Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I want so badly to be a Type A superwoman/mommy but I'm really just... not. Pinterest is what tipped me off but even Facebook these days is a constant reminder of how sucky I am at being "that" mom. Today's mommy fail... I'm just discussing birth announcements with my dear friend who owns a stationary business. Dd was born at the end of April! Neither of my girls has a completed bedroom/nursery, a baby book, monthly pictures as infants, any printed pictures for that matter. We don't do art projects or plant gardens or have family outtings on weekends (very seldom at least). I'm back to work full time and went back to my part time jobs two weeks after the baby came. My summer class starts in a couple weeks. I just can't do it all. Anyone want to comisserate? I can't be the only one... but maybe I am, haha.

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

You do realize that 99% of moms don't do the things you think they do.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Idk. I don't feel I need to do ANY of that.

As long I keep us safe, fed and clean I consider it a good day

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Just remember that there are plenty of moms, myself included, who do not do any or most of the things you listed. We just aren't announcing it on FB!

DD will be 2 on Saturday and I have yet to print photos. Her baby book is grossly incomplete, and her nursery may be complete by the time I have #2 in a few years. I work full time, and as long as DD is happy and healthy, that's all that matters.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

None of those things matter at all!!!

I feel like a lot of those things are for show. Little babies and kids just need lots of love and affection from Mom and Dad. They do not notice their nurseries.

Do not worry about monthly photos or baby books now. Just try and take as many pictures as you can, you can organize later.

My boys are 6 and 4, and I never did baby books for them yet! I have blank books that still need to be filled.

I was thinking it might be fun for my boys to do them with me, they love seeing their baby pictures.

Don't be tough on yourself. You are working hard and love your children, that is the most important thing!!!

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

My DD is 4 and I still have not printed out any photos. I never completed her baby book. I keep saying i want to print them but I keepl slacking.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I get caught up in it. then I realize, nothing matter but happy, healthy kids and mom/dad. NOTHING else matters.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I'm lucky that she is fed and clothed.
I don't aim high.


And as far as Pintrest ,I won't even go on there. I feel like that fluckign site should be banned.

Message edited 6/12/2014 11:58:20 AM.

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I feel like I'm a failure on all aspects - employee, wife, mother. Somthing is always lacking. I've just learned to accept and focus my attention on making DS the happest he can be - and I think I do a good job at that because he is totally a cool kid!

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I'm not really bothered by it. I was just amused that by the time people receive our birth announcement this kid is going to have a full set of teeth! I think it's the monthly photos that I notice the most. All my friends on facebook have a special album set aside for them. I got 5 or 6 of the frames that have the twelve spaces for each month and have started to just give them away because I never took the monthly photos. Plus none of my frames have photos in them anyways so why start now?!

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

For the first 8 months I was so good with everything. Now everything has been pushed to the side. She has a pic taken everyday at daycare so I have those. I cheat though and use groovebook every month so photos are printed.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Sometimes I feel like this too. Like, if someone asks me when she started walking/talking. I really have to think about it. I don't have it written down anywhere (well, except for an LIF post or something, that I can always reference ). But, then I think...does that stuff really matter? Will my DD ask me one day when she started walking, and then be upset that I can't remember? or that I don't have a book where it's logged in? I don't think so.

We can only do OUR best. As long as that happens, then we're ok.

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be a Pinterest mom. And nothing against them, I think it's great if you can do all of that stuff. But I just can't...and also don't necessarily want to lol. I try really hard to live in the moment with my son. I know these years are going to fly by and soon he will be way too cool to hang out with me. I have such precious little free time with him that I can't imagine spending that time filling out baby books or making scrap books, etc. I'd rather spend my time making memories. I do take lots of pics but I think the last time I got any printed was before he turned 1 (he's now 2). We are all just doing our best as parents and so long as everyone is happy and healthy, that is all that matters.

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I give myself anxiety over this too even though I know it doesn't matter. Dd is one of the happiest babies I know. I kiss her a million times a day. She's clean, fed, safe and loved.

Her baby book is started but I need to fill in a lot. I have pictures printed in frames around the house but she doesn't have a album yet. I took her newborn pics and made a shutterfly hard book. I have a ton of groovebook printed out.

Oh and I'm not on Facebook or Pinterest or any social media.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

whenever I feel this way I remind myself that my life was not affected at all by whether my mom did any of that stuff, nor do I remember.

All that matters is that your children are happy and loved. The other stuff is just nonsense!

but I'm guilty of having those feelings from time to time. I just can't get hung up on it.

Who has time!!!

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Please don't feel badly.

To give a different perspective... I am that mom. Everyone calls me super mom. Everyone asks me how I do it.

I know how I do it. I don't sleep. My brain is always going a million miles per minute. I don't get a second of down time to myself. I won't even tell you the last time I had a pedicure because I'm so busy being "super mom". I'm stressed out and exhausted all of the time. I'm running myself ragged.

I won't lie. I have a love hate relationship with it, but this is just who I am. I can't seem to function any other way.

It's a double edged sword too. I get snarky comments from other moms at school ALL THE TIME. I'm also held to an insane standard by those same moms. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Have the most amazing, cutest, pinterest photo worthy item at the bake sale? They all talk smack about it.. not to mention you were up till 4am making said item.
But once you're "that mom" try bringing in a store bought item and see what happens. Everyone else does it... but the ONE TIME I said " Eff it" and tried going that route I was asked no less then a dozen times " What happened this year? Are you ok? Everything alright? We were dying to see what you had come up with..."

