Asking for a friend......

Please be gentle as I am seriously trying to help my friend.

I am a single mother to a 7-year-old little girl. I am divorced from the girl’s father among other things, due to his narcissistic behavior. While I know that this term is thrown around a lot, it has been thoroughly documented that my ex does suffer from mental illness; he is not able to work and is collecting social security and a pension. The custody agreement gives him two overnights per week.

The reason that I am asking for help is because this beautiful 7 yo absolutely hates herself. She says that she hates the way she looks, she hits herself, wants to pull out her hair, saying that she’s a bad person and does not want to change. This is completely heartbreaking and devastating to witness. The tone when she speaks to me mimics my ex; I know that he is influencing her whether directly or indirectly. I am at my wit’s end. I need to have visitation with him stopped but I am fearful of the damage that it could do to my daughter – she loves her father but is not strong enough to reject the negativity. I also know that the conversation she and her father will have will be about mommy keeping daddy away. It takes weeks to get an appointment with a therapist, not only for her but for me to manage her behavior. I need to have this stopped now. I am so afraid of what this could look like in the future as she gets older.

Re: Asking for a friend......

So first of all the child does need to see a therapist- I know she said it takes weeks so she needs to make that appointment NOW so she can get her in as soon as they are available.

In terms of stopping the child from seeing the father- that she will need to work with her lawyer on.
I am sure that won't be easy- but having things documented by the therapist is probably a big part of it so getting the child seen by a professional is definitely the first step.

Re: Asking for a friend......

if seeing a therapist takes weeks, she should have made an appointment weeks ago. this is not meant to be mean, just a fact. as nell said, the sooner you're on the books, the sooner the therapist will see her and get the ball rolling.

document, document, document.

then she needs to see an attorney.
this might be a difficult battle and it might get expensive. but i believe that this mother would rather be broke and know she did all she could for her little girl.

i'll be praying for the little girl and her mom.

my XH has some serious issues but nothing like this. i can't imagine how difficult this must be.