Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

longtime lurker, not a big writer..but i feel so badly for someone I need to post and ask...

my mom retired from her job a few years ago due to disability. She stayed friends with one of the other woman there (large company, small office staff). As of late - the woman has been telling her all about how awful things are there, because she is being constantly harassed by her manager (my mom had seen the start of it before she left) - but now it's just terrible. She called my mom the other night and my mom had to call her back (she was eating dinner at the time) - and she said, she would've sworn someone had died due to the tone in her voice..she just sounds so upset and defeated & broken...

i can't find anything online to see if my mom can do something about it on her behalf...like report it or something (to whom??). the woman doing the harassing is VERY close to the owner of the company - to the point of rumors going around about them sleeping together - so we don't think if she went to him, anything would be done...

my mom's friend will never stick up for herself, she'll continue to take it and i just feel so bad for this woman. she's the sweetest woman you could ever want to meet and sitting here listening to my mom vent to me about it - i feel SO awful.

are there any resources - state or local (the company is on long island) that could get involved and do SOMETHING? and of course - my mom or i would have to do it - because she never will...so is that part even legal? Is this at all possible??

thank you already for even just reading this...if you can help - thanks even more..

Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

The friend HAS to stick up for herself. What I would suggest is give HER enough confidence to do so.

She should make a jornal of EVERY time something happens. Time, place, with who. What happened. This way when she SUES THEIR ASS she has proof of the abuse.

Otherwise, the only thing I can think of is call the state labor board and or department of labor. tell them about what happening and see what they say. But it REALLY is a legal issue.

And I hate to see her sit and just take it. But as a friend, I dont think YOU cna do anything. You can do the footwork and TELL her what to do.

But if she would rather take it than do anything.......there is not much you can do. Harassment is a legal issue. But start wiith the Dept of labor and see what they say.

Good luck.

http://www.labor.ny.gov/stats/lon/lonec.shtm

Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

Wouldn't the easiest thing to do be leave and find another job? I'm not trying to be snarky but that seems like the most obvious solution. Is that not an option?

Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

I would confront the situation through the HR department or whoever does the hiring for the company. I would mention if the harrassment doesn't stop she will seek council. I've been in that position, it's a crappy and can make a person miserable. She needs to get control of the situation and document everything that's happening. In the mean time I would suggest she consider looking for a new job. I know that this economy doesn't make that an easy solution but it just might be the only way to get out of the situation.

Re: Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

Re: Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

Re: Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

Re: Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

thats a tough situation. not having an HR makes it hard. she def needs to document it all

does the manager have other people she treats this way? if so, they should all document everything together and come up with a plan. if not, perhaps she can speak to others and see if they can give her insight as to why she is specifically getting harassed
get everything together and speak to a lawyer

sorry she is going through this

eta - ideally getting out of the situation is probably best but we all know that is easier said then done

Message edited 10/11/2013 3:56:30 PM.

Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

I was in a very similar situation (and I ended up being let go - I should have sued). I was being harassed based on my size (I'm a larger girl) and marital status (I'm married, the person doing the harassing was not).

There is very little you can do unless it is sexual in nature, based on creed, race or disability. Unless you can PROVE those things, for example if the manager just didn't like you (like in my case, and it wasn't even a manager) you are up you-know-what-creek without a paddle. I most likely could have gotten something based on sizism and sexual harassment based on the fact that it was because I was a married woman. I wish her luck before it gets worse - she needs to look for a new job - and it's important for her to know that it is ILLEGAL FOR A COMPANY TO PROVIDE A BAD REFERENCE.

Re: Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

Re: Workplace Harassment (non sexual)

I shared space at my last job with women in an office that was very toxic. My boss (who was great by the way) and the higher ups were VERY aware of the situation.

I was verbally abused almost daily, as were other employees.

It was not going to change so when I finally got offered a job for my dream employer, I got out of there.

I was not willing to go head to head with these people and risk ruining MY reputation if that makes sense.

I wanted to choose my battles and leave while I was ahead.

Ironically, I still do contract work for the company, but I look at it as helping out my boss, adding money to my savings and I have nothing to do with those crazy *******.

There's really one super crazy one but she gets other people going who feed into her nonsense.

I still have moments of PTSD when I think about what I put up with for so long.

Until you actually work in an environment like this, it's easy to say "just leave" or "complain to HR" but honestly, it's NOT that easy of a solution to do these kinds of things.

I was there for a long time, so like when you are with an abuser, you begin normalizing the behavior.

If the heads of the agency are not supportive either, it's a lose-lose situation.