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How do you feel...

Posted By Message

Joann
LIF Infant

Member since 9/12

360 total posts

Name:

How do you feel...

How do you feel when people who started TTC after you, get PG? What about people who started trying for #1 after you, had baby #1 and got PG again with #2 and you still have nothing?

I know I'm supposed to try not to be jealous...but isn't it the worst feeling??

Posted 7/15/15 9:16 AM
 
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BabyBearA
LIF Adult

Member since 7/11

1254 total posts

Name:

How do you feel...

Yessss!!! So many ppl are number 2 and I still have 0. It's a horrible feeling and so depressing!

Posted 7/15/15 9:38 AM
 

DaisyGirl
LIF Adult

Member since 2/08

1650 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you feel...

Posted by Joann

I know I'm supposed to try not to be jealous...but isn't it the worst feeling??



I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling jealous as long as you don't take it out on the PG person! Chat Icon I think it's natural to feel jealous or upset when people are able to conceive so easily and you are struggling. I know I did. Chat Icon

Posted 7/15/15 9:59 AM
 

MaeDe
LIF Adult

Member since 4/11

1169 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you feel...

I try incredibly hard not to be jealous but sometime i just have really bad days. My cousin is on her second In the time I have been trying and she wasn't even married to begin with. That was a rough one for me. And my best friend got pregnant first try hasn't even been married a year. I've been married 4 1/2 years. I feel like I have started to avoid people because I don't want to be asked when I am going to have a baby.

Posted 7/16/15 9:44 AM
 

Peainapod
Peanuts are here!

Member since 1/09

13591 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: How do you feel...

its a little different for me b/c I have one already, but I've wanted # 2 for a while now and had to put it off for financial and insurance reasons. Now that I was ready it wasn't happening. and may not happen.

So many people that had # 1 the same time I had my DS are now on # 2, #3, etc.
Im a little jealous when I see pics of the first child with their sibling etc.

I just have to move on and keep on trucking. Its out of my control.

Posted 7/16/15 9:46 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: How do you feel...

Posted by Peainapod

its a little different for me b/c I have one already, but I've wanted # 2 for a while now and had to put it off for financial and insurance reasons. Now that I was ready it wasn't happening. and may not happen.

So many people that had # 1 the same time I had my DS are now on # 2, #3, etc.
Im a little jealous when I see pics of the first child with their sibling etc.

I just have to move on and keep on trucking. Its out of my control.



I feel the same way. I already have a DC but we desperately want another one and it's been years since we have been trying. Most everyone that had their first around the time I had DC now have #2 & #3 and are done. It's very hard and IMO totally normal to feel jealous...I feel it all the time I just don't let myself wallow there for too long. Chat Icon

Posted 7/16/15 11:37 AM
 

Sweetlax22
LIF Adult

Member since 5/10

1904 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you feel...

It is tough. Not that I am not happy for them, but when they are on their third when I was already seeing a fertility dr at their wedding I do find it a touch unfair. I have actually pretty much starting dreading weddings too because I know it is one more person who will probably get pregnant before meChat Icon .

I just try to keep carrying on and focus as much as possible on what I do have instead of what I don't have.

Posted 7/16/15 11:41 AM
 

ggt08
;)

Member since 5/05

5208 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you feel...

Not going to lie - it stings. Especially when someone is on here for a hot minute and soon after announces a pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them but at the same time I'm like really? Why them and not me?

Had to get an MRI the other day ( possible ovarian mass- have had in past and surgery to remove) tech setting me up was asking what im here for etc. told her why and she's like, yea I get it, my husband and I were having problems. We did an iui and it worked. Again was happy for her but really? One iui?
I'm not going to beat myself up or feel guilty for how I feel- it's normal. And I am happy for all that have success.

I don't dwell and I move on but sometimes it stings more than other times.

Posted 7/17/15 11:17 AM
 

Peainapod
Peanuts are here!

Member since 1/09

13591 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: How do you feel...

Posted by ggt08

Not going to lie - it stings. Especially when someone is on here for a hot minute and soon after announces a pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them but at the same time I'm like really? Why them and not me?

Had to get an MRI the other day ( possible ovarian mass- have had in past and surgery to remove) tech setting me up was asking what im here for etc. told her why and she's like, yea I get it, my husband and I were having problems. We did an iui and it worked. Again was happy for her but really? One iui?
I'm not going to beat myself up or feel guilty for how I feel- it's normal. And I am happy for all that have success.

I don't dwell and I move on but sometimes it stings more than other times.



with DS our first IUI worked. So the 2nd time around I was sure it would work first try. Nope. 2nd try..nada. 3rd time..was the worst..nada.

I was spoiled in thinking it would work again. My neighbor tells me her friend got pregnant and decided she didnt want it and will have an abortion. and im like OMG dont tell me these things. (she was upset too b/c ultimately she adopted a child after numerous IVF attempts).

Posted 7/17/15 11:24 AM
 

JJ2014
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/14

686 total posts

Name:

How do you feel...

Jealousy is a normal human instinct. It's not that I'm not happy for the person but I want it for myself too! I just found out a girl near me is expecting. Only married a few months and wasn't even trying. When I lost my baby I found out another girl wasn't even married yet and was expecting (the same month I was due). I am happy for these girls but agsin said it isn't me married 2 plus years and older then both.

Posted 7/18/15 10:35 AM
 

gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09

27635 total posts

Name:
g

Re: How do you feel...

Just to show you how much infertilty messes with you

My twins (IVF after years and a million medical issues lol)
Are 2 and a half and I still cringe at the omg pregnant on our first try or we weren't even trying

It's just something that always stays with you. It changes you forever.

I hope you get your bfp!Chat Icon

Posted 7/18/15 4:09 PM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

How do you feel...

As if going thru treatments and or having losses wasn't enough.... Jealousy rears its ugly head... It's so unfair... One of my bffs told me she was pregnant with her 2nd when we were at a wedding. When I got home that night I sat in my car crying for about 10 minutes...

Posted 7/18/15 4:20 PM
 

hazel2
LIF Infant

Member since 5/13

346 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you feel...

It is inevitable to feel this way! I just let myself feel it, and I've had to turn down many invitations to showers, christenings etc. do whatever makes you feel good, or better and don't beat yourself up for feeling this way.

I'm happy for everyone else, sad for myself. What bothers me the most, is when they complain about the sex of the baby when they find out. THAT KILLS ME INSIDE Chat Icon

Posted 7/21/15 12:20 PM
 
 

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