Role Call: The Man's Role In The Family

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Traditionally speaking a man’s role in the family had been “limited”. Most of his life, he’s generally “catered to” by mom and his sister(s), only to grow and have women doting over him. Then it’s time for marriage and it’s been customarily convenient that his ONLY “obligation” is showing up….and, if he follows his forefathers’ example his new title entitles Mr. “King of the Castle” to unconditional love, attention, sex, meals, clean clothes and a pristine palace. His primary contribution bringing home the bacon for frying and serving.

According to relationship experts, what most men DON’T realize is that being “King of the Castle” is not merely an arbitrary but convenient moniker, but an actual privilege that has attached to it many paramount responsibilities.

Love and Support: While most men have the support part down, they frequently forget or are just not good at the LOVE part. Some even erroneously misunderstand the concept and staunchly believe that offering financial stability and provisions IS an expression of love. However, providing, asserting and maintaining his family’s emotional nourishment as well as physical, mental and spiritual health is a key component intrinsic to his new role…and one that will stretch (in their healthy growth and development) much further than the dollar.

Guard and Protect: This is by no means a call to arms to revert to adolescent bullying tactics. Nor is it an invitation to yell, scream or act out against those who may offend you and your family, nor a disciplinary right to strong-arm your wife and kids. It simply challenges the man to rise above the emotional and implement the logical ensuring his family and its values will endure and persevere.

Head of Household: While there’s no doubt that marriage SHOULD foster equality (of both partners), it does not exonerate the man from taking a position of leadership where and when necessary and without undermining the spouses “power” or authority. It is perfectly acceptable to be forthcoming about implementing necessary change in your family and its dynamics instead of reacting irrationally, emotionally and living unhappily while complaining about it. At times this may mean you’ll have to give more than you get….but remember, you reap what you sow.

Master of Ceremonies: I knew the word “master” would get your attention. Well, know that I have your attention, your attention PLEASE! Being the family MC means more than simply shouting out your demands and opinions. It means leading by example and ensuring you are depicting the perfect role model for your brood….even if it’s just you and your wife. From how you dress, to how you speak and act, how you handle adversity and meet social obligations, you need to sharpen your skills and intensify appropriate behaviors and standards so that willful modeling and enthusiastic learning can take place.

Long Island Family Life & Parenting Articles > Role Call: The Man's Role In The Family