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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by KirR
Keep documenting everything to file, keep copies at home and at work, no matter how small the occurrence. And keep looking for a new job. It takes time but it will happen. Reach out to recruiters, update your linked in account, set up accounts on job boards. Think about how your skills can translate to another field. The right situation is out there and coming your way.
Thank you so much for your response. I hate being made to feel like a dumba$$ at work. I feel like I'm being gaslighted and now it's making me question whether I have good judgement.
*fingers crossed* that something comes my way soon!!
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Posted 5/14/18 8:45 AM  |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
I'm sorry she did that to you.
Don't doubt yourself and your ability, she is just manipulating you to feel this way.
Just take this experience as a warning if she asks you to do something like this again. She asked you to do her work. If you refuse to do it, she would have a hard time justifying a warning for you refusing to do her work.
What a nut job this lady is.
Hang in there. Believe in Karma.
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| Posted 5/14/18 9:19 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
She just replied to an email about a student that took her final late and the faculty let us know her grade. My boss replied that the student can pick up the diploma from her and said that she'd submit the info to the Board of Nursing. It made me laugh out loud b/c it felt like a dig at me and how petty her life must be to take cheap shots at people that work for her.
I ended up looking up "gaslighting" and the types of people that do it and honestly, I think she has narcissistic tendencies - wanting me to run everything by her, making me feel incompetent, yelling at me when I take her off guard, yelling at me when I'm trying to help but it's something that makes her feel incompetent, etc.
It actually makes me feel a little better about my situation. Maybe I'm delusional to try to blame her horrible actions on her being mentally unstable, but at least it helps me to not think *I'm* the bad one. It still sucks that she's my boss and makes my life hell right now, but I just laughed at her petty little dig today instead of feeling badly about myself and that's a step in the right direction for my sanity!
Message edited 5/14/2018 12:21:06 PM.
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:19 PM |
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KirR
LIF Infant
Member since 1/09 146 total posts
Name:
K.
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Glad I could help. I've been in your shoes and it sucks. No one should have to go to work and be abused on a daily basis. It creeps into every aspect of your life, making you crazy, causing you to question yourself at every turn.
She is a toxic person and your company is toxic for allowing this behavior vin a supervisor.
You need to do what is best for you but I'd get out of there ASAP. Every job and company has good and bad aspects but none should be abusive. Clean break and a fresh start in a new company.
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| Posted 5/14/18 3:52 PM |
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noworlater
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1528 total posts
Name:
Now!
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Pumpkin1
There are lots of problems with this update:
1. Your boss is wrong because you have the right to use sick days to care for your sick kid and you shouldn't be written up about that. For something like this, I would go to HR to complain. Also, find out if there are procedures in place for calling in sick because being required to call her at 1 a.m. does not sound reasonable. (Limit your complaint to this one issue and don't bring up the other issues.)
2. I can't really say anything about the "team player" comment.
3. You do not have to disclose that you are seeing a therapist and, unless she specifically approved your adjusted schedule, she is right. Talk to your therapist about being more flexible with appointments (evening, etc.) because you are getting in trouble at work. If the therapist won't accommodate, get yourself a new therapist.
4. Will you get a copy of the report and will you have an opportunity to respond?
I agree with all this!
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| Posted 5/16/18 7:58 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lightblue
Wow she sounds like a piece of work. I hope you find something else soon so that you can get out of that toxic environment... I don't make a lot of money but I am thankful my boss is flexible, knowing of my situation (2 kids, 1 with special needs). I couldn't imagine getting written up because I couldn't come in when my kid was sick.
today I got an email at 8 am from one of my direct reports. (She starts at 930 am). It said, Hi, my daughter woke up with a sore throat and a fever, may I please work from home today?
My response- Of course. I hope you daughter feels better.
OP- if you were in NY, I'd offer you a job!
Can you offer me a job? I am in a situation very similar to the OP. 
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| Posted 5/17/18 10:53 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
I just had my annual review and of course it was bad. She gave me "below expectations" on a certain section and one of her examples was that I was supposed to meet with her to talk about enrollment agreements. We have a meeting scheduled for it tomorrow. When I said that, she got angry and said that we should have already met about it.
She marked me down as below in another section b/c of something that was a misunderstanding that we had already discussed. Since she marked me down as below in 2 sections - that resulted in an overall evaluation as below (even though the other 15+ sections were meets or exceeds). That results in my not getting a raise this year.
I knew it was going to be bad b/c she's so awful, but her coming up with BS stuff like not meeting until tomorrow takes me off guard. So now I have to meet with her monthly and document everything I'm doing b/c she thinks I have follow thru issues.
I was afraid that she was going to submit a warning - and that makes it impossible for me to get a job at the university until after 6 months. I called HR as soon as I left and they said I didn't get a warning so I'm ok.
On the plus side ...... I FINALLY got a call from a job that I applied to in April and I'll have a phone interview scheduled for next week! Out of all the jobs I've applied to, this is the one I'm most interested in. OMG - send lots of positive thoughts that I can finally get out of here!
