottles of wine on the baby grand piano or credenza. None were opened , nor was it expected they would be. These events are usually catered, with wines specifically paired to the meal and floral arrangements are brought in or pre-delivered. I was always taught to not come empty handed.
Alright I don't even know what a credenza is.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:36 PM |
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