Re: Holding back for K

My oldest has a mid December birthday and our cutoff is January 1. I struggled with the decision about sending him because while I knew he was academically ready, I worried about maturity especially knowing he’d be with kids well over a year older than him. I decided to send him and I’m so glad I did. He was already a bit bored in K. I think waiting another year would’ve made him more bored and unfocused in class. He’s in 4th grade now and doing great. He’s one of the strongest readers, in the gifted math program, has no trouble making friends and doesn’t have any behavioral issues. He’s still very small for his age. This is the first year he’s above the 10th percentile for height. He’s really athletic though and plays multiple sports.

In the end, you know your child best. I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule about whether to send or hold back if your child is on the younger side. If my middle one had a fall birthday instead of a summer one, I probably would’ve held him back. Each child is different. I would definitely have lengthy discussions with the preschool teacher and even teacher friends and your pediatrician about your child in particular and what things to look for in making the decision.

Re: Holding back for K

Re: Holding back for K

Definitely go with your gut as you know what is best for your child but give weight to your child's teachers recommendations as they spend time with your child and know how he compares to other children his same age.

A lot of people comment that their child would've been bored had they started K later but 8-10 weeks (for a child wih an Oct bday) or so in age difference isn't going to make a huge difference compared to those kids who happen to have a bday close to the cutoff and start the following year; surely they aren't particularly bored bc they didn't go to K until the following year.

We made the decision to hold our son back when he first started school in the 2's program. We wanted him to start and continue with the same cohort from nursery school through going into K. He was born 6 days before the cutoff. My son isn't going to be more bored than another child 6 days younger than him who happens to be in the same grade bc we decided to hold him back. Our cutoff is Sept 1st and there are children with March/April bdays who are held an extra year before K. That factored slightly into our decision as I didn't want my son to be the youngest by possibly up to 16 months bc of these children - I felt this would be unfair to him.

We live OOS and my DS1 started K one year later here than he would have had we stayed in NY. He did Pre-K in NY and would've gone to K had we not moved prior to the start of K. Bc there is an earlier cutoff here, he was not allowed to start K and had to do another year of pre-K. It's been a great thing for him and he's not bored even though he tested as gifted. I enjoyed my extra year with him immensely and he has benefitted from the extra year of development. K is not what it used to be.

Holding back for K

My dd has a late November bday and started K at 4.. Of course, I felt she was too little and worried about maturity - but so glad I sent her. I couldn't imagine her in preK for a full other year. She definitely would have been bored! My younger DD has a December bday and missed the cut off.. she has delays so it was probably for the best but I even think she could have handled it.

My DD is in 3rd now and I couldn't imagine her being a year behind. She has kids in her class that was held back and a year older than the other kids and sometimes I feel like they seem more misplaced - just bc of size and even maturity.

Re: Holding back for K

Re: Holding back for K

OP: go visit your school district and ask for starting ages for K. Even this data will be skewed (my son had his birthday a few days before the start of school which is different than a January birthday).

In my son’s class alone, half of the boys were redshirted. There certainly is not any stigma to redshirt and it’s really common in our district.

I’m not saying something is right or wrong. Just know your district details.

Re: Holding back for K

My DS is an October birthday and we held him back. I don't regret it at all. He simply was not ready to start kindergarten at 4. His preschool teacher suggested it and we agreed. He is a smart kid but he was not ready for the academic demands of Kindergarten. The extra year made a big difference for him.

I hate the term red shirting because, to me, it implies holding them back to give them an advantage for sports reasons. Maybe I'm wrong but that's where I've heard it used. We simply made what we felt was the best decision for our child.

Re: Holding back for K

Another perspective:

My DD's birthday is June 5th so she is always the very youngest in her class. (we live in South FL)

My gut when she was young was that she wasn't ready academically--but we started her in school according to her birthday--and I'v regretted it ever since. She's 8.5 now and she's been struggling with school from the get-go.

It would be too hard on her emotionally now to be held back, especially because her brother is in the grade behind her. So we're doing everything we can to push through, and she's actually been doing great! But I can't help but think that if we held her back for a year back in the pre-school days, we would have been on an easier road now.

My son, on the other hand, is also a June baby--June 28th--so he's also ALWAYS one of the youngest in his class. But he's always flourished in school, so starting him late was never even a consideration.

So it all depends on the kid. My advice to you is to go with your gut instinct. That's all you can do sometimes as a mother.

Re: Holding back for K

I would really think about this before doing it. All the positive feedback on this thread is from people who still have very young kids where age still impacts performance. There have been many articles published and studies done that show the long term effects on red-shirted kids is very bad. I would do my research.

Also be aware that because of the current climate many things are now going by age rather than grade. Soccer and baseball for example now go by age. My DS had friends that stopped playing sports because they can't be on a team with their friends and have to "play up." Also, many cognitive abilities tests for gifted talented and advanced placement are now norming by age to account for red-shirting. I would talk to more than just elementary age parents and teachers and really get the whole picture.

Re: Holding back for K

That’s interesting because I’ve been doing some research on cut off dates in other states and in 42 other states he would not make the cut off so this wouldn’t even be a question for me. I’ll have to look into it some more.

I’m also not going to let sports play any role into what I think my son needs academically and emotionally.

Re: Holding back for K

Re: Holding back for K

Re: Holding back for K