Finding Courage to TTC After MC

I had a MC and D&C at the end of August. My period literally just returned yesterday. I spoke with my obgyn today and she gave me the go ahead to ttc after this cycle. I got the pathology test results back and there was a chromosomal issue. The dr said I should see a genetic counselor to go over the results and because of my age. She said there was no need to wait for the appt to ttc.

DH and I spoke and we are both on board with trying again. He made a good point that we both want a baby and we should go ahead and try, that there's always a chance of something bad happening.

How do I get over the fear? Of course I want another child and I'm ready but I'm terrified of going through this again.

Finding Courage to TTC After MC

If you're not emotionally ready yet, there's no need to jump back in right away. I had a m/c in March and got pregnant in June. To be honest I needed those few months to heal emotionally but we knew we wanted to try again right away. I took comfort in knowing that usually an early m/c means something is wrong and it is very common, much more common than you would think. It was just out of my hands. Many to you

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

Posted by Mrs213

If you're not emotionally ready yet, there's no need to jump back in right away. I had a m/c in March and got pregnant in June. To be honest I needed those few months to heal emotionally but we knew we wanted to try again right away. I took comfort in knowing that usually an early m/c means something is wrong and it is very common, much more common than you would think. It was just out of my hands. Many to you

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

I found fear never goes away. I do have fear but I also have a lot more hope everyday. Someone posted this on one of my Rainbow groups:

Pregnancy After Loss Mantras:

-You cannot steal tomorrow's sorrow if something bad happens, you're only stealing today's joy by worrying.

-There's no reason why I can't have a healthy baby like so many women do every year.

-Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

- I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

- My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.

-Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!

- Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

- There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.

Finding Courage to TTC After MC

I had two back to back losses. I had doubts but knew I wanted a baby more than anything. I took solace in the fact that I was able to get pregnant finally, and I just kept at it. Now I'm holding my baby trying go get her to sleep :)

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

Sorry you are going through this. Like some of the others, we waited awhile after our loss at 10 weeks.

Honestly, I don't think I ever truly got over the fear completely. For me, I guess I took the time off to allow it to hurt a little less and then just tried to hope for the best. I tried to remind myself, you can't get to the end goal of having a baby without getting through those beginning stages - trying again, etc.

With DD, I was nervous all along but did relax after the first trimester and then felt encouraged by the kicks, growing belly, etc. She is almost 2 and amazing.

I am now expecting again and at 9 weeks along, this is the same week on the calendar we lost the first one. It's on my mind but I'm just taking it day by day and hoping for the best.

My doctor was very clear that one pregnancy has nothing to do with the other. That helped me try to separate in my mind.

I hope this is helpful. Wish you the best of luck.

Finding Courage to TTC After MC

I just had a D&C yesterday. I am crushed, angry and terrified for the future but I am determined to start trying as soon as my dr says I can. As sad am I am I know that unfortunately these things happen and there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.

I don't think the fear will ever go away but I am just trying to have faith that I will be blessed with a healthy baby soon. I wish you the best of luck.

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

Posted by hopingforbaby

I just had a D&C yesterday. I am crushed, angry and terrified for the future but I am determined to start trying as soon as my dr says I can. As sad am I am I know that unfortunately these things happen and there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.

I don't think the fear will ever go away but I am just trying to have faith that I will be blessed with a healthy baby soon. I wish you the best of luck.

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

It is scary. We had a loss last year at 9.5 weeks and also it was found chromosal issues - that was after 3 years of TTC. I was devastated and it was one of the hardest times for me. We were fortunate to get pregnant about a year later. We were trying the whole time after - but I think my body needed to heal. That being said, if you are ready - go for it. It was scary this time around, still is, but I took it day by day and week by week. My RE and OB were great b/c they knew my anxiety was high due to what happened before and were willing to see me more often to keep me a little calmer. We waited longer to tell people, etc. You do what feels right for you - it is a leap of faith and scary after going through that - but you just have to keep going. Best of luck to you.

Re: Finding Courage to TTC After MC

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and kind words. I am ready to ttc but that fear is there. We will just take things as they come day-by-day.

Finding Courage to TTC After MC

I completely understand your fear and please know you are not alone and it is completely normal. I had 2 mc's last year back to back and after being tested, I found out I had a clotting issue. I went to a RE whom helped me get pregnant and I just had my baby girl this month. That fear will never leave but it is worth it to try again when you are emotionally ready.

After my second mc I took 5 months off so I could be emotionally ready and IT was STILL terrifying the whole time. Best of luck to you and know you are not alone!

Finding Courage to TTC After MC

It's scary and not sure you get over the fear. I am 21 weeks now and had a miscarriage abd D&C in February. Sorry you had a miscarriage.