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MESal0820
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 543 total posts
Name:
Meghan
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Anxiety about buying a house
I am currently looking for a house in suffolk county. We live a two bedroom apartment with a two year old and another on the way, due in August.
We have found a house that we love, in a town we like. The taxes are higher than we would like, however not completely out of the range for the area. Not grievable. Also heat. It's a flip house, so bathrooms and kitchen/appliances are all brand new.
We do have a few concerns about the house that can really only be addressed in an inspection.
We are looking at some more houses this weekend and then we are going to prepare an offer, and are prepared to walk away after a certain amount.
I have an incredible amount of anxiety. we are first time home buyers. Have other people experienced this? I don't know if it's the unknowns or what but I am terrified I am making a bad decision.
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Posted 2/4/16 6:49 PM  |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
You're not alone! Before I got married I lived with my parents in a 2 bedroom co op. Right before I got married my dh and I bought a house. I never lived in a house ,ever. I had saved alot over the years and of course helped with the closing costs. I remember when all was said and done we went out to dinner to celebrate. I couldnt eat. I was so filled with anxiety. Thinking if we did the right thing, bought the right house, my bank account was so low. It was alot to handle. But I learned to love living in my house. But I know exactly how you're feeling. It will pass and everything will work out!
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| Posted 2/4/16 7:00 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
We just moved into our dream house in November. It is totally normal to feel that way and it feels like the whole process is just such an ordeal. I hope everything works out and goes fast! Good luck!
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| Posted 2/4/16 8:42 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Anxiety about buying a house
OMG i drove my husband insane with my anxiety.....it was to the point he was stressed out and he never stresses over things. It ended up being fine but even after living in the house for the entire first year I was filled with anxiety b/c it was the first time I was responsible for any repairs. It is completely normal to have anxiety.
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| Posted 2/4/16 8:45 PM |
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Anxiety about buying a house
It is stressful.
I do wonder though if you feel rushed at all with a baby on the way? I would just really think things over. It's likely to be the biggest purchase of your life and you have to be happy with your choices of course.
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| Posted 2/4/16 11:49 PM |
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Mtk1605
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/11 460 total posts
Name:
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Anxiety about buying a house
When we moved out of our parents house into an apt, we were terrified! We were scared we would be eating Ramen every night but we learned our finances and budgeting, then we got married and started looking for our first/forever home.... We were even more scared!it was a short sale but we were in love, we wanted to jump in with both feet, we wanted to live in this house! And we have lived here for 3 years and STILL think it was the best decision ever.
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| Posted 2/5/16 12:33 AM |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name:
Mrs
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Anxiety about buying a house
It is so stressful- I try and block it out of my head- we looked for 2 years before we even lived together then didn't find anything couldn't make the numbers work (we made like 2x more in 2014 than 2013) and then again for substantial raises in 2015. so we lived in our apartment one year and then FINALLY found a house in 2015. Worse process ever so I feel your pain!!! I would spend the money on the inspection and know it's $700 rather than 300k plus and it's yours! It's well worth it to need to walk away after that.
With regard to budget- I was so scared. What we did is "estimate a mortgage" say 2k and we paid $1225 in rent so each month we would save the difference in a separate acct to see if it was doable and livable and what it would be like before even committing to a house. Best thing we did for ourselves!
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| Posted 2/5/16 3:52 AM |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name:
Mrs
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Anxiety about buying a house
Double post!
Message edited 2/5/2016 4:03:54 AM.
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| Posted 2/5/16 4:02 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Are you using a buyer's agent? They can really help you walk through all of your concerns. A knowledgeable agent may also be able to address some of your concerns about the house.
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| Posted 2/5/16 7:56 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Anxiety about buying a house
Totally normal. We bought our house almost a year ago and I remember being so anxious.
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| Posted 2/5/16 8:32 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Anxiety about buying a house
Totally normal. We bought our house almost a year ago and I remember being so anxious about everything. We were coming from the city to LI and I was worried we were making the wrong choice, would the commute kill us (we both work in the city) would DD like it, can we handle the mortgage plus maintenance etc? Honestly it all works itself out.
