At what point do I fire my nanny?

We have had a woman working for us for 8 months. She started when my youngest son was 3 months old. At first she was great - got him to take a bottle, helped me out with laundry, stuff around the house, etc. This was when he was a very sleepy newborn. And he is super easy - doesn't cry much, content playing on his own. He is my third and compared to the other two as babies, a total dream.

I should mention she is older, in her mid sixties. She is from Brazil. Her english is good but not perfect.

Things started going downhill this summer when she had my 3 year old home at the same time, and occasionally my 6 year old as well.

My more minor gripes:
- She doesn't follow my rules on no tv and healthy eating. She will give my kids mac n cheese, gatorade (stuff I never give them and reserve for emergencies but they know they can trick her into giving them) unless I specifically state in my note to her every day they can't have it.
- She will let the kids take up toys from the basement playroom and not put them away before she leaves even if I specifically tell her to make sure all the toys are cleaned up

More major gripes:
- Twice I came home to her sitting in my daughter's room (age 3) watching my daughter open each bottle of nail polish and sniff them. After that, I hid the nail polish and told her she was NOT allowed to touch the nail polish. One week later, she allowed my daughter to polish her nails herself and my daughter got nail polish all over her furniture. More concerned with the lack of judgment that would allow a child to sniff toxic fumes.
- Once I came home to my 3 and 6 year old having thrown tiny foam stickers all over the kitchen (choking hazard sized). Not only were they all over the place, some stuck to the floor, but my daughter had also colored all over her body in marker. The next day I found several foam stickers in my infants' poop! She just doesn't seem on top of these types of things enough.
- The baby has some severe food allergies. I'm concerned if he had a reaction she would panic and not know what to do, even though I showed her how to use the epi pen.

As I am typing this I'm feeling a little ridiculous to even be asking whether I should fire her. The problem is that my kids adore her (well - my 6 year old loves her bc she doesn't discipline him and lets him do and eat whatever he wants - like an entire pizza for lunch yesterday). She is very warm and loving, I just question her judgment and competence. I also share her with a friend and that will be super awkward at preschool pickup. Advice mamas?!

Message edited 8/30/2017 9:10:08 PM.

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Seems like you already know the answer. Sorry

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Posted by BananaJacks

Seems like you already know the answer. Sorry

At what point do I fire my nanny?

Agree with the posters above. I think 3 kids is VERY tough to manage for someone that age (not to generalize). My mom sometimes watches my two boys (2.5 and 10 months) and my nephew (7) and on those days she is really wiped out (and she's in pretty good shape for 63). It's just almost impossible to have eyes on everything. I think I could live with the minor gripes you posted and my son coloring on himself (my 2.5 year old is covered in crayola daily), but the nail polish and foam eating is a giant red flag to me. Toxic and a choking hazard. You have to trust your gut. And it doesn't have to be ackward. Just tell you her your needs have changed.

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

3 kids is tough. My MIL has a tough time with my 3 guys. Hell, I wanna rip my out after a long day. The stickers in the poop would be my final straw. Especially since he has severe food allergies. I know it's not food, but what if it was the glue or something he had a reaction to? No bueno.

DH would've been done the moment there was nail polish on the dresser. Just seems like a lack of supervision. Sorry.

At what point do I fire my nanny?

At the point that your baby sh!ts stickers. That's when you fire her.

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

At what point do I fire my nanny?

You are way more forgiving than I would be. I would probably have let her go over the minor gripes, but as others have said infant pooping stickers means it's time to go!

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

It sounds like she can't keep up. One elder person with 3 kids is not exactly ideal. I think your needs HAVE changed as the kids and baby have gotten older and are a new job for her. During the summer, you may need to have two people... maybe a mother's helper... even with a new person.

As for your minor stuff, you need to take the stuff that you don't want the kids to have access to (nail polish, food, Gatorade, stickers) and put them out of reach and sight.

It's never an easy thing to fire someone... but better early than when something goes really wrong.

At what point do I fire my nanny?

Yesterday.

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

i didn't even read past her giving your kids food you don't allow....FIRE HER A$$!

Re: At what point do I fire my nanny?

Before I got to the sticker eating part, I was a bit sympathetic to the nanny. I was a SAHM for three years and being home with three kids is HARD. Now that I am a working parent, it would be easy to say not to use tv or occasional junk food, but as the person who was home all day and losing my mind, i remember how easy it was to occasionally give in just to keep sane.

HOWEVER. Sticker eating. Baby. NOT OK!!!!!!