Would you be annoyed?

My cousin is having a destination wedding. I'm her only cousin. All I've heard about is how she can't wait for all if us to be at her wedding and how cute dd will be on the beach. My dd will be 1 at the time. She just sent me the name of the resort and guess what its adult only. Its way out of our price point so we were just going to stay outside the resort. I was talking to someone and they said if the resort is adult only my dd is not allowed on the property, I called and confirmed this. I called my cousin and her response oh find a babysitter. Um what no?! And there is now way I'm going without Dh. There is a lot more background to the story but I won't feel comfortable without Dh and he refuses to let me go by myself as well. I'm just really annoyed. We are trying to figure out if we can afford to fly a friend out with us to babysit dd but it doesn't look like its in the budget. I'm getting more upset as I type especially since we were the only family members going, another long story and it now looks like none of us are going.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

If I was in your boat I would be annoyed and our whole family would stay home. I wouldnt be going without DS and DD and I wouldnt bring her and leave her with a sitter for the wedding. JMO

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Yes, I would be annoyed since she said that stuff and then made sure it was the complete opposite of what she was saying. Honestly, I would be annoyed but wouldn't go. I'd spend a week being upset by this and then just LET IT GO. her loss. I know not going to the wedding is sort of a your loss thing too... but save your money and go on your own family vacation if you want. If that was the situation and my cousin was being the way yours is, I just wouldn't go and I wouldn't care that we had to miss it. It sounds like you care more about being there than she cares about having you there.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Do the right thing for your family first. She is obviously thinking of herself only. I would stay home and just congratulate her with a gift.

Would you be annoyed?

Dh just said she could kiss his a$$ and we are not going. He said the same thing you did Bayside that I care more about being there then she does. I'm just hurt she has such a small family that you would think she would care about us being there.

Would you be annoyed?

I just wouldn't go. No big deal. Destination wedding (or any for that matter) to me are go if it works with your schedule/budget. If not send a gift and congratulations and that's it.

Not worth getting upset about IMO.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

i would be annoyed...and i wouldnt go.
there is no need to go crazy trying to find a babysitter or pay a friend to join you...its not worth it.
tell her you cant come bc of dd and dont stress over it
she made her decision about having an adult only wedding and she will have to deal with the consequences of people not coming because of it

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Don't go and don't stress about it.

If you really want to go, I'm sure the hotel has baby-sitters they can recommend, if you feel comfortable doing that.

But I just would stay home.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Re: Would you be annoyed?

I wouldn't be annoyed, I would just be sad. It sounds like you are her only family, and that is sad you won't be able to go because of her decision to have her wedding at an adults only resort.

There is no way I would have a stranger in a foreign country babysit my 1 year old and the expense of bringing someone with you, well that is alot.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Can you stay at another property and just bring dd for the wedding? I understand it's adults only and she isn't allows on property, but at the wedding even?!?

If no, I just wouldn't go.

Would you be annoyed?

I wouldn't be annoyed, it's her choice what kind of wedding to have. I probably wouldn't go though, unless we could afford to bring someone with us to watch DD. Maybe she can get an exception to have DD there. It's not like you will be mingling with resort guests.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Is the bride aware that the resort is giving you a hard time about DD attending the wedding? Sometimes you need an angry bride to call and complain to get the real answer.

If the rule still stands and you can't make it just go out to dinner with them when they get home to celebrate. Don't feel bad about it.

Would you be annoyed?

The bride is seeing what she can do. I told her we can't come as I don't feel comfortable leaving dd with a stranger and she said she wants us there

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Not even a question I would not be going. She will have to understand that she picked an adult only resort and your family is not adults only. Sorry! That would be a no go for me.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Re: Would you be annoyed?

I got into a huge heartbreaking ordeal with my best friend who had a destination wedding. Long story short, because I work in a school, I only get 2 personal days per year. She and I were getting married in the same year. I chose to use my days for MY wedding, not to travel to Mexico for HERS. Not to mention we couldn't afford it while also planning for our own wedding. Destination weddings are incredibly selfish.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Ultimately the bride wanted this resort and she knew no kids so she made the choice for you, I would not go and I would not feel bad. I would never fly someone to babysit for a wedding, Im not a Kennedy who can afford such luxury

Re: Would you be annoyed?

I think it's really unfair to say destination weddings are really selfish. The wedding is about the bride and the groom and if that's what they want as long as they understand some or even all the people they want to be there may not make it, I think it's perfectly fine. I think it's selfish to make somebody else's wedding about yourself. Original poster, I am not saying that's what you are doing. I would be disappointed if I were you as well. It sounds like you really want to go and the bride expects you to be there. Now that's a different story. I do think its incredibly selfish to expect somebody to go and find a babysitter. I wouldn't have left my one year old for several nights with anybody to go away for a wedding, I wouldn't go to a destination wedding without my husband, and I also wouldn't fly somebody out there to watch my child for a few hours. Any of those options would be a lot to ask. I completely understand you being annoyed. I honestly wouldn't go but I hope it works out for you. My sister had a destination wedding and she specifically chose a family resort because my brother in law had a young niece and she wanted them to be included. To the other poster, I am not trying to offend you. I obviously don't know the story with you and your best friend but I think honestly brides can be selfish whether its a destination wedding or not. Seems like weddings often times mean hard feelings whether its who is invited and who isn't, who is in the wedding party, wedding date, etc. I don't think it is specific to destination weddings.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

I wouldn't go, period. IMO she made her choice when she chise an adult only resort.
And what babysitter does she expect you to find in a foreign country? I woukd never in a billion years leave my child with some stranger especially in a foreign country. Get real.
Maybe if she has kids one day she will get it.

Re: Would you be annoyed?

Yes, I would be annoyed. I agree that destination weddings can be a bit selfish.

I would not be going either. Send a gift.