One thing I will say is when we walked into our home we knew it was the one. If you feel any hesitation keep looking. We looked for a loooong time before we found the right house. Our taxes are also high but they were in the process of being grieved and we found out a few weeks ago we won and they were reduced significantly.
Why can't the taxes be grieved? Is the home on LI?
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| Posted 2/5/16 8:35 AM |
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angelicd77
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 794 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Anxiety about buying a house
We're in the same situation. Expecting our first in August! We currently rent a 2br bungalow and need more space. Our budget is kinda low and were having a really hard time, so I understand your anxiety 100%. were considering making the jump to the Carolinas because the cost of living is so much lower. We're not sure yet, but its looking more and more like that is going to be the best option for us.
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| Posted 2/5/16 9:55 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It is stressful.
I do wonder though if you feel rushed at all with a baby on the way? I would just really think things over. It's likely to be the biggest purchase of your life and you have to be happy with your choices of course.
This. When I was buying my house, I 100% felt that it was the perfect home for us. My anxiety was more about bills, moving in, what jobs needed to be done first, etc.
It sounds as though your anxiety is more about possible issues with the home. If it is only a town you like, and not love, are you sure you are not rushing because of the baby on the way? I would be weary of buying a flip house myself, so I understand why you would be anxious.
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| Posted 2/5/16 11:03 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
My only comment is about the flip.
First, your feelings are normal. Is scarey as SHIZZZ to own a house and really move on your own.
Second. Just be careful with a flip. I can only speak from my observation of TV. MOST flippers do things as cheep and cut corners as possible. Some don't. Just be aware of that.
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| Posted 2/5/16 11:56 AM |
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MrsP23
LIF Infant
Member since 9/14 232 total posts
Name:
K
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Anxiety about buying a house
We are in the process of buying a flip house which will be our first house also. Had an inspection and everything came up perfect beside bad landscape which is not a huge deal. With a flip make sure you hire a great inspector ours was there for over 2 hours checking everything. You never know for sure and I am still freaking out now about other things but after the inspection I feel like we got over the first bump. Good Luck!
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| Posted 2/5/16 1:48 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Totally normal! DH and I just bought our second house
Can you see your family liking it there? Playing in the yard? Going trick or treating around the neighborhood? have you mentally started decorating your son's bedroom?
If yes, than JUMP! We bought our forever house because we could see ourselves there long-term.
Message edited 2/5/2016 3:05:42 PM.
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| Posted 2/5/16 2:59 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Posted by Paramount
My only comment is about the flip.
First, your feelings are normal. Is scarey as SHIZZZ to own a house and really move on your own.
Second. Just be careful with a flip. I can only speak from my observation of TV. MOST flippers do things as cheep and cut corners as possible. Some don't. Just be aware of that.
I agree about the flip concerns. My cousin bought an aesthetically beautiful flip house, but issues have started to arise, some of which are safety issues caused by cutting corners. Have a great inspector and it shouldn't be an issue.
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| Posted 2/5/16 3:05 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Anxiety about buying a house
I personally would stay away from most flip houses. An inspector can only see so much when things are freshly plastered, painted, etc.
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| Posted 2/5/16 4:03 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
I was having such anxiety about our house, even at closing. I was second guessing the whole time. DH was confident and he was totally right. We couldn't be happier. It's scary pulling the trigger when you consider all the financial components.
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| Posted 2/5/16 5:32 PM |
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MESal0820
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 543 total posts
Name:
Meghan
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Thank you so much.
After looking at some more houses today we did decide to move on and keep looking. I just had too many questions. I can see where they cut corners, which made me increasingly nervous and unsure.
We looked at another house today that just seemed to blow it away - and while we aren't going to buy it, it helped us realize the first house just isn't for us.
I actually feel much more relaxed now that I've decided to walk away.
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| Posted 2/6/16 6:55 PM |
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MrsBurgos09
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 915 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Anxiety about buying a house
I could have written your initial post for verbatim... I am being told its very normal to feel this way and to follow my gut...
