Part 3 - The Good, The "Bad", And The Persecuted: Is Your Son's Behavior "Dangerous"? Knowing The Signs And How To Identitify Them

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

They say you can’t keep a good man down. But, it seems you can’t keep an oppressed man (or boy for that matter) down either. After all, isn’t that what revolutions are made of?

Traditionally speaking, it is not uncommon for the persecuted to rise up and retaliate against their tormentors. In fact, it is quite common, and a phenomenon that has recently “plagued” our schools and our children.

Experts warn, that boys (who tend to curb their emotions and are generally pent up with anger) are ticking time-bombs, and frequently respond in one of two ways:

· Bullying others

· Retaliating against the bullies

And, they warn that with guns, knives, and the knowledge of how to build home-made explosives, so readily available and accessible, may provoke violence, and subject your child (and others) to serious danger.

Professionals point out that bullies bully because of insecurity and to avoid being picked on by others, and those are victimized are at risk for exploding. Both lend to a loose-loose situation. Furthermore, they encourage parents to be aware of the situation and be instrumental in helping their child (children) cope with it.

· Form a support group. Do your homework and locate other kids and their parents who are facing similar issues and bond together….letting your kids they know they have people to confide in and turn to.

· Find healthy outlets for your child’s anger and frustration. Also teach him socially acceptable, appropriate and cathartic ways to express his feelings. Discourage any and all negative, adverse, retaliatory, aggressive, and “bullying” behaviors.

· Ask the school to establish “safety zones” (or establish your own at home) where kids can meet and discuss their feelings, struggles, and frustrations, how to effectively cope with them…and reach a consensus of acceptable solutions.

· Stay involved and follow through. Active, continual participation on your part will assure your child that you are interested in his life, his “problems”, his “progress”, and that you are taking him, his issues, and his “dilemmas” seriously.

· Be complimentary and frequently praise him for his “good” behavior, accomplishment(s), qualities, and characteristics. Accentuate the positive and help him seek out a peer group with similar traits and healthy outlets.

According to officials, boys who act out are usually emotionally “unstable” and their actions merely a by-product of their hidden emotions and their “depression”. Boys get depressed and act out to avoid being picked on or BECAUSE they are picked on. Either way they have hot buttons and exhibit very discernable warning signs. Among the most prevalent and noticeable to look out for:

· Unusual apathy and “boredom” combined with uncharacteristically impetuous behavior.

· Social disengagement. Loss of interest in usual activities, friends, and relationships.

· Emotional outbursts including sadness, and volatility

· Increased but hazardous sense of adventure, interests, and affiliations.

· Harmful habits such as drugs and alcohol

The sooner you start paying attention to your child’s moods and the better you get at reading his mind and feelings, the greater your chances of understanding him, intervening, being instrumental is alleviating negative behaviors and perceptions and helping him develop into a healthy young man and adult.

Next: Faith In The Future>>