LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

How old to come home alone?

Posted By Message
Pages: 1 [2] 3

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9511 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

I took a bus to the mall at around 11 or 12 I think! And I was a latch key kid in 3rd grade with my older brother who was in 6th. I think in 6th grade I will be okay leaving for short amounts of time - 30 minutes to an hour. And then in high school for longer times and evenings. There are a ton of break ins in the early evening in my neighborhood when they think that people aren't home so I would feel like it's unsafe for kids to be alone.

Posted 3/31/16 5:18 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by WonderLady

Posted by stinger

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon



Lol. A lot of these answers surprise me. By 13 we were taking buses to the mall etc.

Eta and it wasn't "a different world" back then like people mistakenly believe.

Imo keeping reigns too tight is a disservice to a child's greater safety.



Yep you are right. Parents have become scared of everything and the kids are losing out. I don't get how they will go to college when they have no independence and freedom before. We as kids were allowed to roam all over and yes there were "bad" people but you just used your common sense. No one seems to have any, anymore. Sometimes on those mom sites I wonder how some of these mothers even remember how to breathe as they can't figure out simple life things without asking everyone online.

Posted 3/31/16 7:06 PM
 

itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/15

619 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by EatingMyVeggies

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".





Chat Icon Chat Icon

Plus it was just on the news that so many sex offenders can't be located. Thousands!

I dont think I like the argument of "some people have no choice," either. Just my opinion. You hire a babysitter or some adult presence to be around.

But again different strokes. Do what u feel comfy with.



I actually DON'T have a choice as babysitters are expensive and as a single mom, the money isn't there.

But regardless... I was babysitting other peoples children when I was 12 years old. I will never forget the first night I did it... I watched a 9 month old baby and a 4 year old from around 7pm until 11. Put them to bed, changed diapers and everything.

So giving my 7th grader a key and having him get his 5th grade and 3rd grade siblings off the bus and them staying alone for an hour, is not a big deal to me.

Not really a "different world"... just a more transparent one.

Posted 4/1/16 9:38 AM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

There are many options for us throughout middle school. I don't see any middle school kids going home alone in my immediate area. 10/11 is too young, especially if there is a youger sibling involved (8/9 yo) I guess high school , but they get home so early (some days out by 1:40). I don't think being home alone / unsupervised is ever a good option and hope to always find things to keep them busy after school/ on days off. Some people say they have no choice, but again not an ideal situation.

In our case they have a much younger sibling, so the older children will never actually be home alone. The little one will either have me or a nanny home, so house will never be empty.

Message edited 4/1/2016 2:30:27 PM.

Posted 4/1/16 2:28 PM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by WonderLady

Posted by stinger

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon



Lol. A lot of these answers surprise me. By 13 we were taking buses to the mall etc.

Eta and it wasn't "a different world" back then like people mistakenly believe.

Imo keeping reigns too tight is a disservice to a child's greater safety.



Yep you are right. Parents have become scared of everything and the kids are losing out. I don't get how they will go to college when they have no independence and freedom before. We as kids were allowed to roam all over and yes there were "bad" people but you just used your common sense. No one seems to have any, anymore. Sometimes on those mom sites I wonder how some of these mothers even remember how to breathe as they can't figure out simple life things without asking everyone online.



Kids are not missing out by not being home alone for hours each day. That's just silly. My DH was never left home alone (his own entire family of cousins too) , they are all very independent adults that did very well in college. We all roamed the neighborhoods, on the weekends.

Posted 4/1/16 2:33 PM
 

limomof2
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/13

845 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by WonderLady

Posted by stinger

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon



Lol. A lot of these answers surprise me. By 13 we were taking buses to the mall etc.

Eta and it wasn't "a different world" back then like people mistakenly believe.

Imo keeping reigns too tight is a disservice to a child's greater safety.



Yep you are right. Parents have become scared of everything and the kids are losing out. I don't get how they will go to college when they have no independence and freedom before. We as kids were allowed to roam all over and yes there were "bad" people but you just used your common sense. No one seems to have any, anymore. Sometimes on those mom sites I wonder how some of these mothers even remember how to breathe as they can't figure out simple life things without asking everyone online.




ITA!! I just read In a moms group that she doesn't let her 9 year old out to play alone....really? It isn't a different world, there were always bad people the difference is that now we read every single thing on social media. My ds is 10 1/2. I leave him alone when I have to run quick errands locally and my kids (also a 7 year old) are always outside running between our house and the neighbors. And gasp, I sometimes let them walk home from school together. They know there are bad people and we have discussed what should be done if they are approached by someone they don't know.

Posted 4/1/16 11:28 PM
 

olive98
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/12

791 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.

Posted 4/2/16 6:41 AM
 

MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!

Member since 8/09

6631 total posts

Name:
M

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.