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| Posted 2/7/16 12:13 AM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
I was more terrified at my closing than I was when I went to the hospital to be induced with my first baby. Totally normal!
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| Posted 2/8/16 8:47 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Completely normal! We just closed on our first home maybe 2 weeks ago and it's so scary being saddled with so much debt and a house that you're basically stuck with for the next 30 years at least. I was WAY more afraid putting down an offer than I was at closing. Same with DH. We figured that anything that could've gone wrong had already went wrong at that point and we were very confident in our real estate agent/attorney (Shout out to Christine Braun and Kristen Breglio- you guys are awesome!).
We also had the proverbial sword hanging over our heads with a baby on the way. When we looked the market felt a little stale, too. We kept seeing the same houses over and over again when we looked online. Luckily, we trusted Christine to show us a house we generally would've overlooked and that's the house we ended up purchasing. Best thing I can say is take your time and keep an open mind. If it's not the one, keep looking. Good luck! 
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| Posted 2/8/16 9:23 AM |
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Posted by Momma2015
Completely normal! We just closed on our first home maybe 2 weeks ago and it's so scary being saddled with so much debt and a house that you're basically stuck with for the next 30 years at least. I was WAY more afraid putting down an offer than I was at closing. Same with DH. We figured that anything that could've gone wrong had already went wrong at that point and we were very confident in our real estate agent/attorney (Shout out to Christine Braun and Kristen Breglio- you guys are awesome!).
We also had the proverbial sword hanging over our heads with a baby on the way. When we looked the market felt a little stale, too. We kept seeing the same houses over and over again when we looked online. Luckily, we trusted Christine to show us a house we generally would've overlooked and that's the house we ended up purchasing. Best thing I can say is take your time and keep an open mind. If it's not the one, keep looking. Good luck!
Thank you so much! I appreciate the shout-out! 
I was also going to ask whether OP is working with a buyer's agent (not just an agent you are working with, but one who specifically represents YOU, as the buyer).
There are really so many advantages to having a buyer's agent, especially for first-time buyers. My clients know that I am on their side, and I will tell them the honest truth about a house (it's condition, value, etc). I can be a sounding board, they can call me with questions or concerns anytime. There are a lot of steps in the process, and it can be overwhelming. It's good to have someone with knowledge and experience to guide you through it. Most people buy one or two, maybe 3, houses in their life. I sell houses all the time, so I've seen so many situations, and I know which ones are normal glitches that we can solve, and which ones are serious dealbreakers.
I always sit down with my buyer clients at the outset of our relationship, before we start looking at houses, to explain the process, the potential challenges, the preparatory steps we can take, etc. Just doing that removes a lot of anxiety for most people.
Truthfully, yes - buying a house is a huge financial step (for many people, it's the biggest purchase they'll ever make). And it is somewhat anxiety-inducing ... I also bought my house while pregnant and before I was a realtor, so I can relate. BUT - it should not be paralyzing anxiety. Buying a house should not be a terrifying experience. It should be fun. At times frustrating and stressful, but mostly a happy and exciting time. If you are so afraid of making a mistake, then maybe you need some help. Have you consulted with a good mortgage loan officer (an actual person, not an online program, that can guide you on the financial end)? That, and a good buyer's agent, should help you realize that you are ready and able to buy, and make it a better experience for you. If not, perhaps you are just not ready (and that's ok, too).
Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need some help!
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| Posted 2/8/16 9:12 PM |
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Mrs&MrsK
i need sleep ;-)
Member since 2/14 2008 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Anxiety about buying a house
Posted by MESal0820
Thank you so much.
After looking at some more houses today we did decide to move on and keep looking. I just had too many questions. I can see where they cut corners, which made me increasingly nervous and unsure.
We looked at another house today that just seemed to blow it away - and while we aren't going to buy it, it helped us realize the first house just isn't for us.
I actually feel much more relaxed now that I've decided to walk away.
where r u looking (town)
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| Posted 2/9/16 9:27 AM |
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