Starting kids in daycare.....

I have been spoiled for nearly 4.5 years with my MIL taking care of my two kids (age 18 months & 4.5 YO), but she suddenly announced two days before Christmas that she can't handle watching my kids anymore. Needless to stay there was a lot of tears, a lot of yelling and of course trying to explain to a 4YO that her favorite person is no longer going to be taking care of her. I guess I'm still a little bitter that this couldn't have waited until after the holiday was over for this to be discussed.

Anyhow.....I found a daycare that will allow my DD to stay in her pre-k program in the district and they will pick her up on the bus and take her to the day care facility for the remainder of the day.

The hard part for me is my DS. He's never known daycare. I'm having a hard time with the realization that my son will not be cared for by family anymore, and now by a stranger, especially when my DD was taken care of by family her entire life so far, but not him. We start our new routine next Monday. I've purchased an extra lovey and blanket for him to keep there as they recommended, along with his sippy cups. I know there will be tears from both of us, but this is a large pill to swallow. Any advice?

Re: Starting kids in daycare.....

DD started daycare at 1 and it was definitely an adjustment, but I think it was harder on me than her. I wish DD could be watched by family, but that's just not a reality for us. In a way, I'm glad she is in daycare because she is learning so much and gets to have social experiences that she wouldn't get to have just staying home with me.

It's going to be rough, but everyone will make it through ok

Starting kids in daycare.....

No personal advice for experience but kids are a lot more rsiellent than we give them credit for. It's always harder for us than it is for them. Try to look at the positives. He will now be In a social and learning environment with his peers. He will have play mates and I'm sure it will be more entertaining and social for him than it was with your mil.

It will be ok. In no time he'll be loving it.

Starting kids in daycare.....

There will be most likely a one week adjustment period, but after that he'll probably love it. They learn so much at daycare and get so much interaction with other kids - I love sending my DC!

Re: Starting kids in daycare.....

My little guy who is almost 20 months was at a babysitter last year but this year I put him in a center/school. The first week he had no problems but then for a while after he would cry for a few minutes and then stop (he was 16 months). I just reassured him all the time that mommy always comes back.

Re: Starting kids in daycare.....

I wish I had actual advice to offer, but what I CAN say is just to remember that your kiddos have had a LOT of time with family and not everyone has that opportunity. If it was an option for me...I would be eternally grateful for whatever time I could get, but my kiddo is going right to daycare. Try to look at the positive in the situation and just know that there will def be an adjustment period but kids are SO resilient to things like this. Maybe more so that us as adults!

I do agree that a different time and place to discuss this would have been a good idea.

Re: Starting kids in daycare.....

It's a huge adjustment for everyone but remember kids adapt much easier than adults. Try to talk positively about daycare and make it a "fun" experience. Think about all the positives that will come from going to daycare.
Also when dropping off don't hang around too much. Give kisses and hugs and say I'll see you later. If you hang around too long it makes it harder on the child. Call the daycare during the day to check in. Any good daycare wants you to feel comfortable and expects parents to be checking in. Also expect there to be a period of adjustment and know that there will be tears likely. They may not come on the first few days but may happen later when they it sets in thy daycare will be an everyday experience.

Message edited 12/28/2015 10:24:29 AM.

Starting kids in daycare.....

It will definitely be harder on you than him. I always keep that in mind. You may be surprised as to how to he adjusts. My 18 month old was home with me over the last summer and then went back to daycare. Even though he was there the whole year previous, he had a week or so of adjustment. It won't be easy at first, but you will fall into a routine.

Starting kids in daycare.....

It will be harder on you then the kids. There will be an adjustment period but you cannot hang out at drop off. It's better to say goodbye and leave. The teachers are used to it and will be great at getting them involved. My son has been in daycare since 8 weeks and at just under 2 we started him full time. Having family watch him was more drama than it was worth.

Re: Starting kids in daycare.....

I agree - it is a tough adjustment - I just returned to work after a six month leave for my second DD. Now my 7 month old DD and my DD that just turned 3 are both in daycare.

While I was on leave - my daughter had an amazing time - we did so many fun things. Still, she asked me every single day when she was going back to "school" to see her friends.

For Christmas - we had three parties with family - she LOVES my parents and my in-laws and her uncle - but she had SO much more fun with cousins that were her own age.

It made me feel so much better about sending her to daycare. The interaction they get with other kids is great. They also have a great routine and you can tell daycare exactly what you want - more so than you can with family.

My mother-in-law would watch my kids in a second and my mom would totally do part-time as well. The financial cost of daycare makes it a VERY attractive offer - but I like daycare better. While both sets of grandparents love the kids to pieces - when they watch her for the day, they watch tv, don't always eat healthy foods and generally the grandparents wear out. At daycare my kids paint, go to the playground, have music time, read books, eat balanced meals and so many other wonderful things.

I think you may wind up really liking the change.


Hugs though - as someone who just made the transition - it is really hard.

Re: Starting kids in daycare.....

I agree that it will be harder on you than the kids. Are the tears coming from them or you? Make sure you aren't crying in front of them!

The teachers are used to it, so I agree with a PP about making drop off short and sweet. Even if they kid(s) are crying, you have to leave. They will cuddle the kids, distract them and before they know it, you're back.

My DS was with a nanny and we started him in DC at 18 months. The hardest part of the adjustment was his naps (not in his own crib), but even that was relatively easy. My DD has been in DC since she was 11 weeks old and has never known anything else. For both kids, though, they LOVE it now. The teachers are wonderful and they are learning so much.

Give the kids about 2 weeks and they'll adjust to their new routine. I promise you, it will be great.

Starting kids in daycare.....

Take the 18mos old 3x for an hour and stay w him so he can get used to it. Honestly I think it's a great age to start. He'll have a great time.