Part 1 - Potty Time: Potty Training Your Child:

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

There are three phrases every parent longs to hear: “Mommy”, “Daddy”, and “I went potty”

And while you may be in no rush for your child to grow up (completely) you’ll probably be ready for the “grown up” accomplishment of going the bathroom independently.

So, when is a good time to start thinking about toilet training? For you, most likely after you’ve changed your first diaper, but junior/juniorette may require a bit more time. According to professionals every child is different, and each exhibits signs of readiness (generally between 18-24 months with boys generally being more latent learners) if your know what to look out for. They suggest taking notice of behaviors such as stopping for a short time or clutching of his/her pants or diaper. Other indicators include:

· Ability to comprehend and follow simple instructions.

· Ability to relate to and identify words associated with toilet training

· Ability to communicate their wants and needs effectively and verbally

· Ample motor skills and ability to control the muscles necessary for excretion and elimination.

· Ability to stay “dry” for 2 hours or more

· Ability to get on and off the potty or at least sit on the potty until they “go”

· Ability to ask for assistance in going to the potty

· Ability to pull down garments necessary for going potty.

Once you feel your child is “ready”, it’s up to you to make the experience a rewarding and positive one. Experts make the following suggestions:

1. Remember Timing Is Everything: While experts agree each child and situation is unique and that there no such thing as the perfect time to start toilet training your child, they do not that certain times may be more “stressful” than others. For instance, if your child is sick and experiencing diarrhea, or if you are expecting, when traveling, moving to a new home, or when transitioning from a crib to a bed. Some experts even suggest starting the process in summer when weather is hot, and less clothing is needed (and there’s less to contend with), but they emphasize not putting if off if your child is ready.

2. Practice Patience, It’ a Virtue: According to experts, teaching ad child to “go potty” can take anywhere between 3 to 6 months….but again is dependent on the child and the dedication of the parent. And, experts further note, that for some children staying dry through the night may take an additional 6 months to a year.

3. Sitting Pretty: Know your options before choosing an appropriate potty. Basically, there are two types of potties:

o Stand Alone: A toddler size potty chair with a removable seat that can be emptied in the toilet.

o A toddler size seat that fits over your toilet seat giving your child the added support and security to train right on the family commode.

If you choose a modified toilet seat, you may also want to invest in a stepping stool so that your child can reach the toilet. Additionally, they remind parents that stools also provide children with an “anchor” when having a bowel movement, but note that for boys who may feel “anxious” about standing on a stool to urinate, a potty chair may be a better, wiser alternative.

Experts assert that it may also be beneficial to put a potty in every bathroom and one in the trunk of your car in case of emergency. If traveling, they suggest making a potty stop every 1 to 2 hours.

4. Dressing For Success: Even among professions there’s dissention among the ranks when it comes to pull up pants. While some experts approve of pull up pants as a transitional garment others view it as a means of inhibiting potty progress. Because they are so similar to diapers, some “fear” that the child won’t make the official transition is his/her mind and treat the pull up pant as a diaper and revert to pre-potty training habits.

Instead, experts suggest using training pants for bedtime ONLY, since most children have less bladder and bowel control during this time. Once the pull up pants stay dry for a few days, you can then switch over to regular underpants. And, they recommend consulting with your child’s doctor regarding any potential benefits of disposable training pants.

5. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back: One of the most confusing and frustrating experiences for parents is toilet training their child only to have him/her regress. Experts emphasize however, that this is frequently a common occurrence. Children, may revert back to old ‘habits” under times of stress and duress. Still they suggest consulting your child’s physician just to air on the side of caution, and rule out conditions such as chronic diarrhea, urinary tract infection, diabetes, etc. If your child is over 3 years of age and still not toilet trained, your physician may be able to help you identify the problem and offer guidance and advice.

