All Work and No Play: Sex and The North American Woman

Save to notebook Email article Print article More articles

By Mia Bolaris-Forget

First there was “Sex and the Single Girl”…then there was “Sex and the Married Woman”…and now there’s “Sex and the Disinterested Female”.

Some would argue that women reach their “prime” in their thirties and forties, while others suggest that this time frame corresponds with a decreased production of estrogen and a loss of interest in physical intimacy.

According to research millions of women, and the number continues to increase, despite blatant and explicit magazines, TV, and media mediums, have lost their sexual appetite.

Besides medical conditions such as an overactive thyroid, oral contraceptives, and blood pressure meds, experts explain that the prevalence of anti-depressants (to help young women cope with their face-paced, hectic, and demanding lives), as well as sleep deprivation all contribute to limiting libido.

Performance Anxiety: Not Just For Men Any More

A new breed of femme fatales has joined the ranks of Wonder Woman and other “invincible” heroes. They are a generation of super girlfriends, wives, and mom’s who are single-handedly maintain jobs, households, relationships, children and extracurricular activities….not to mention being expected to perform like one of the cast of Cirque du Soleil in the boudoir.

Added stress and responsibility (both at work and at home) without added appreciation or attention to wants, needs, and desires cause women to harbor frustration and resentment, which frequently translates into loss or lack of desire.

Most married or monogamously committed women (age and often marital status is “irrelevant”) further loose interest due to “dissatisfaction” of their sexual relationship.
Over time, physical intimacy wreaks of complacency and becomes routine and lacks spontaneity and “personality”. The rub is that despite a partner’s professed efforts continue to get rubbed the wrong way. Why? Because, according to the experts they are unaware of their own wants, needs, and desires. Improving the relationship mandates women taking note of their sexual turn ons and yearnings.

Have More Fun In Bed:

Go ahead girl; let your hair down (Rapunzel did it…and if I’m not mistaken, it saved her life).

Start by taking the pressure off your partner to focus on you…and try letting YOU focus on you. Be honest with yourself about your insecurities as well as your innermost desires.
Then, engage in some “pillow talk” and let your partner in on your little “secret” and don’t forget to allow yourself to “punch out”. If your “job” ends at five, designate an acceptable time to “clock out” (and that means putting the kids to bed) at home giving you and your mate more privacy, alone time, and a chance to rekindle the romance and reignite the fireworks.