What keeps you going?

How do you keep going with all of the bad news, failed cycles, constant pregnancy announcements?

After yesterday's bad report, I am so tired. I'm trying to be positive for DH but we have been getting bad news every month concerning our chances.
What keeps you positive?
Prayer?
Friends and family?
Vacations?

I'm reaching here, ladies....

Re: What keeps you going?

To be honest, I can't even think of a response, but wanted to respond and pass on some love to you. I just started this journey last month and had 1 IUI so far. I go in for beta on Friday and am not hopeful -- I have taken multiple negative pregnancy tests. I'm not a particularly religious person but I have found myself praying more than usual. My DH keeps me sane and he keeps me going. He is an eternal optimist and always manages a way to see the silver lining. Have you thought about taking a break from TTC? Even if just a month to relax, de-veg, and not have to think about monitoring appointments, sonograms, injections, suppositories, etc. Sending you lots of

What keeps you going?

When I was first trying to get pregnant, I would look through old infertility posts. SOOOO many of those profile pics are now kids or babies. It feels good to know that people who struggle usually wind up with babies one way or another! It always made me feel better!

Re: What keeps you going?

only thing that keeps me going is my child begging for a sibling. I already had enough 1st go around. This 2nd bout of IF is so difficult between juggling childcare and finding the emotional energy to do this again. if it weren't for my childs deep desire to have a sibling, i would not be able to get past the stress again

Re: What keeps you going?

My friends keep me sane. Family can be a bit much, but my friends, especially my new friends who have been where I am, they get me through the everyday stuff. Without them, I'd be a basket case 24/7.

I have finally let go. Of everything. Finding a new focus (eating healthy, working out, spending more time with those who make me laugh) has helped a lot as well. My entire life has been TTC and IF since the day I got married. We are coming up on 3 years now and I need to have other things be important too.

I'll never let go of the dream of us being parents, however it may happen. I just have to put it behind my new main goal... Being happy where I am in life right now. Enjoying being married, Loving my nieces and nephew more then ever and celebrating my friends who are fulfilling their dreams.

There are days that I feel lost and I hurt. I let myself have those days and move forward.

What keeps you going?

Taking time and doing things for myself- vacation, massage, etc. Crying it out then getting back on the IVF train. Trying not to focus on everyone else around me having children. Praying to god- I'm not religious but I have been holding onto faith. Some days I'm positive and raring to go. Other days I'm so down and angry. And of course coming on here and talking with all of you. Because you GET it. ;)

Re: What keeps you going?

My husband def keeps me going and sane. He's def not one to give up so I look to him a lot for my strength. I talk to myself a lot and force myself to count my blessings even though we don't have everything we want. It's hard to do but it puts things in perspective.

The one thing I struggle with is being happy for others that make those pregnancy announcements or get pregnant easily. Why can't we get what WE want? Why is everyone else moving along through life the way they want but we are stuck in this hell? I guess I'm happy for them sad for us. I'm trying to come to terms with that but it's hard. Wondering if getting off social media for awhile will help.

One other thing that keeps me going are my pets!! They are my babies. We can't forget them! :hug

Lillies, hang in there and take care of yourself during those dark days. Sending lots of hugs to you

Message edited 3/5/2014 9:46:04 PM.

What keeps you going?

Uhh thats a hard question! What keeps me going is the CHANCE of having a child one day. I know I want to be a mom and I'm willing to work at it to achieve that. Its so hard because its taking so long and I don't know what the future holds but at least I can say I tried everything. DH really keeps me going. He doesn't allow me to be sad and is always upbeat. He believes it will work for us. He says someone has to be positive and if its not me then he'll be the one. Working out also keeps me going. It makes me feel good about myself and gets my mind off things. I try to think about the bad things in life and while this is TERRIBLE I could have it worse.

Hang in there. Our time will come.

Re: What keeps you going?

I really really want a sibling for my DS. It's tempting to quit after 3 losses but the only way to have a shot at it happening is to keep going and hope that eventually it will work out.

Re: What keeps you going?

I'm sorry but I have not found that place yet. This tww has been extremely painful this past time. I go for beta tomorrow but I already know it's negative. Most days than not it just feels like I'm in a dark place. I TRY to look on the positive side but it's been difficult. I know I'm being obsessive whenever I go anywhere and I see a pregnant woman, in my head I say wow I've never made it that far. I'm dreading going to my cousins baby shower in May, dreading it. I'm not a cryer except when i'm alone. I'm afraid that'll I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

I'm sorry I hope you find a way to cope and don't mean to bring you down even more, but this is how it's been going for me lately.

Re: What keeps you going?

Re: What keeps you going?

What keeps you going?

What gets me through? Right after a negative/loss, escapism. Food, Wine, Movies, TV. Then I am able to move onto friends, but only some because others really just don't get it. Then its usually the hope that the next time will work.