Exactly there were plenty of sex offenders when we grew up, but there was no registry so we didn't know. Yes it is scary to see them on a registry, but at least now you know. Statistically, there is less crime now. I babysat in middle school. I walked to school with older kids starting in elementary. I feel sad that my son won't have this. I want him to have freedom. I don't fear crime in our neighborhood, but I do fear distracted drivers as one of my concerns for him walking to a friends or riding his bikes. We don't really have many sidewalks.
As for options, I know our local library allows kids 5th grade and up to come hang after school and get their homework done without parents. It's right next to school.

Posted 4/2/16 9:15 AM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.

Message edited 4/2/2016 10:52:59 AM.

Posted 4/2/16 10:50 AM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.

Posted 4/2/16 11:40 AM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.

Posted 4/2/16 7:42 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.

Posted 4/2/16 7:45 PM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!

Posted 4/3/16 7:51 AM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!




Elementary kids always came home from school to an empty house, and not sure why it is so taboo now.

Posted 4/3/16 9:02 AM
 

HillandRon
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

2922 total posts

Name:
Hillary

Re: How old to come home alone?

My son is in fifth grade and 10... You have to know how your kid is. He is a very responsible child.... In our district you have to have someone home to get off the bus... I fact my bus driver waits to make sure someone is at the house before he leaves...

We do leave him home. By himself for no more than An hour or so right now.... I will run an errand or if I have to take my younger daughter to an activity. I feel he does not have to sit at her activities for an hour when he can be home doing the same thing at home. I call him at least once while i am out. Also unless he sees it is my phone number on the phone he does not pick up the phone and he does not answer the door....

I have not let him be home yet with my 8 yr old yet... Probably next year that will come...

i just heard from friends that their 15 and 16 yr olds will go in a group and take Uber to get them to sporting events at Barclays..I was shocked to hear this but you can't judge anyone. It's a different world out there....


Message edited 4/3/2016 9:37:28 AM.

Posted 4/3/16 9:36 AM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!




Elementary kids always came home from school to an empty house, and not sure why it is so taboo now.



Definitely not where I came from, which was a great neighborhood. My mom was a single mom with 3 girls, and we never came home to an empty house in elementary school. We had babysitters or went to friend's houses. I never had friends going home to empty houses either growing up.

Posted 4/3/16 10:51 AM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7721 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

I think middle school is the right age.
For me, that's 6-8th grade.
At that age, I was commuting to school for 45 minutes & coming home to an empty house (as well as all of my friends). This was in Queens.
I will, however, have a first grader when my oldest in in 6th. But when DS is an 8th grader, he better be able to take my 3rd grader in & give her a snack.

Posted 4/3/16 11:17 AM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!




Elementary kids always came home from school to an empty house, and not sure why it is so taboo now.



Definitely not where I came from, which was a great neighborhood. My mom was a single mom with 3 girls, and we never came home to an empty house in elementary school. We had babysitters or went to friend's houses. I never had friends going home to empty houses either growing up.



I can see you not familiar with that then. I never forget did but know tons of kids who did and they are all fine today.

Posted 4/3/16 12:33 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by HillandRon

My son is in fifth grade and 10... You have to know how your kid is. He is a very responsible child.... In our district you have to have someone home to get off the bus... I fact my bus driver waits to make sure someone is at the house before he leaves...

We do leave him home. By himself for no more than An hour or so right now.... I will run an errand or if I have to take my younger daughter to an activity. I feel he does not have to sit at her activities for an hour when he can be home doing the same thing at home. I call him at least once while i am out. Also unless he sees it is my phone number on the phone he does not pick up the phone and he does not answer the door....

I have not let him be home yet with my 8 yr old yet... Probably next year that will come...

i just heard from friends that their 15 and 16 yr olds will go in a group and take Uber to get them to sporting events at Barclays..I was shocked to hear this but you can't judge anyone. It's a different world out there....





It's not different as we would take the bus to the mall when we were that age.
I would allow my 16 yr old to do things in groups and have allowed them to go to the city with an older friend at that age.

Posted 4/3/16 12:35 PM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!



It is comical, some are trying very hard to justify leaving their kids home alone. It's not ok in my book. It was not ok when I was a kid either.

BTW, I'm in a well off area and there are break ins in the early evenings. Kids are not left alone in this area, I guess the parents have the means to be sure they are kept busy or have a SAHP.

Posted 4/3/16 1:20 PM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!




Elementary kids always came home from school to an empty house, and not sure why it is so taboo now.



Definitely not where I came from, which was a great neighborhood. My mom was a single mom with 3 girls, and we never came home to an empty house in elementary school. We had babysitters or went to friend's houses. I never had friends going home to empty houses either growing up.



Same. I grew up in Queens, no one was going home alone.

