Woe Is Me: Woes and Worries Of Parents To Be

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

There are lots of wonderful emotions involved in becoming a parent. But, according to experts there are also lots of stressors involved with pregnancy, trying to conceive or even thinking about it.

But, according to the experts these feelings are normal and you are not alone. And they suggest that there are certain things you can do to prepare yourself from pregnancy and/or parenthood.

From taking some time to relax to preparing your home and your life for baby (decorating the nursery, buying baby clothes, reading baby clothes, or hanging out with other women who already have children) it’s all-important for keeping your pregnancy (and upcoming new role) in perspective. Experts even suggest speaking with other excited expectant mothers or with overjoyed grandparents (about their concerns and most memorable experiences), it’s bound to calm you concerns.

Here is a look at the most common concerns and how to handle them.

1. What Kind Of Parent Will I Be: Considering that we all know people seemed to have been “successful” at raising children despite their apparent parenting “inabilities”, the fact that you are even thinking about what kind of parent you’ll be already gives you an added “edge” say experts. They add that knowledge is power and the more you want, seek, and gain, the better your parenting dynamic will become and the better you chances of being the type of parent you hope and want to be. They suggest that you read as much as you can, ask for advice from friends and relatives, volunteer to babysit and get familiar with standard parenting procedures such as feeding, holding and rocking the child, and changing diapers. You may also want to contact your local public health facility and look into parenting classes in your area (which is also a great way of meeting other women/parents in your situation.

It’s also a good idea say experts to reflect on your own upbringing, what you liked and what you didn’t like about how you were raised and what (if anything) you would have done differently, how and why.

2. Health Concerns: It’s common for many moms and dads to be to feel anxious about the health of their (unborn) child. Despite statistics pointing to “problems” being rare enough that they can be considered “negligible”, most expectant parents can’t help but worry. Experts suggest speaking to other expectant parents about their concerns or to parents who’ve already been through what you’re currently going through. They also suggest keeping open communication between you and your partner, each helping the other through this very exciting but often mentally exhausting time.

3. Concerns About Your Changing Relationship: Many expectant parents fear losing that special relationship they have with each other once the baby arrives. Their general concern is that the baby will take up most of their time and energy and they will no longer have time for each other or interest in each other. Experts and parents assert that children “do” change your relationship, but it doesn’t have to compromise it. They suggest finding time to simply sit together, have meals together, hold hands, hug, talk, and share “intimate” conversations, even if you can’t find much time for much more.

4. Monetary Concerns: With life being as expensive as it is without children, many expectant parents worry about how they’ll be able to afford an addition to the family. Keep in mind that many of the “necessities” you feel your baby needs are merely just “niceties” that YOU want for your little one. Experts suggest not being too proud to accept hand me downs (especially from family and trusted friends), looking for bargains at garage sales and second hand stores or joining a toylending library, just make sure the items meet safety requirements. But, experts add that if you occasionally feel like splurging on junior/juniorette, go ahead, after all you’ll likely be saving on expenses such as dining out, and entertaining.

5. Social Issues: Reading the paper, watching the news or reading about it on the net, is enough to discourage (almost) anyone about the future your child will have to live in and thrive in. It’s also easy to become overwhelmed by the increasing responsibility you’ll have to make sure your child is given a solid foundation and the added advantage of a loving and safe environment, even in the face of social adversity. Instead of getting caught up in the negatives, experts suggest concentrating on the positives such as the incredible joy your tiny tot will bring to the family and the potential significant contributions he or she will bring/make to the world.