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| Posted 6/12/18 12:44 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Funkybutt
I just had my annual review and of course it was bad. She gave me "below expectations" on a certain section and one of her examples was that I was supposed to meet with her to talk about enrollment agreements. We have a meeting scheduled for it tomorrow. When I said that, she got angry and said that we should have already met about it.
She marked me down as below in another section b/c of something that was a misunderstanding that we had already discussed. Since she marked me down as below in 2 sections - that resulted in an overall evaluation as below (even though the other 15+ sections were meets or exceeds). That results in my not getting a raise this year.
I knew it was going to be bad b/c she's so awful, but her coming up with BS stuff like not meeting until tomorrow takes me off guard. So now I have to meet with her monthly and document everything I'm doing b/c she thinks I have follow thru issues.
I was afraid that she was going to submit a warning - and that makes it impossible for me to get a job at the university until after 6 months. I called HR as soon as I left and they said I didn't get a warning so I'm ok.
On the plus side ...... I FINALLY got a call from a job that I applied to in April and I'll have a phone interview scheduled for next week! Out of all the jobs I've applied to, this is the one I'm most interested in. OMG - send lots of positive thoughts that I can finally get out of here!
Best of luck with the phone interview!
You need to get out of there. This is not normal behavior for a supervisor.
She is impossible to please and she is being unreasonable.
It's borderline abusive.
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| Posted 6/12/18 12:53 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
LOL, just saw this. I'll let you know when we are hiring! 
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| Posted 6/12/18 12:54 PM |
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KirR
LIF Infant
Member since 1/09 146 total posts
Name:
K.
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How to handle horrible boss?
Good luck on the phone interview!
Keep your job search going and get out of that place. I don't think moving to another department will be far enough away from her toxic reach.
Almost forgot - submit a written response to the below expectations portion of your review. Keep it factual with documented examples, dates, etc. supporting your case.
Message edited 6/12/2018 9:46:44 PM.
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| Posted 6/12/18 9:41 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
That phone interview didn't go anywhere but I had another last week that I'm hopeful for (even though it's been a week since the call).
My boss has actually been normal for about a month, but then couldn't hold it in any longer and yelled at me on Tuesday. I admit, this one actually was my fault, and I feel awful about it. However, the way she found out what happened was b/c a coworker of mine tattled. This is the second time that she's gotten me in trouble about something (the first was a simple misunderstanding, but she still ran off to snitch). My mom thinks that she's doing it to keep my boss off her back, but I don't know. In general, she comes across as a sweet person, but after Tuesday, she's dead to me. I'll talk to her about work stuff but other than that she can FO!
The only bright spot here is that we hired someone new that I really like. She's funny and in the same sort of boat as me (single mom, etc). I'm not saying anything negative to her so I don't put her in the middle of my mess, but it's nice to have pleasant conversations for once. She already sees some of the boss' craziness (the boss told her to stop wearing her lotion b/c of the smell, and told her that her dresses aren't "business casual" - even though they look respectable to me). She said she was just going to laugh in her face if she says something crazy, and I just shut my mouth and wished I could be a fly on the wall to see my boss' reaction to that!
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| Posted 7/26/18 9:23 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
Wow - I can't believe a year later and I still haven't been able to get another job. I'm *really* close right now to the perfect job, but I haven't heard back. I interviewed last Monday and they asked for references on Tuesday. If I don't hear by noon, I'll send a follow up email.
So - in the continuing saga of how awful my boss is.... so much horrible stuff since last July, but the new person that was hired has been a blessing b/c she's not afraid to speak up. After we both got written up this past Friday, my co-worker told her off and said she was going to report the boss to HR.
Today, I was told that I have to take minutes in a meeting that's run by a guy that harassed and inappropriately touched me last September. I told her I was uncomfortable being around him and she's still making me take minutes. The whole conversation is in email, so if I don't get the other job, I'm taking it to HR.
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| Posted 1/14/19 9:22 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Funkybutt
Wow - I can't believe a year later and I still haven't been able to get another job. I'm *really* close right now to the perfect job, but I haven't heard back. I interviewed last Monday and they asked for references on Tuesday. If I don't hear by noon, I'll send a follow up email.
So - in the continuing saga of how awful my boss is.... so much horrible stuff since last July, but the new person that was hired has been a blessing b/c she's not afraid to speak up. After we both got written up this past Friday, my co-worker told her off and said she was going to report the boss to HR.
Today, I was told that I have to take minutes in a meeting that's run by a guy that harassed and inappropriately touched me last September. I told her I was uncomfortable being around him and she's still making me take minutes. The whole conversation is in email, so if I don't get the other job, I'm taking it to HR.
Did you report the harrassment and inappropriate touching to HR? How does this guy still have a job????
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| Posted 1/14/19 10:41 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
i pray that you are able to get the job you interviewed for.
please let us know if you get that new job!!!!