Posted 4/3/16 1:22 PM
 

blessedmama
LIF Infant

Member since 2/16

341 total posts

Name:
Heather`

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by Millie3

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by blessedmama

Posted by Millie3

Posted by olive98

Posted by BargainMama

I'm not keen on the idea of elementary kids coming home to an empty house (or even 6th and 7th graders). Yes crime has always happened, but I think there is MORE crime nowadays than there used to be. I would probably find a mom on the same bus route looking to make a few extra bucks, and have the kid get off at their house. Different strokes for different folks though. What one person is comfortable with, others might not be.

In my district there are several options for kids in middle school for "aftercare".


There isn't more crime nowadays, we just hear about it more. The 80s and 90s were horrible with crime.
For me crime isn't the reason I think this age is too young, it more because I think that at this age kids need more direction. They would probably sit around eating chips and watching TV instead of doing thier homework. But if needed because there is no other option, I don't see an issue with it. They are old enough in my opinion.



Agree with kids today needing more structure. I'm more worried about a kid getting hit by a car, hurt on his bike, getting hurt in the house, break ins, etc. What happens if a 9 -10 yo gets hurt in the house alone & the cops / EMS need to come? Accidents happen all the time, a 9-10 year old still needs adult supervision.




Things happened years ago too so accidents are nothing new. You can be an adult and have an accident.
I think kids always needed structure. That is nothing new. Parents now think they need to be on top of their kids 24/7.



Much more is expected of kids these days. Life is much more competitive now (plus safety issues of course)! This is the norm in my area anyway, but my kids won't be left alone for hours on end for a million reasons Chat Icon guess it depends on your neighborhood and what their friends are doing.



Yes, I can see that if you live in a not so nice neighborhood.



Actually I think the "nicest" neighborhoods have more break in's during the day.


This thread is actually pretty comical. I can't believe how many people are saying it's okay to have elementary kids come home to an empty house, or even have 11 year olds watching 8 year olds, and then trying to make the other people who think it's NOT okay feel like they are helicopter parents. So weird!



It is comical, some are trying very hard to justify leaving their kids home alone. It's not ok in my book. It was not ok when I was a kid either.

BTW, I'm in a well off area and there are break ins in the early evenings. Kids are not left alone in this area, I guess the parents have the means to be sure they are kept busy or have a SAHP.



Justified because there is no minimum legal age in NYS.

Message edited 4/3/2016 1:48:23 PM.

Posted 4/3/16 1:43 PM
 

Peainapod
Peanuts are here!

Member since 1/09

13591 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: How old to come home alone?

I think I was in 7th grade and started catholic school when I was coming home alone. If you lived nearby you were allowed to leave for lunchtime to go home for lunch (we had no cafeteria..kids ate in their classroom); so I would walk to and from school at lunch time (sometimes my mom would be home, other days she was at my grandma's taking care of her); make lunch, lockup and go back to school.
(somedays my mom was around for picking me up and dropping me back off).

My brother was in elementary school at the time so his dismissal time was a little later and I remember my mom having to pick up her friends kids. So I usually walked home. There were days I was home a while if my mom was tied up with my grandma. Sometimes I'd have to go walk and get my brother from school and then be home with him too.

I lived 3 - 4 city blocks from school so it wasnt far.

I think 7th/8th grade I would be OK with DS coming home and being alone for a little while until I got home from work. his catholic school has aftercare for up to 8th grade I believe.

But honestly, I think it all depends on the maturity of the kids. Some kids are just more mature / responsible at a younger age and could deal with it better.

Posted 4/4/16 8:31 PM
 

twicethefun
Loving life

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

Name:

Re: How old to come home alone?

Posted by stinger

Posted by drpepper318

not until high school



High school is when I wouldn't leave kids alone! I was in high school once! Chat Icon



Exactly.....

Posted 4/5/16 9:56 PM
 

MrsBumbleb
it's me

Member since 5/05

11234 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: How old to come home alone?

I think it depends on your kid mostly. My 10 yr old is allowed around the neighborhood on his bike and I'd feel comfortable leaving him home alone for probably 30 minutes. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him with his younger siblings though. I think you have to be in 5th grade in my district to get off the bus without someone there.

Message edited 4/9/2016 7:36:34 PM.

Posted 4/9/16 7:32 PM
 
Pages: 1 [2] 3
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
The old Home Depot and Ethan Allen on Sunrise in Patchogue 4ForMe 3/25/08 0 Families Helping Families ™
Our home is too small to host 1yr old birthday for family nywebchic 3/19/08 0 Business Helping Families
wow my old boss just called me at home - wants me back HarleyGirlFLA 9/28/07 13 Families Helping Families ™
4 mo old Englsih Bulldog needs home TODAY Jesaroo 11/30/06 1 Pets
Selling your old home, buying a new one BabyAvocado 5/12/06 18 Home
NFR 10month old boxers need new home... reggie 2/18/06 4 Families Helping Families ™
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 813277 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows