Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

My DS is having some trouble in kindergarten with his energy level and keeping it in check. Meaning he finds it hard to follow instructions sometimes and stay in his seat and on the playground he's getting overexcited and has accidentally hurt some kids (nothing serious- scratches and some kids have fallen down as a result of my son pushing).

I knew this would be a problem going in because he's always been a VERY high energy child. I've always thought he might have ADHD (more so the hyperactive part).

We've talked to him about keeping his hands to himself, listening and respecting his teachers etc. But it's January and we just got another call from the teacher. Compounding the problem is the fact that his main teacher has had to go out on leave twice to care for a sick child and he's had different subs each time she's been on leave.

I should also mention he's very bright. He's known his letters since age 2, taught himself to read last summer and is now on a first grade level and is so curious about science and the world around him. He frequently tells me he's bored at school and doesn't want to go. He never said this last year in preschool.

So my question is where do I go from here? Do I take him to the ped for an ADHD evaluation? Do I need to see some kind of therapist? I'm clueless but I want to start working on it ASAP so he has a good end to the year and so that these problems don't carry over into next year.

Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

Kids in kindergarten are still so young, it might just be a maturity issue. If you want to do an eval you need to go to a Developmental Pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist. A regular doctor or the school can not give him a diagnosis.

I would ask the school to give him an OT evaluation because he may be having sensory issues causing him not to stay calm (maybe he needs a fidget or a stability ball) and also request an FBA (Functional Behavior Analysis) so they can create a behavior plan for him to deal with the outbursts and inappropriate touching of students. Whatever you ask the school to do, make sure it is in writing.

Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

My dd is 3.5 and is having this exact issue. Yes, she is younger but it's the exact same behavior. We were advised to have her tested through the school district for OT. My nephew who is 4.5 was just approved for OT through the school district for the same behaviors.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

I have no advice, but I just want to say that kids in Kindergarten are very young. I remembered when DS was in K and was having some issues with another kid (nothing bad, but DS wanted the other kid to follow rules and the other didn't want to... and other stuff kind of love-hate relationship), and I was wondering and worrying a lot. He grew out of it and now when I see the kids in Kindergarten I realized how little they are and sometimes also very immature.

But if you would feel better, maybe talk to his teacher, or a school counselor or your pediatrician; they know better and they would know where to go from there.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

My son is a lot like this. He's very bright. Reads above his grade level. Just gets excited easily and is all over the place with listening. He is also in k. He has a lot of trouble waiting to be called on with raising his hand, stuff like that (but he has come a long way since Sept).

He is in an ICT class and receives OT (really for help with writing, the writing they are expected to do is ridiculous). His teacher sends me home a daily behavior chart (if he is really good he gets to pick a prize). This has worked wonders. I give all the credit to her.

I find it frustrating when the teachers just report the problem behavior, but don't offer solutions. Maybe because she is a special Ed teacher, she is trained? I don't know. But she was the one who came to us and told us what was going on (not listening, running around, etc.). She had a few things she was trying with him. She ran it by us first. One of the first things she tried was letting him walk around the classroom for 2 minutes (she had a timer). That worked great until the other kids wanted to do it too.

I would start with asking the school psychologist or social worker to do an observation.

Message edited 2/4/2017 8:05:51 AM.

Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

I am not a teacher, but I work in a school in the lunch room as an aide. I am with all grades but specifically 1 & 5 (lunch room & recess)
The other grades I just see in lunch room. I also have 5 yr old twin boys so I get the implusiveness & have had one of my sons on a behavior chart. (now off) I don't know your child, but can say there is a small handful that are DIFFICULT in K/1st grade right now & will SURELY be a problem next year. They just can't control themselves. They are young to be diagnosed, but I always say it's better to go to Dr. now & just check things out then to be surprised next year.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

I would make an appointment with developmental pediatrician to discuss your concerns. They can evaluate for ADHD. They usually have a months-long wait though so if you made an appointment now you may not even get the appointment for a while (depending on the doctor- the one I take my son to, last I heard is booked until August)!

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

I would get him evaluated asap. Maybe to you him scratching and knocking other children down is "nothing serious" but if you were the mother of the kid(s) getting scratched and pushed I don't think you would feel that way.
I'm in the minority but I believe by kindergarten they should understand how to listen and sit still unless something is wrong.
I am a girl scout leader for kindergarteners and teach kindergarten level camp in the summer so I do have some experience with the age group.