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| Posted 1/14/19 10:53 AM |
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TwinDani
We are complete <3
Member since 3/11 1750 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Funkybutt
Wow - I can't believe a year later and I still haven't been able to get another job. I'm *really* close right now to the perfect job, but I haven't heard back. I interviewed last Monday and they asked for references on Tuesday. If I don't hear by noon, I'll send a follow up email.
So - in the continuing saga of how awful my boss is.... so much horrible stuff since last July, but the new person that was hired has been a blessing b/c she's not afraid to speak up. After we both got written up this past Friday, my co-worker told her off and said she was going to report the boss to HR.
Today, I was told that I have to take minutes in a meeting that's run by a guy that harassed and inappropriately touched me last September. I told her I was uncomfortable being around him and she's still making me take minutes. The whole conversation is in email, so if I don't get the other job, I'm taking it to HR.
I would report it any way. I would have brought everything about this women to HR, any issues with anyone at this point. Did you report the person who harassed and touched you?
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| Posted 1/14/19 11:26 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
I would be submitting a claim to HR about the guy and your manager. It needs to be documented. Also isnt it strange that both if you were written up?
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| Posted 1/14/19 12:10 PM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by TwinDani
Posted by Funkybutt
Wow - I can't believe a year later and I still haven't been able to get another job. I'm *really* close right now to the perfect job, but I haven't heard back. I interviewed last Monday and they asked for references on Tuesday. If I don't hear by noon, I'll send a follow up email.
So - in the continuing saga of how awful my boss is.... so much horrible stuff since last July, but the new person that was hired has been a blessing b/c she's not afraid to speak up. After we both got written up this past Friday, my co-worker told her off and said she was going to report the boss to HR.
Today, I was told that I have to take minutes in a meeting that's run by a guy that harassed and inappropriately touched me last September. I told her I was uncomfortable being around him and she's still making me take minutes. The whole conversation is in email, so if I don't get the other job, I'm taking it to HR.
I would report it any way. I would have brought everything about this women to HR, any issues with anyone at this point. Did you report the person who harassed and touched you?
As of Jan 1st there are new sexual harassment laws. It is taken very seriously. Every single person at my job needs to take a seminar and managers like myself have to take a second seminar in addition. I am so glad they are finally making it known this is not going to be tolerated.
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| Posted 1/14/19 12:40 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
The guy is the chair of the Oversight Committee. He's not actually employed - he's basically a consultant. I reported him to my boss that day and she told me he did similar stuff to her a while back. So now she just isn't alone with him. She said she reported him to the president of the hospital, but it hasn't gone anywhere, I guess, b/c I never heard anything about it. I would go to HR now b/c my boss is putting me in a hostile work environment - not b/c HR can do anything to the guy.
My co-worker and I are gathering information of stuff that our boss has done and we're going to report it all. Technically, she could have a case on all the stuff she's written me up for, but last September, she wrote me up for having bad handwritting. I feel like that one crossed the line into bullying and harassment on her part directed toward me. I just haven't said anything b/c I don't want to burn a bridge - I just want a new job.
Send lots of positive thoughts (and prayers) that I get this new job so I can be away from this woman for good!!
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| Posted 1/14/19 12:50 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
Still haven't heard. I contacted one of my references and she said she hasn't heard from him. It's been over a week. :(
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| Posted 1/16/19 1:24 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Funkybutt
Still haven't heard. I contacted one of my references and she said she hasn't heard from him. It's been over a week. :(
Maybe follow up with the company?
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| Posted 1/16/19 1:35 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by Funkybutt
Still haven't heard. I contacted one of my references and she said she hasn't heard from him. It's been over a week. :(
Maybe follow up with the company?
I already followed up with him on Monday so I don't want to bother him. He said "hope to be in touch soon."
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| Posted 1/16/19 3:30 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by Funkybutt
Still haven't heard. I contacted one of my references and she said she hasn't heard from him. It's been over a week. :(
Maybe follow up with the company?
I already followed up with him on Monday so I don't want to bother him. He said "hope to be in touch soon."
Ok so maybe there is some type of hold up with higher mgmt. I wouldnt rule an offer out just yet.
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| Posted 1/16/19 4:36 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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How to handle horrible boss?
Well, I didn’t get the job. :( And now she’s ramped up the issues with me bc I went to HR. I’m going to talk to HR to see if it’s a possibility to get moved to another department. I doubt it since I’m not healthcare but it can’t hurt to ask!
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| Posted 1/22/19 12:12 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Aww I am sorry. Keep fingers crossed that they could find you a diff position.
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| Posted 1/22/19 1:52 PM |
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TwinDani
We are complete <3
Member since 3/11 1750 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: How to handle horrible boss?
Posted by Funkybutt
Well, I didn’t get the job. :( And now she’s ramped up the issues with me bc I went to HR. I’m going to talk to HR to see if it’s a possibility to get moved to another department. I doubt it since I’m not healthcare but it can’t hurt to ask!
If you went to HR and she is giving you issues because of it, that is retaliation which is against the law. You HAVE to go to HR and make a formal complaint against her. You should not have to be moved because she is harassing you.
Retaliation
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| Posted 1/22/19 2:00 PM |
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