6. Potty Preparations: Whether your child is ready for potty training or you’re just trying to get him/her psyched for the big day, experts say there are things you can do to get your child potty ready:

o Use words such as potty, poop, pee, etc. to get your child familiar with bathroom concepts.

o Ask to be notified of a wet or soiled diaper or when your child is “going potty”

o Define your child’s behavior by asking associated questions such as “are you going pee pee or potty”? This identifies the behavior as one which should be conducted in the bathroom

o Invest in a potty chair and conduct “practice” potty training sessions. Have your child sit on the potty with clothes on, then with only his/her diaper, then with bare bottom.

Once both you and your child are comfortable with the idea of potty training, you can begin the process. Some effective suggestions of the experts include:

· Designate a certain amount of time each week/day to devote to toilet training

· Refrain from “forcing” your child"

· Learn to lead by example. Invite you child into the washroom when you, your spouse or a sibling are making use of the facilities….explain what you are doing, and you may even want to set up your child’s potty chair right next to you.

· Implement a recognizable routine. For instance, start by having your child sit on the potty, first thing in the morning or directly after a meal to encourage gastro-colic reflex or the body’s natural tendency to have a bowel movement soon after eating.

· Observe and take note of your child’s reactions and patterns. Many children turn red or make faces and noises when going “potty”. Many are also regular in their bowel movements.

· Discard of your child’s bowel movement in the toilet and explain that poop belongs in the toilet.

· Easy Access. Make sure your son, daughter had “potty training clothes” Keep clothes simple and easy to pull down or remove. Avoid “complex pieces like overalls, or things with lots of buttons, snaps, zippers, etc.

· Remove all inhibiting obstacles, including the diaper. Allow your child to move about the house sans bottom, but protect furniture, floors, carpets, etc, have a potty handy, and be ready for a potential bit of a mess

· Conduct target practice with little boys. This teaches them how to correctly aim for the toilet (urinal). Some professionals suggest using some sort of “marker” for them to aim at.

· Establish a rewards system for your child every time he/she goes potty. You may even want to keep track of their progress and reward them with a special outfit or by letting them choose their very own big kid underpants once they’ve mastered their potty training skills.

· Inform all caregivers of your routine and your child’s progress. Make sure they are ready, willing, and able to stick to the regimen so that your child doesn’t get set back or confused.

Other techniques Include: Teaching your child by making him/her the teacher.

· Purchase an anatomically correct drink and wet doll that your child…and make sure the doll has its own potty.

· Allow your child to name and “be responsible” for the doll…and don’t forget to tell your child he/she is the “big kid” in the relationship with the doll.

· Have the child give the doll something to drink, put the doll on her/his potty or on your child’s potty and watch the doll go potty together.

· Upon the doll having gone potty successfully, reward the doll with lots of praise and attention. Some experts suggest even haven a potty party with streamers, noisemakers etc. This helps reinforce for your child that going potty is a major accomplishment and a positive experience.

· Reassure your child that once he/she (also) masters the art of going potty, he/she will also have a potty party in his/her honor. Additionally, they can call their favorite grown up and tell them about their achievement.

· Allow your child to see the doll make the transition from diaper to big kind underpants. Now tell your child they too can make the same transition and include them in the process by having them pick out their own “grown up” underwear.

· Make sure your child has enough to drink and eat to induce the need to go to the potty.

· Ask your child if he/she has to use the potty, and even if he/she says “NO”, you can wait until he/she indicates he/she has to go, or (because you just gave them something to eat and drink) place them on the potty (perhaps alongside the doll for encouragement) and wait with them until they go.

What’s most important is that you make this a positive experience. Even when accidents happen (and they WILL), you must remain upbeat and encouraging. Experts emphasize refraining from belittling or scolding your child on their failed attempts. Simply remind them that they are well on their way to officially being a “big kid” and no doubt will do better next time. Remember, a little love, understanding and compassion goes a long way.

Next: Part 2 - Special Procedures for Children with Special Needs: Potty Training Dynamics >>