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funny (but long) email about teaching

Posted By Message

nymommy2be
I love the summer

Member since 1/06

2063 total posts

Name:
Kara

funny (but long) email about teaching

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor"
show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be
dropped in an
elementary school classroom for 6 weeks. Each
business person will be
provided with a copy of his/her school district's
curriculum, and a
class of 28 students.

Each class will have five learning-disabled
children, three with A.D.D.,
one gifted child, and two who speak limited
English. Three will be
labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at
least 3 days in
advance with annotations for curriculum objectives
and modify,
organize, or create materials accordingly. They
will be required to
teach students, handle misconduct, implement
technology, document
attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make
bulletin boards,
compute grades, complete report cards, document
benchmarks, communicate with
parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must
also supervise recess
and monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete drills for fire,
tornados, and shooting
attacks.

They must attend workshops, (100 hours), faculty
meetings, union meetings, attend curriculum development meetings.
They must also tutor
those students who are behind and strive to get
their 2 non-English
speaking children proficient enough to take the
Terra Nova and EPA
tests. If they are sick or having a bad day they
must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing,
math, science, and
social studies into the program. They must maintain
discipline and
provide an educationally stimulating environment at
all times.

The business people will only have access to the
golf course on the
weekends, but on their new salary they will not be
able to afford it
any way. There will be no access to vendors who
want to take them out
to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes.
On days when they do
not have recess duty, the business people will be
permitted to use the
staff restroom as long as another survival
candidate is supervising
their class.

They will be provided with two 40-minute planning
periods per week while
their students are at specials.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of
necessary materials
at this time. The business people must continually
advance their education
on their own time and pay for this advanced
training themselves. This
can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job
or marrying someone
with money.

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her
job.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is
easy and to the ones
that know it is hard. They will both benefit!

Posted 1/25/07 5:47 PM
 

JustJack
:)

Member since 2/06

2041 total posts

Name:
J

Re: funny (but long) email about teaching

God, this is depressing. Why did I go into teaching again?Chat Icon

Posted 1/25/07 8:28 PM
 

daisy
Be happy

Member since 5/06

1359 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: funny (but long) email about teaching

This email is great...so true!!Chat Icon

Posted 1/25/07 9:01 PM
 

LaPetiteSirène
:)

Member since 8/06

5196 total posts

Name:

Re: funny (but long) email about teaching

That's awesome...

Posted 1/27/07 4:21 PM
 
 

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