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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I haven't exactly been avoiding it but I didn't want to shove the topic down her throat. Then again, I was hoping we'd talk before the services.
My sister went back to San Diego last night and AJ asked why she came to visit. So I was honest (something I ALWAYS said I would be).... She came to visit Grandpa.
AJ: In the hospital?
Me: Yes
AJ: I want to go see grandpa
Me: I'm sorry sweetie but you can't
(Jim walked in and I let him know the talk was going to happen)
AJ: Why not?
Me: He's gone sweetie
AJ: (with a sad face) To another town?
Me: no, grandpa's gone forever now
AJ: Why
Me: remember he got really sick
AJ: His tummy?
Me: Yes, well he was very sick and he was kind of old and been sick for a very long time. His body just couldn't hang on anymore and so he died.
AJ: (tears now) Because of the hospital
Me: No sweetie. The hospital tried to make him better and made it not hurt. But his body just couldn't hang on anymore so he died.
(more crying)
Me: Why are you crying honey? You're making mama cry
AJ: I'm crying because you're sad
Me: I'm sorry honey, I miss my daddy
AJ: (all out crying) but I wanted one more hug
Me: (oh my god am I hurting now, but I picked her up and hugged her) well honey, my hugs are from grandpa ok, because he's always with us in our hearts. He's forever right here (touching her chest)
AJ: No, he's not in my heart, he cracked it all the way to the bottom (then more crying)
Me: Are you saying grandpa broke your heart?
AJ just nods and cries into my chest.
Hubby is now crying and can't hold back. I held her in my arms and rocked her trying hard not to cry loudly myself.
Me: AJ honey.. grandpa loved you very much and he'll always be with you. He always wants you to be happy, ok? But its ok to cry too.
AJ: Ok, I want to cry because I miss grandpa.
Me: Me too sweetie
AJ: he's your daddy, right?
Me: Yes
AJ: is that why Auntie Nellie was crying?
Me: Yes, grandpa was her baby brother
AJ: is that why you have bad days
Me: yes, we have had a few bad days
and as ONLY a 5yr old could do.....
AJ: ok.. can you read me a story?
Ugh! carved my heart out but I went with it. And before bed (due to OTHER people influencing my child)...
AJ: can we pray?
Me: Pray?
AJ: Yeah like this (and puts her hands together)
Me: I don't pray, but I will show you what I do
AJ: ok
Me: fold your hands like this and put them on your chest, close your eyes and think about grandpa and now you can talk to him. "Dad, I miss you, love you and AJ does too"
AJ: "grandpa, I love you and I'm sorry your tummy hurt. Mama cried but I will hold her for you"
Just figured I'd share this..
Message edited 9/18/2013 10:21:43 PM.
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Posted 9/18/13 2:47 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
Oh my! I'm in tears! What a tough thing to do. You have such a sweet little girl and you're such a good mommy. So sorry you guys are going through this!
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| Posted 9/18/13 2:49 PM |
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Finally1108
My two boys
Member since 12/08 3541 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
Figured you needed that after reading this.
So Sorry for your loss
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| Posted 9/18/13 2:50 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
The last words my father said to me were broken, very hard to hear but was this..
"What will you tell AJ?"
I lost it then in the hospital room, but I told him "I will tell her that you love her and you will always be in her heart"
But those were the last understandable words he had for us. It was haunting me for a week. What will you tell AJ? The question hurt so bad.
She seemed fine this morning. We'll see how she fares through the services. But I'm glad I told her the truth.
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| Posted 9/18/13 2:54 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
thank you so much for sharing this
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| Posted 9/18/13 3:00 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
i was in tears, so sorry for your loss 
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| Posted 9/18/13 3:01 PM |
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MayBbaby21
Baby no. 3 coming soon!
Member since 6/09 5738 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I just cried while reading that whole post. I think you handled that very well. I'm dreading the day when we have to have that conversation, so thanks for sharing. I unfortunately had to hear it from my mom at 6 when my father passed away suddenly.
Sorry for your loss.
Message edited 9/18/2013 3:03:12 PM.
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| Posted 9/18/13 3:02 PM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I'm so sorry, Veronica! I didn't realize he had passed.
My thoughts are with you.
And I think how you handled it was perfect. My heart breaks for you and AJ reading that.
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| Posted 9/18/13 3:06 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
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| Posted 9/18/13 3:25 PM |
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BabySurprise
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/13 556 total posts
Name:
Me
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I am crying after reading that... I think you handled it very well. And I'm so sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 9/18/13 3:47 PM |
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sweetpea
xoxo
Member since 7/06 2467 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
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| Posted 9/18/13 4:13 PM |
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ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I think you handled it beautifully.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family
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| Posted 9/18/13 4:23 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I am in tears....I'm so sorry.
Children process death differently. When my godmother lost her mom her daughter, who was a little younger than AJ at the time, became angry. She thought her grandmother left her. I think you handled it very well.
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| Posted 9/18/13 4:25 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
That was beautiful and what you said was perfect.
I know how hard it is to lose a parent and to have to explain that loss to your child is just as hard.
You are so strong and an amazing mother.
Message edited 9/18/2013 4:32:41 PM.
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| Posted 9/18/13 4:32 PM |
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cj7305
=)
Member since 8/05 12296 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
OMG I am holding back from bawling. you handled it perfectly.
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| Posted 9/18/13 5:08 PM |
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renee92405
I finally hit 1000! woo hoo!
Member since 1/06 2294 total posts
Name:
Renee
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
Wow! That was beautiful. I am in tears reading this. I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with your family.
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| Posted 9/18/13 5:38 PM |
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heather10292010
Gonna be a big sister
Member since 12/10 1749 total posts
Name:
Heather
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I'm crying
That was so sweet - how you talked to aj. She cherish the memories she had of her grandpa and he is always with her ( and you)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom when Madison was 11 weeks old so I know your pain.
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| Posted 9/18/13 7:40 PM |
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Googlybear
i got a mama's boy!!
Member since 10/11 1132 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
cryong reading this.. so sorry for your loss.. your daughter is amazing..
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| Posted 9/18/13 8:24 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I am so so sorry Veronica. So heartbreaking. You did a wonderful job discussing this with your DD IMO, btw.
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| Posted 9/18/13 10:20 PM |
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EandF
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 1674 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
You did a great job and you have a special girl.
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| Posted 9/18/13 10:25 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
you have a very special girl on your hands, i was tearing up reading this.
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| Posted 9/18/13 11:13 PM |
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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
It is hard, very hard and I am so sorry. We went through a horrible tragedy this summer and trying to explain to a 3.5 year old why Papa is gone and Grandma's house is to dirty to live in is a challenge everyday. He died at my mother's house in a house fire he started on accident. Many hugs to you all.
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| Posted 9/19/13 12:14 AM |
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NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul
Member since 5/05 11122 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 9/19/13 10:26 AM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
You handled that so well, I have tears in my eyes just reading this. I am so, so sorry for your loss. My dad and I are so close, and I can't even imagine how you're staying so strong for your DD. 
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| Posted 9/19/13 11:43 AM |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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Re: So I had the 'talk' with AJ last night about grandpa
i am in tears reading this.I am so sorry for your loss
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| Posted 9/19/13 11:46 AM |
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