Serenity Now: The Secrets Of A Happy Home

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Whether it’s the 1950s or now every time we see a happy family on TV, they are always depicted as one healthy, happy family where serenity and tranquility rule. And, in this “fairytale” world even working moms and dads have a grip are always chic, cool, calm and collected.

But, in the “real world”, even the happiest of families seemed to be governed by “madness” and “chaos”. And, according to experts that’s no environment to bring kids up in. In fact, as “cliché” as it may sound, what kids really want and need is a peaceful, rewarding, and happy home. And, they add this atmosphere is NOT impossible to achieve.

· Edit before you speak: Keep in minds that words hurt, and not only the person your hurl them at. In fact, how we speak (to each other) strongly influences our kids. More importantly, how we speak to our kids can either build them up or tear them down, so it’s imperative that when it comes to conversation in our household we need to watch what we say and how we say it.

· Remember, not all routine or adventure: While YOU and your mate may crave a little “adventure” kids crave structure and order. And, much of that means establishing a clear and comfortable ‘routine.” This say experts includes a predictable schedule and clearly understood and consistent rules. Plus, they need to understand and experience that even when the regimen changes or when they do something wrong, the love and respect they get won’t change. Just make sure to strive for balance and incorporate the differences between you and each of the members of your household and adjust your ways accordingly.

· Keep in mind that doing nice things and saying nice words are okay, but can often fall short of being believable if you never have any time for those around you. Set aside time to spend together, as well as time to discuss what’s going on in each of your minds and lives and to make a plan for your family time.

· Reach out: Find new ways everyday to show love to your kids and to encourage them to do the same. According to experts and researchers, children whose parents spend time reading, playing, joking and sharing with them are more friendly, generous, and loving.

· Get Creative: Teach kids about family history and tradition, including cultural rituals, but don’t be afraid to create new rituals of your own. Consider making Friday night pizza and movie night or mall and hot cocoa night. Just make sure you give your kids something special with a familiar continuity that they can fondly associate their childhood to and eagerly look forward to.

· Kids today have enough pressure, worries and stress. So, what they need from you is a soft shoulder to lean on, understanding and compassion. Even when times are tough for you or you are angry at them, it’s imperative to keep you cool and to correct them or deal with the situation in a firm, but calm and loving way.

· One-on-one: Set aside time for each child to have special time alone just with you and/or just with your spouse (and their other biological parent if you are divorced). This is a great way to get to know each of your children up close and personal as they grow and change and allow them a comfort zone to get to really know you. Find things to do that are interesting to them or to both of you and use this time as an opportunity to bond and forge a lifelong friendship without relinquishing your right or role as a parent.