Is this rude?

I'm going to try to phrase this diplomatically and without bias. Eek, here we go ...

You have a group of four people. They all know one another fairly well and spend their lunch hour together. Some of them order take out, others bring from home.

If one people asks two other people about what to order and leaves the final, fourth person out of the conversation is this rude? For example, if three people are discussing whether to order pizza or Chinese while the fourth person is within 3 feet.

Hope this makes sense and curious to hear everyone's response.

Re: Is this rude?

Did the 4th person have food from home in front of them?

Re: Is this rude?

I was in this situation at work. I was often left out of the discussion because most days I brought from home. If I was going to order in with them, I would let them know and just go with whatever they decided. So I guess to answer your question, I would say it depends on the circumstances. So that's not answering your question at all. LOL In my situation, I did not find it rude at all.

Re: Is this rude?

Assuming person number 4 was left out bc they usually bring their lunch it is their responsibility to speak up if they were in fact ordering this day and have an opinion on where to order.

Edited to actually answer the question lol:
Probably not rude / the person “left out “ needs to speak up

Message edited 5/15/2019 10:51:20 PM.

Is this rude?

I am in an office with 4 other women. While most bring lunch daily, someone will occasionally order out. And unless its clear they brought or their lunch is in front of them, I always ask all of them if anyone would like anything. I do think its rude not to. And when they order out and don't ask me, I'm insulted. At least throw it out there.

Is this rude?

Always ask. They might want take out that day.

Re: Is this rude?

oh for the love of Christmas.... It is a gosh darn lunch order. Not too much thought is given to it probably. If the 4th person wants to order they should just speak up, especially if they are all friends. I would consider them extremely high maintenance.

People are so easily insulted. (I am not saying the OP is the one easily insulted unless they are the person not included)

Re: Is this rude?

This is why i don't associate with anyone for lunch.
If I want take out- I go and get it.
Too much drama.

Is this rude?

I think it’s rude. I frequently run out to grab something and always ask everyone in the office if they want anything. There is one woman who has never said yes. I still ask.

Is this rude?

I think it's rude. I can't see any reason not to ask the 4th person if they want to order anything. Even if that person usually brings lunch, there is no harm in asking

Re: Is this rude?

Ha! This reminds me of my first job out of college. We had a ton of down time and we would sit around the staff room half the day doing nothing. The conversation about where to go for lunch would start at around 10.am I hate Chinese food so I was always the pain in the a** because any time I was there no one could get Chinese. Finally, one day, my very good friend started yelling at me about how I could just suck it up and get Chinese for one day and how if I didn't want it I could just sit and eat alone in the staff room. Until my other friend chimed in and informed her that it was actually my birthday that day! I still laugh when I think about it. Needless to say, we didn't get Chinese that day.

Anyway - yeah it's a little rude I guess but if she wanted to be a part of the take out order then just speak up. I can't stand it when people always get their panties in a bunch when she's sitting right there and she could just put her two cents in. Everyone has their feelings hurt over every little thing these days. Sometimes you just need to speak up.

Re: Is this rude?

Is this rude?

No not rude. If I initiate the lunch order I just say I am ordering from here do you want anything. I am always up to suggestions but the person needs to speak up and give another option.

Is this rude?

This is something that is so not even worth getting worked up about. I don't think its rude, getting worried about something like this is very high school level.

Re: Is this rude?

Re: Is this rude?

Is this rude?

there are variables not stated that would determine if i thought it was rude.

but... rude or not, i wouldn't think too much about it. sometimes people stumble over their words.

Is this rude?

no. not rude at all and I also think its crazy to even think that far into it. I think if the 4th person wants lunch and hears them talking about it - they just say "oh let me know where you decide and I will order too".

Re: Is this rude?

Why didn't the 4th person just speak up?

Re: Is this rude?

I'd call it inconsiderate.
But the 4th person should find a voice and speak up.

I'm with Nell, I'd rather eat alone but am stuck with a lunch buddy who is really pissing me off by running a "quick" errand across the street for the last 30 minutes. I just finished my sandwich at my desk.

Is this rude?

If I am ordering lunch I ask my coworkers even if I know they brought lunch. If it’s a discussion on deciding what to get I don’t include anyone who doesn’t jump in about the decision where to order, but I do always ask them if they want something from wherever it is...

Re: Is this rude?

Re: Is this rude?

Re: Is this rude?