Hopefully one day my kids look back and appreciate it all.. but odds are they won't even remember 90% of it.

Message edited 6/12/2014 12:44:06 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Posted by SHOPAHOLIC

Please don't feel badly.

To give a different perspective... I am that mom. Everyone calls me super mom. Everyone asks me how I do it.

I know how I do it. I don't sleep. My brain is always going a million miles per minute. I don't get a second of down time to myself. I won't even tell you the last time I had a pedicure because I'm so busy being "super mom". I'm stressed out and exhausted all of the time. I'm running myself ragged.

I won't lie. I have a love hate relationship with it, but this is just who I am. I can't seem to function any other way.

It's a double edged sword too. I get snarky comments from other moms at school ALL THE TIME. I'm also held to an insane standard by those same moms. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Have the most amazing, cutest, pinterest photo worthy item at the bake sale? They all talk smack about it.. not to mention you were up till 4am making said item.
But once you're "that mom" try bringing in a store bought item and see what happens. Everyone else does it... but the ONE TIME I said " Eff it" and tried going that route I was asked no less then a dozen times " What happened this year? Are you ok? Everything alright? We were dying to see what you had come up with..."

Hopefully one day my kids look back and appreciate it all.. but odds are they won't even remember 90% of it.

Message edited 6/12/2014 12:39:53 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Yeah I realized I was a big mommy failure when I went back to work at 11 weeks and her baby book was all but empty! 3 years later I still have little pieces of paper with milestone dates written on them and our wall calendar from her first 2 years thrown in the closet with her book. Maybe someday I will have the time to sit and actually get the info in there. In the meantime, my DD is happy, healthy and I spend my time WITH her and I think that is what matters most, especially right now.
Yeah I went over the top with DIY and giving a poop about impressing others for her first b-day and exhausted myself and didn't get to enjoy it at all. Now, it's all scaled back, she still loves and appreciates it and I get to enjoy the day too. Balance, balance, balance.
What really matters is what makes you and your kids happy and able to enjoy the moment. We get too lost in all the fluff and lose the substance sometimes.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

Posted by NervousNell

See, just reading this gives me hives. Like I got itchy and my eczema flared up.

And that is exactly why I aim low. Store bought 100% of the time, if I even bother to participate in bringing something for a school party (it's 50/50 I'd say). So there are NO expectations. I'm a hero if I bring in 2 bottles of Motts for Tots because most times I am too busy and too lazy to even see the sign up sheet on the door asking for items.

But I'm very relaxed. I am well rested and all my hair appotiments etc are up to date!
And DD, well she doesn't know any better. She still says. "Mommy? I love you." every single day.

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I made it 2 months with the monthly photos! I think I missed 3 and then did 4 and 5 and that was it. Life gets in the way and I don't think that's a bad thing.

As for fb, I honestly think some moms do these activities just to have the photo op for fb. Some of their kids are miserable half the time but as long as they get a good pic they're happy. Totally opposite of my priorities! As for pinterest, some of those moms are so overboard. Do kids really need 12 things at lunch in ice cube trays or a fancy tent to put their potty in to potty train? DD has a blast playing in the dirt, has dirty fingernails whenever the weather's nice, and crooked pigtails but she's happy and that's what matters!

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I don't want to be the kind of mom you described (OP) And I'm not saying its a bad thing to be that way, just not something I'm into.
We are much more laid back in my house, and my kids are too. Maybe that's why I'm on baby #5. I make them a lunch for school everyday and play a few games with them. We do crafts for special occasions only or if we're having a friend over for a play date.
I don't have a baby book for any of my kids, just photos backed up online. I keep very few things too.
And even with doing just those few things, my house is still a mess, I'm behind on work (part of job is done at home), I don't sleep, I do laundry once a week and I don't make beds unless its laundry day or someone is coming over.
I'm not very involved in school because I have the little ones home during the day. They each do one activity outside of school (its all we can afford)

My kids are happy and to me that's all that matters.

Message edited 6/12/2014 1:08:39 PM.

Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

My question is why do you want to be that mom? If your children are happy and well cared for you are doing a great job. Stop beating yourself up over things that really do not matter in the long run. Your children will not care if you decorated their rooms or sent out birth announcements but they will remember the time you spend with them. I have learned spending time with my daughter is more valuable then being the "perfect" mom. When I was pregnant I had all of these ideas of what I was suppose to do and now just a few months later I have accepted that I do not have the time (without sacrificing more sleep) to worry over being super mom. I want to look back and remember enjoying these precious first months with my daughter. So my house is messier then I would like and thank you cards go out later then they should but I get to wake up each morning to the sound of my daughter's laughter.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

I'm so not that mom and will never be. That damn FB always makes you think everyone's life is so much better then your own. But who knows how these people's lives really are.
I have in complete baby books. Professional pictures still not in frames. Everyday pictures on the computer. I don't do arts and crafts. We color and play board games. I try to read at least one book a day. Many of the times my kids just play with each other while I get house work done.
On the weekends we do try to get out abd do something. Even if it's something simple like going to Northport to walk around and get ice cream or going to the beach to throw rocks in water and dig. That is one thing we are good at. My oldest is not around other kids his age enough other then school everyday. We try to get together with friends as much as we can but life always gets in the way. We take at least one vacation a year and nothing fancy.

It's very hard to do everything and be that mom! I guess some people are just meant to be that way.

Re: Am I the only one? Mommy fail... daily

My best advice received is that other people who you think are doing everything by themselves and seem to have/do "it all" are cutting corners you haven't event considered.