If I start thinking that it will never work and this is hopeless and try to start envisioning a child free life, I feel like I can't breathe and cannot see my future. It literally looks empty and stark. That is what then motivates me to get up and keep trying.

What keeps you going?

The only thing that keeps me going, is the fact that I simply can not picture my life not being a mother.

"Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it, and believe it is possible for you"- I have this quote taped to my bathroom mirror, and read it when I wake up for the day, and before I go to bed at night. It may seem silly to some, but it keeps me sane. I WILL become a mother- whether it's the way I pictured it, or not.

Re: What keeps you going?

Message edited 3/6/2014 9:53:19 AM.

Re: What keeps you going?

I agree with the girls who mentioned their DC. My DS saves all of his toys and clothes for his baby Brother or Sister. Makes me so sad but it pushes me to keep going!
I usually go for long walks with my dog or work out but this winter has been killing me. I do not tolerate cold well and with my Reynauds, I am just miserable. I am so looking forward to this Saturday and 50 degree weather!!
I am hoping this will work out for us but with my endo and my DH's MF, it's looking grim. We are just preparing ourselves.
One exciting thing for me is I am seeing Pat Longo in a few weeks who is Theresa Caputo's friend and mentor. She does a lot of fertility healing. I am totally not sure what it is all about but I do believe in positive energy flow. Wondering what she has to say about this whole ordeal!

Re: What keeps you going?

Posted by AKD

Posted by hoping2013

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

My friends keep me sane. Family can be a bit much, but my friends, especially my new friends who have been where I am, they get me through the everyday stuff. Without them, I'd be a basket case 24/7.

I have finally let go. Of everything. Finding a new focus (eating healthy, working out, spending more time with those who make me laugh) has helped a lot as well. My entire life has been TTC and IF since the day I got married. We are coming up on 3 years now and I need to have other things be important too.

I'll never let go of the dream of us being parents, however it may happen. I just have to put it behind my new main goal... Being happy where I am in life right now. Enjoying being married, Loving my nieces and nephew more then ever and celebrating my friends who are fulfilling their dreams.

There are days that I feel lost and I hurt. I let myself have those days and move forward.

You are an inspiration Phylis....thank you for sharing this.

She truly is and I couldn't be more proud of you P! And even prouder that I get to have you as a friend

Re: What keeps you going?

Posted by ANewDayHasCome

Posted by PhyllisNJoe
but my friends, especially my new friends who have been where I am, they get me through the everyday stuff. Without them, I'd be a basket case 24/7.

I'm so proud of you. You're doing so well with your healthy eating, working out, enjoying your niece and nephew and you still have your humor. Xo

You WILL be a mom. Just maybe not the way you always thought it would happen.

Re: What keeps you going?

Re: What keeps you going?

Hope and my faith keep me going.
At least thats what I keep falling back on.

(BTW, Pat Longo is great. She worked with/healed my cousins. You'll def learn a lot from her)

Re: What keeps you going?

Re: What keeps you going?

Posted by AKD

Posted by hoping2013

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

My friends keep me sane. Family can be a bit much, but my friends, especially my new friends who have been where I am, they get me through the everyday stuff. Without them, I'd be a basket case 24/7.

I have finally let go. Of everything. Finding a new focus (eating healthy, working out, spending more time with those who make me laugh) has helped a lot as well. My entire life has been TTC and IF since the day I got married. We are coming up on 3 years now and I need to have other things be important too.

I'll never let go of the dream of us being parents, however it may happen. I just have to put it behind my new main goal... Being happy where I am in life right now. Enjoying being married, Loving my nieces and nephew more then ever and celebrating my friends who are fulfilling their dreams.

There are days that I feel lost and I hurt. I let myself have those days and move forward.

You are an inspiration Phylis....thank you for sharing this.

She truly is and I couldn't be more proud of you P! And even prouder that I get to have you as a friend

Re: What keeps you going?

Posted by Hope2009

I'm sorry but I have not found that place yet. This tww has been extremely painful this past time. I go for beta tomorrow but I already know it's negative. Most days than not it just feels like I'm in a dark place. I TRY to look on the positive side but it's been difficult. I know I'm being obsessive whenever I go anywhere and I see a pregnant woman, in my head I say wow I've never made it that far. I'm dreading going to my cousins baby shower in May, dreading it. I'm not a cryer except when i'm alone. I'm afraid that'll I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

I'm sorry I hope you find a way to cope and don't mean to bring you down even more, but this is how it's been going for me lately.

Re: What keeps you going?

The only thing that truly keeps me going is the fact that i have no other choice. I could lay in bed all day, quit life, become completely secluded and just give up but thats not me. I'm a fighter gotta keep on truckin.