Message edited 2/6/2017 8:13:10 PM.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

At this point the teacher should have intervened and set up some sort of behavior chart. By this time in the year this is the exception not the norm of kindergarten behavior and it certainly won't be tolerated in first grade. I think the fact that you are reaching out shows you know this and really want to fix the problem! You should reach out to the teacher. At this age, the kids need immediate consequences so they learn and understand that this behavior wont be tolerated. Also, I don't think how bright he is has any relation to this behavior so I wouldn't make that a focus. Being bored is one thing, what you describe is another thing entirely. But, you can mention this to the teacher as well. At this point in kindergarten they should be in reading groups and reading books on your sons level. I guarantee you there are others reading on a first grade level and probably even those on a second and third. There is also probably enrichment work the teacher could give him as well. But, again, being bored might cause some issues but NOT the ones you describe. There is something else going on here.

Message edited 2/7/2017 10:14:31 AM.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

He's a kindergartener. He's not yet 6. I don't think kids in K are all going to be sitting nicely. Some will, some won't.

My DS was a total pain in K. He's much better in 1st. He just matured. We did everything under the sun with his teacher in K, but I think his first grade teacher giving him more responsibility was best for his behavior. He also is very smart and was and is in the top math/reading groups... his issues are just being a PITA.

As for ADHD, speak to your ped about it. Your teacher and ped should have a good idea where he stands.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the responses. I'm going to put in a call to the ped when we come back from Feb break and see what they have to say.

As far as an OT eval from the school is this something that normally the teacher brings up? Do I just call the principal? I feel like I would be coming out of left field because his regular teacher (he's had a sub since mid-Jan) never mentioned anything to us out of the ordinary. She said at his conference in December that he has trouble sitting at circle time sometimes. But she did not seem concerned or recommend services or anything. And she's been teaching for 30+ years so I would think she knows her stuff by now.

I really can't tell if it's ADHD, immaturity, that he's not dealing well with the constantly changing teacher, or something else entirely. I just hate feeling so clueless, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone and many other have dealt with this!

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

you could've been describing my son!! he's 6, and also in Kindergarten. at his conference in november, i brought it up to his teacher, because he DOES NOT sit still at home!! the only thing that keeps him in one place is watching his iPad. once in awhile, he'll get into a lego set or something... but its pretty rare. His teacher wasn't concerned, she said he's active at school, but knows when its time to work- he concentrates fine on his independent work.... i haven't gotten any calls about him hurting other kids-- except for theres one kid that he gets into it with on the bus, but that seems to be more the other kid than my son from what i've heard.
We just got report cards for second marking period. they rate on scale of 1-4 (4 being "exceeds expectations) he got all 3s and 4s. Except he got "2s" on "maintaining attention to teacher directred lessons, and "self control". again, i haven't gotten any phone calls, or been told he needs any kind of evaluation.... his teacher is young, but VERY good- so i'm sure she would let me know. there are only 13 kids in his class, so its not like she has a huge class, and pushes things under the rug. i'm hoping its just immaturity. and some of it at home i know is boredom. he's our only child, has no cousins.... and we don't get together with our friends and their kids a lot. so its always just him and us-- so i think he just acts crazy to keep our attention and have people to play with.
Since his teacher doesn't seem overly concerned, i'm just going to see how it plays out, and see how it goes.

Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

at this age with boys i think it's really tough to tell whether it's ADHD or immaturity. my son is 5 and although he just made the cut off for K, we held him back because he was much like you described your son, very active can't sit still and has trouble keeping his hands to himself. i chaulked it up to immaturity and i have noticed such improvement over the last 6 months.

it couldn't hurt to get him evaluated because you have concerns. but i can't say i agree with those posters who say he definitely has a problem because he can't sit still at 5 yo. IMO, that's a lot to ask of from a 5 yo boy.

Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

It is so hard for kids these days. They are expected to sit still for such long periods of time and their recess keeps getting cut shorter and shorter.

Re: Self control issues in kindergartener (LONG)

Message edited 2/22/2017 2:20:49 PM.