Mom's 60th Birthday

Need some opinions please - I'm an only child and starting to think about my mom's 60th. My parents are married but my dad would never in a million years plan something for. I'm thinking of reserving an area at a nice bar/lounge and throwing a surprise party for her. I'd get a cake and decorations but is it crazy for people to pay for their own drinks? Keep in mind this is the only way I've seen it done for this type of party. It's basically like any other night at a bar, except organized. Thoughts?

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

Yeah, tough call. I don't think you can really invite people to a "birthday party" and expect them to pay for their own drinks. Either you will have to pay for it or have a house party. JMO

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

What I've seen is a signature drink served - like punch or bellinis, etc. If guests want something different they can purchase at bar, but most enjoy the cocktail provided -especially for a lunch. Ths helps keep costs down but is still a classy and gracious IMO .

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

I think it's going to depend upon how you present it. If people think they are being invited to a party, you don't want to blind side them with the expectation that they pay for their own drinks. If you make it more casual - like send an evite or even just an email - that says "I was just trying to get everyone together to celebrate my mom's 60th, can you meet us at X?" I think people would be more inclined to think it's a night out with a theme, if you will.

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

Posted by Maybe-Baybe

Yeah, tough call. I don't think you can really invite people to a "birthday party" and expect them to pay for their own drinks. Either you will have to pay for it or have a house party. JMO

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

Posted by Maybe-Baybe

Yeah, tough call. I don't think you can really invite people to a "birthday party" and expect them to pay for their own drinks. Either you will have to pay for it or have a house party. JMO

Message edited 8/14/2014 7:02:58 AM.

Mom's 60th Birthday

Thanks everyone. I would love to have a house party but I live about 30 min (on the highway) from my mom and all her friends. So it would make more sense to have the party where she lives which only leaves bars/restaurants.

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

so I've been to 2 kinds of bar parties but they were for a 30th and 40th so a bit younger so I think it makes more sense.

for the 30th it was a t a local bar and the girlfriend worked a deal with he bar for a wrist band and all you can drink for cheap for a few hours. So if you wanted unlimited you paid for a bracelet for i think it was $30 and got unlimited bar. So that was a hit for the 30's crowd.

My friend just threw her husband a 40th at a local bar and the bar gave her a pretty good deal. The bar was open to the public but the people in the party got wrist bands to prove they were in the party. My friend paid for everyone.

I think you should call some places and see what kind of deals you can get.

a restuanrat may be the way to go.

for a 60th I think you have to pay if inviting to a party.

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

I personally would not make people pay for their own drinks at a party. If you want to host something, then suck it up and host it by paying for everyone.

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

I think your best options would be have your dad help pay and you plan everything. You can't have a party and just provide cake. For a 60th birthday party people want food and not just cake. Buying your own drinks is tacky.

Two options to consider are:

We are going to a 40th birthday party this weekend. It is a 3 hour cocktail party. Open bar and passed hors d'oeurves.

If you are looking to save money look into hosting a brunch. Some places have unlimited mimosas and bloody marys.

Re: Mom's 60th Birthday

I get that your dad may not be into the planning thing, but would he give you a check towards it?

I also think the brunch idea sounds fun too, and you don't have to really worry about a larger bar bill that way.

There are also some restaurants who will do around $20 a head for a meal and add on beer, wine and soda for a small charge.

What town?

I'm sure you would get lots of suggestions that way.

Mom's 60th Birthday

We drink but we don't need to drink when we go out. I would be happy with a signature drink or wine and beer. Actually I would be happy with a champagne toast and if I really felt the need to drink more I could buy my own drink.
My friend just went thru this in planning her sons christening. It was a brunch for a baby and her husband felt not providing alcohol was cheap. Sure enough all of his friends were slamming drinks at 11:30am on Sunday and most of them were there with their kids.
I think it really depends on your moms friends and your guest list. I would not find it cheap or wrong in any way if it wasn't open bar.