Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

So after months and months of searching my husband and I found a house we love. We just saw it for the 2nd time today and we’re making an offer tomorrow. I made the mistake of telling my mom the address to look up (she’s in florida). I was excited and wanted to share some good news with her. Well she loves it. She woke me up this morning telling me that she’s so excited about us getting the house. I kept telling her that I don’t really want to talk about it or get too excited because it’s not ours yet. Well, she texts me at work that she told me dad and step mom about the house and showed them photos. I texted back that I wished she hadn’t done that... that it’s counting our chicks before they hatch and either way, it’s my good news to share. Tonight she called me and started asking questions about the house. Again.. I kinda got annoyed and said, please I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to get too excited because God forbid... I’d be devastated... she continues and slips and tells me that she told my aunt (her sister) about the house and showed her photos. I got pissed and wanted to know why should would do that?? I confided in her and it should’ve just stayed there. She got upset, hung up and me and either shut her phone off or is blocking my calls. I know she’s excited for me... and I appreciate that, but now I feel like crap when in my opinion, she was a bit out of line by talking about my news to 3 people. Thoughts? Am I a jerk?

Message edited 7/23/2018 10:01:46 PM.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Sorry, but I think you are overreacting

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Oh don’t be sorry. I’m looking for someone to tell me the truth. I appreciate your honestly. Maybe I got so annoyed because she has such a history for doing this kinda thing. Either way, I hear you.

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I would be annoyed at my mom. I don’t think you’re being a jerk at all.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Can you be both? Mom should understand not to blab, but since you know she blabs, it is on you to decide when to share knowing that she is going to over share. Good luck on getting the house.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I’d be annoyed. My mom found out we bought a house when we drove up the driveway and parked and she asked where we were lol

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I totally understand where you’re coming from, but she’s excited for you guys. I’d just tell her don’t mention it to anyone else until it’s yours.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I’d be annoyed. This is why I don’t tell people things ahead of time. I learned my lesson when my ex-MIL was told that ex and I were getting married, and he was looking for a jeweler. She told everyone and he hadn’t even proposed yet!

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I would be pissed and like pp this is why I didnt tell anyone when I bought a house until 2 weeks after closing.

Message edited 7/24/2018 5:43:53 AM.

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I can see both sides of it. My mom put it on FB that I was pregnant. I had not really announced it yet and did not want to talk about it. But she was excited to be a grandma. She passed away 9 months later. So in the big picture, grand scheme of things, this is so little I would just let it go. Life is too short to hold onto something so small.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I would be annoyed I know and you know she’s excited for you... but I get t my parents told me I ruined their experience of being grandparents because I wouldn’t let them tell people I was pregnant... with twin at like 6 weeks... they just didn’t get it. I got guilt trip calls and they made it about them and I was totally pissed so I get where you are coming from about not wanting to be disappointed if something happens to fall through etc. I would just let time pass and hopefully she gets over it

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

You are overreacting..If you didn't want anyone to know you shouldn't have told her. Especially if you know she talks a lot. Feeling annoyed is ok but you can't fault your mom for being excited. I thought your story was going to go the other way - like she was negative and not being supportive.

Just keep sending positive vibes out there and I hope you get the house. Good luck. I wouldn't waste any more energy on being upset.. focus on the positive that lays ahead.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I'd be slightly annoyed as well because you specifically asked her to keep it to herself. Big news like a home purchase, an engagement, a pregnancy etc is yours to share and not someone else's. I would hope that if I told my mom something out of excitement or otherwise and asked her to keep it between us she would respect my wishes.

Good luck, hope you get the house!!!

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Thank you so much for your replies. I spoke with my mom yesterday and apologized for making her feel bad. I thanked her for her enthusiasm and for cheering us on through this process. I tried to explain why I felt so strongly about her blabbing. And I asked her not to tell anyone else. Life is too short. ?? I was feeling very upset when I made the original post. Thanks so much for helping me to talk through it. I’ll keep you posted about the house. Keep those positive vibes coming!! ????

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Stuff like that doesn't bother me so, for me, it wouldn't be a big deal at all

But everyone is different

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I’d be furious. You’re not wrong.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I think you're both overreacting. She shouldn't have told people and shouldn't be blocking your calls, but I also think you're making a bigger deal out of it, at the end of the day it's a house and you shouldn't go into so fearful that you're going to be devastated because the house-buying process is stressful enough.

ETA: Saw the update, glad you worked it out :)

Message edited 7/24/2018 9:49:00 AM.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Aw, she was probably just so overjoyed and proud that she had to brag about you. I understand it upset you, but you still did the right thing by apologizing.

I'm sure she felt terrible about everything too.

POSITIVE VIBES!

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

I was going to say you were overreacting when she told your dad, but telling your aunt, too, is a bit much. Just try to understand her perspective - that she was excited for you. But maybe next time just keep it to yourself for a few more days!

More importantly, did you get the house?

Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Pple like this use the excuse that they are excited when in fact they have a big mouth and want the attention of spreading news.
I would use it as a reminder not to tell her things in the future unless you want others to know about it.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

if your mother has a history of blabbing... you should have kept your mouth shut.

but... I WOULD BE PISSED!!!!!

i know she's happy for you and all that jazz. but she needs to respect your wish to keep it under wraps until it's your time to share.

maybe the reason i would be so upset is because this is the kind of stuff my mom would pull. always making the positives in my life about her.

the best of luck to you on the house


i hope it's meant for you.

Re: Is my mom out of line or am I a b*@&$?

Did you have any clue beforehand your mother had a big mouth? I know mine does and that's why I don't tell her anything. If you did have a clue then...well...it's your fault for telling her. I would tend to think you had to know your mother has loose lips.