please don't think I'm crazy

My mom has been gone for 9 years. I held onto most of her belongings. The majority of it is in my attic...boxes of her clothes, books, shoes, etc. All 'stuff' that will never be used again.

Since her death, so much has happened....I've evenmarried and had 2 children, yet in addition to the attic, still keep her belongings in inconspicuous places so that my own DH won't even know.....he would never understand.

For example, I keep 2 of her coats in the coat closet, some of her socks in my sock drawer, her slippers in my closet. I don't know why, but it makes me feel better knowing that her things are there. I know she's gone and this is just stuff....but it brings me some sense of comfort.

Nobody knows except me, but I'm beginning to think its time to let this stuff go. For heaven's sake...I need the room. I actually don't want to live like this anymore. Maybe one or 2 things....but not the 20 or so that I have scattered through the house. When my own DH askes what one of these things is b/c I never wear it, I lie to him and tell him I wear it all the time. I gathered everything to get rid of it today, but when it came time, I just couldn't get rid of it. Is this crazy? How do you deal with throwing things away that belonged to someone you love?

please don't think I'm crazy

First - I'm sorry about your mom.

I can't get rid of anything that ever belonged to someone I loved. I have pictures, knick knacks, and random things from 3 of my grandparents that have passed. I will box them up and put them in the attic or find a place for them. If I had more, I would probably hold on to more.

Maybe you could try putting your favorite things in a box and getting rid of the rest.

Re: please don't think I'm crazy

Re: please don't think I'm crazy

I don't think you're crazy at all. I finally sat through it all with my sister and went through each item one by one. We cried a lot, laughed at some stuff we remembered. We each just took some favorites and donated the rest. I felt some peace at least knowing someone else would get use.

But, I have still have my mom's slippers in my hall closet and walk around in them sometimes. Makes me feel better. So I must be crazy.

Re: please don't think I'm crazy

I don't think you are crazy.

My mom passed away on 5/25.

I am devastated. I sent her a few e-mails. Now that's crazy! It just helps to feel like I can talk to her.

Re: please don't think I'm crazy

I don't think you are crazy.
Like you, my mom passed away almost 9 years ago. I got married after she died, but have no children. DH and I are older.

I still have a lot of her stuff, and actually wear one of her coats, some of her scarves, a pair of gloves.
I did manage to toss her shoes, except for one pair that I can't let go. I remember when we bought them, 2 pair, one in black and another in brown. She is buried wearing the black pair, maybe that's why I can't get rid of the brown ones.

There is a plastic storage box in my attic with her clothing - anything that was stained or damaged was tossed.
Some other coats and jackets are hanging in my attic - I justify them being there that "one day I will wear them". It is a possibility, but not sure if it ever will become a reality.
I should donate them, but I am being incredibly selfish in wanting that no stranger wear her clothing. No one could walk in her shoes, that is why they got tossed.

Stuff, now that's where I have a lot of it. Mom was a collector of stuff, she loved garage sales and flea markets. Some of the "stuff" I use and is on display. A lot of the stuff is in my attic. I can't get rid of it, even though I know I should. I do have the room, but not the desire to sort thru stuff.

One day, just not today.

Re: please don't think I'm crazy

You're not crazy. I carried my grandmas coin purse in my pocketbook.

When my bag was stolen, I was devastated. But mostly, I was devastated about the cheap little coin purse.

It's all we have left when someone leaves. Their stuff.