DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

She's always been very strong willed. Even as a baby she was colicky & cried a lot.
She just turned 3 & most days it is so bad.
I've been making a conscience effort since she was little to be consistent & firm to let her know who's boss without being too strict or making a big deal out of everything.
She's usually very sweet, compassionate & fun but almost every time I ask or tell her to do something (wash hands, put on shoes, get in car, even go play outside) she starts with "i don't want to" then "in 5 minutes", followed by a million excuses why she can't, along with a lot of crying, whining & yelling.
She'll tell me to put her in a time out which is why that never works. I spanked her on her butt on a couple occasions & she cried from the shock that I actually did that but then says it didn't hurt.
The only time she listens is when I scream my head off like a crazy person & I just don't want it to be like that.
Sorry for going on so long, I'm just wondering a few things..
Is this normal? Sometimes I really think there's something wrong with her the way she goes to opposite extremes in her personality.
Will it ever end? I really thought I was handling it correctly to nip it in the bud early but apparently not.
Any suggestions? Even though it seems like I tried every approach (giving her options, no options & just telling her nicely how it is going to be, making a joke or redirecting her to get her to do what needs to be done) but really nothing works!

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

Three is such a tough age. I am going through similar issues with my DD. I would recommend the book raising the spirited child. Hugs

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

I have no advice but I can say my DS is doing the same thing. He turned 3 last week and has turned into an entirely different kid. He's a nightmare. Fights about everything and he can be embarrassing too! He's rude and says "you disgusting!" to everyone, unprompted. I could die. I know what you are going through and I'm very hopeful it's just a phase.

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

my twins are 3.5 and are the same way. My daughter a little more extreme than DS. I've actually thought about getting her a psych evaluation a few times. She fights everything. If I ask her to do something and she doesn't want to do it (which is mostly everything) she immediately goes into tantrum mode. She kicks, screams, cries, whines. DS is the same way so i know it;s normal for their age. But then she bares her teeth at me and lets out this huge grunt or she'll go over to one of her brothers and just smack them, or pinch them and walk away for no reason. This is such a hard age. 2 was a breeze compared to 3, i really hope it gets better at 4!! You're not alone

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

DS will be 4 next week and is the same way.
Last night, he threw a tantrum in BJs because I went to collect his bugs and "broke his straight line" I actually heard a guy say to his wife, "are you SURE you want kids???" when he saw what DS was doing.

He seems to be getting better, so maybe there's hope?

He does respond well to talks. I take him aside (even if I have to pick him up and move him) and get down on his level so he's looking right at me and explain why I need him to do what I said. It usually requires 4-5 "good" reasons before he accepts it. A lot of times I need to change subjects in the middle of a sentence to catch him off guard. That seems to help stop his tantrums because he gets distracted.

Hopefully 4 is better than 3???

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

Posted by Eireann

Posted by FirstMate

I have no advice but I can say my DS is doing the same thing. He turned 3 last week and has turned into an entirely different kid. He's a nightmare. Fights about everything and he can be embarrassing too! He's rude and says "you disgusting!" to everyone, unprompted. I could die. I know what you are going through and I'm very hopeful it's just a phase.

I just laughed out loud at this!

I, too, am in 3 year old hell so I can commiserate. In fact, this is my 3rd trip through 3 year old hell. The first time it ended by 3.5; the second time, well, I'm still in it 4 years later; currently, we are 10 months in and I'm hoping pre-k will straighten his ass out

Good luck, mamas!

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

My DS didn't do this in his 3s. But he's 4.5 now and he's an absolute beast recently. He flat out says no to my requests, talks back, uses bad words. I'm at my wits end with this kid. I've always enjoyed my time home with him and for the first time I'm actually looking forward to him going back to school.

Re: DD fights EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

Glad I'm not a lone on this, thanks