WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

DD is 4.5 and every summer we go through this but now she's old enough to REALLY care.
Year 'round, her bedtime is 8:00, DH and I go to bed at 9:30/10:00 and we put our kids (DS is 2) down at 8:00 so we can have some "me time".

We live in a cul de sac and on nice nights we go out after dinner (6:00ish?) and come in at 7:30 for baths and bedtime. Well, school is ending this week and already the neighborhood kids (ages infant - 9 years old) are staying out later and later. Tonight DD was staring out her window at 8:30 watching her little girl friends hula hoop.

I've explained to DD that Daddy and I get up earlier than most parents (5:30am) so we are always the first to come in at night. She seems to understand it when we talk about it but it makes me sad that her window faces all the "fun" and I'm sure the neighbors all see her sadly looking out the window.

I want to stick to my guns (and think "why should I change our night time routine because the neighbors don't mind cutting into their "me time"? ) but I also feel bad for DD. On weekends we stay out a little later but I can't imagine having less time to myself on weekdays.

If you made it this long, bless you I don't know what I'm looking for here... some magic cure that makes my daughter not feel like she's missing out and makes me feel less guilty I wish I could tell her to just not look out the window!

Message edited 6/18/2015 8:49:06 PM.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

We were just discussing this tonight!!

I would stick with your routine. Not only is it important to have that "me time" but it is good for your daughter's health. She needs the sleep and the downtime before bed too. So don't beat yourself up about it. All through life she is going to see other people doing things she can but isn't or isn't but shouldn't be doing and will have to learn to stick to her own lifestyle. This is just teaching her that early. Especially if you are more relaxed on weekends too it seems fine.

I know it feels conflicting but I don't think you are doing anything wrong or should change anything.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

Maybe you could compromise and allow her to stay up one or two nights during the summer. Make them set days, like Tuesday and Friday or whatever...just so she can look forward to her fun-time.

I was just telling my DH this morning that I remember going to bed when it was light out in the summer. Being a kid really sucks sometimes

WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

It would depend on what the kids have to do in the morning. If they have to wake up with you and get ready for day care I would stick with the routine. If a sitter comes to the house and it's just you and DH that have to get up I would let them stay up and play with the kids.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I'm of no help because I let me kids stay up later. I get up at 5 am so I understand wanting to get some downtime for myself. But, during the summer even I stay up a bit later and I typically enjoy being outside with the kids and the neighbors. I would compromise and do it a few nights a week.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

If it's important to you and your family, stick to your routine. It's YOUR family.

I remember being a kid and going to bed in the summer complaining b/c the sun was still out.
My parent's were like "Too bad, Bed time!"

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

How much later do her friends stay out?

I would stay outside for at least another 1/2 hr - 1hr. solely because it would kill me to see her looking out the window at them.

WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

You have to do what works for you but I would probably let my kids stay outside a little longer. It is only a few months out of the year that it would cut into "me time." But with that being said I don't think you have to change your routine because others would. What works for one family does not work for another!

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

Posted by Eireann

Maybe you could compromise and allow her to stay up one or two nights during the summer. Make them set days, like Tuesday and Friday or whatever...just so she can look forward to her fun-time.

I was just telling my DH this morning that I remember going to bed when it was light out in the summer. Being a kid really sucks sometimes

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I probably would let her stay up a little later. It is summer and I would terrible watching her look at her friends. But I am a softy :)

WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I would probably keep the bedtime the same but My DS is a late go to bed person, always has been.

There will be times throughout life that we are going to need to just stand our ground with our kids so if you feel that the current bedtime is the right thing for your family then I would stick with it. Save late nights for things like the 4th of July etc.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by Eireann

Maybe you could compromise and allow her to stay up one or two nights during the summer. Make them set days, like Tuesday and Friday or whatever...just so she can look forward to her fun-time.

I was just telling my DH this morning that I remember going to bed when it was light out in the summer. Being a kid really sucks sometimes

I would probably do this too. Just 2, maybe 3 nights I'd let DC stay up an extra 30-45 minutes.

WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

My DDs are older (7 & 10) but we have the same issue. The neighbor kids play outside until 9:30+ some nights.... My kids have to go to camp or the grandparents house in the morning since DH and I work so we are always the 'not cool' parents making them come in. My oldest DDs room is in the front of the house and the noise is distracting so we put on the AC to drown it out. I say do what works best for your family!

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

Posted by MarisaK

If it's important to you and your family, stick to your routine. It's YOUR family.

I remember being a kid and going to bed in the summer complaining b/c the sun was still out.
My parent's were like "Too bad, Bed time!"

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I remember this as a kid too ...she'll be OK :)

I got black out curtains and put the air conditioner on ( even if not really needed) or if you have ca get a white noise machine

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I grew up going to bed before the sun went totally down.

I still remember hearing some of the neighborhood kids outside while I laid in bed.

I tease my parents about it now- but I lived with it

I created terrible habits in my kids- so they are up late even though there are no kids outside playing.

Keep doing what your'e doing! They'll be okay.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

Thanks everyone, great advice. I don't know why they designed this house with such low windows

We do have a sitter come to the house so the kids can sleep in, but their sleep is not my concern, it's my "me time".

Frankly I dont really like my neighbors so it's slightly torturous to be out there and hang out with them.

I think I'll continue to stick to the routine but be flexible on weekends and holidays.

WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

8 o'clock isn't all that early, imo. And she's only 4.5. And look at it this way - after tomorrow (or is it Sunday, I always forget), it will start to get dark earlier!!

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I grew up in a cul de sac too. My parents were the strict ones with bedtime, dinner time etc. I remember staring out the window at all the kids that were allowed to stay out. (My window faced the court too) I remember being slightly jealous at times. But I still talk to some of those friends we grew up with, and they tell me how jealous they were of my family because we had dinner time or our parents called us in for family time and what not. They tellus now that they would sit outside on the curb and hope to get invited in to dinner and stuff.

So I say keep doing what you're doing! I have plenty of fond memories. My sisters and I always laugh now about how we used to stare out the window.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

I lived on that block. Weekends yes, week nights no. Close the windows, curtains. Tell them tomorrow during the day to play.

Neighbors began to know too. "If your doors closed, kids sleeping." I think we were known as the early birds, I'm okay with that. They knew we were up early.


I won't knock on your door at 7am when my kids are up. So keep off my lawn at 9pm.,Honestly they all respected it. Keep to what works for you.

Re: WWYD.. neighborhood kids stay out playing after DD's bedtime

Posted by MarisaK

If it's important to you and your family, stick to your routine. It's YOUR family.

I remember being a kid and going to bed in the summer complaining b/c the sun was still out.
My parent's were like "Too bad, Bed time!"