Another party invite question

Looks like for the next year either DH or I will be working every Saturday or Sunday. We are realizing this is causing a dilemma with birthday party invites. Would it be crossing the line if when invited to a party we ask if we can pay for our second DD to physically be there since we have no one to watch her? Unless the host agrees older DD will not be able to attend any birthday party in the next year on a weekend whatsoever which means probably no parties at all. I know this is a controversial topic but I am feeling guilt that we might have to decline everything we are invited to.

Another party invite question

I haven't entered the party circuit yet but I don't see how this is a big deal. If a parent asked me to include a sibling because they're in a bind I'd be happy to have them and I certainly wouldn't take any money. I guess the only issue would potentially be if the party place was at capacity? Even then, I'd still have them come and eat, get a goody bag, etc. They just couldn't participate in the activity.

Another party invite question

How old is your older child? Can you drop them off at the party? I found around 5 years old that a lot of the parents would just drop their kids off.

Another party invite question

I think it depends on whose party it is. I do think it's rude to ask to bring a sibling so unless it's someone I was close to I'd decline or get a babysitter.

Message edited 4/30/2017 11:00:20 AM.

Another party invite question

I think it depends on who the party is for also. If it's a clos friend, I doubt it would be a problem. But I would be hesitant to ask a school "friend" that you don't know too well. And if I was hosting the party and someone asked to bring a sibling, I would say yes and not take their money. But it would probably annoy me cause parties are so much money.

Re: Another party invite question

This depends on many things. For example how old are your kids? I have had many parties for my kids and nobody has asked to bring a sibling. They either drop off the kid and come back, or if they want to stay, the other sibling sits with the parent and doesnt participate. Its nice of you to offer to pay however its not really fair to the birthday child to have to share whatever the activity is, and also the host would feel bad when it came time to hand out favors, etc.

Re: Another party invite question

I just do drop off or decline...
Very close friends of my kids will invite siblings (as I bring them when I host and go to play dates... and always invite their siblings). Family, of course, invites both.
We have the same problem with weekends.
I guess it is those that invite both that really count.

Re: Another party invite question

Yes, it's crossing the line, and I'm very laid back about this kind of thing.

You don't know if there's a max number allowed in the party room, an extra kid may take time away from the invited children enjoying an activity - like if they were waiting in line for a turn at an activity, there's just a lot of variables that make it somewhat rude to even ask.

It sucks for your child to miss out on parties, but you can't expect to bring an additional guest to every party. I couldn't even imagine asking a classmates parent to add another child to the party, whether I was paying or not.

Re: Another party invite question

Thanks for your opinions. I think we should probably decline all parties this year. To be clear, I would never ever ever expect my extra DD to partake in any party activity, I think that would be outrageously innapropriate. My game plan would be to give my DD the iPad and bring snacks for her while sitting afar from the guests. I know sometimes places do body counts of the kids and may count her so that's the only reason I would be adamant to pay. I know it's an uncomfortable situation especially since we are new to town and don't really know anyone at all so it's a bad first impression. I don't want to be "that" mom that seems entitled and unaware. So it seems best we will decline. (too young for drop offs, babysitter not an option).

Re: Another party invite question

I know I'm in the minority, but I would gladly welcome a sibling if a parent called to ask. The more the merrier in my book and I would hate for a child to be left out bc a sibling isn't welcome.

Re: Another party invite question

I am also usually very laid back about this type of stuff but I would never ask to bring one of my other children (and I have twins). Because really would the host ever say no (probably not) and would they really take your money ( probably not)? You couldbe putting them in a very awkward situation especially if you don't know them well.

Maybe if you have enough notice, either you or DH could consider changing your work schedule that one Sat or Sun. I don't know if this is an option, but just thinking maybe she could get one party in.

The only other option might be if she has a best friend in class, maybe that parent wouldn't mind keeping an eye on her for the 3 hours of the party? Just an idea.

Re: Another party invite question

Re: Another party invite question

you can see once the school year develops whether you become friendly with another parent that can "watch" your invited dd while at the party, obviously if their dc is also attending.

Message edited 4/30/2017 9:02:17 PM.

Re: Another party invite question

Re: Another party invite question

Re: Another party invite question

Another party invite question

If you have the ability to bring you other DC and they will sit and not partake in the party I do not see that as a problem. Most party places have some sort of a waiting area for parents. If she is clearly not participating in the party then the host should not be made to pay for her.

Another party invite question

One mom asked me if she could could bring her younger son to my DS 3rd birthday party and I honestly did not mind it.

The worst they could say is no and then you just say you cannot attend due to childcare issues.

Message edited 5/1/2017 11:17:22 AM.

Re: Another party invite question

Re: Another party invite question

We are in your same boat a lot because my husband works weekends. I would never have a problem with anybody asking or bringing their other child. Whenever I know about siblings, I try to extend to siblings as well because my daughter would rather have her friend there than have him or not be able to make it because one parent works. That being said, I would never feel comfortable asking to bring my other child. I usually decline or get a babysitter for my other daughter. I have been lucky too where a few of the parents I am friendly with have invited both kiddos. We also have had parents bring other children to my daughters party and just keep them with them and not participate. I don't have an issue with that ether but I imagine some would. I would just do what you are comfortable with. There are always going to be some that disagree with your choices.

Re: Another party invite question

I think it depends on the venue and your relationship with the host. I've had people ask, I've specifically told parents certain older siblings or younger siblings who are friends with my other child are welcome, I've had people show up with siblings unexpectedly with most insisting on paying for them and in venues that have additional areas to play besides parties (trampoline places, arcade type places, bowling alleys, etc), parents have brought siblings, paid for them and kept them separate from the party. I would make the decision based on that particular party, not just have a blanket rule one way or the other.