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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Would you ever....
No, I wouldn't. It is a huge responsibililty and I would want to know that DH is ready for it too! UNLESS, I knew for SURE he wanted one and it was a gift- but I probably still wouldnt do that either... we would go together and look and choose together
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Posted 4/5/07 10:31 AM  |
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MsG
Should be working
Member since 5/05 2824 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Would you ever....
I bought 2 baby turtles once in Chinatown. I thought our dog would like to look at them while we were at work. 
As soon as he saw them, DH got really mad. He knew a lot more about turtles than I did, and he told me how they would get really big, and we needed a big tank for them, with a heater, a U/V light, water filter etc.
About $400 at the pet store later, we made a decent home for them in our apartment. And b/c I was dumb enough to bring them home w/out researching them first, I got to clean their tank every day. They smelled SO BAD!
And of course our dog never paid any attention to them.
When we moved to LI, we gave them to a turtle rescue in Lake Ronkonkoma. I felt badly at first, but the woman who ran the rescue had heated ponds in her yard, huge tanks in her house, and her place was super clean. She was turtle crazy, and still send me pictures of them.
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| Posted 4/5/07 10:31 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Would you ever....
It would have to be a discussion in most cases..
HOWEVER..if I rescued a dog or a cat and brought it home for safety, that's a diff. story. He knows that I would do that no questions asked! 
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| Posted 4/5/07 10:54 AM |
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meganNbobby
Our Family is Complete
Member since 5/05 2774 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: Would you ever....
i would.... if its only a dog though....
dh and i are both MAJOR animal lovers...
he would fall in love in a second...
however i would not be so keen if he brought home a snake or tarantula (sp)
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| Posted 4/5/07 11:24 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by MsMBV
I will tell you though I will NEVER come home with a python unannounced ever again
I did not know DH was terrified of snakes
I had a 13 foot burmese python before we started dating that got pneumonia & died. I loved that snake &wanted one after, but none of my landlords would ever allow it. Well since then Burmese pythons are illegal in NY, so I got a Ball Python, they only get to be 4 - 6 feet, but I figured this was OK B/c of the dogs anyway. I wish I had a camera for the look on DHs face when he saw it
Message edited 4/5/2007 12:47:11 PM.
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| Posted 4/5/07 12:47 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you ever....
it wasnt like i PLANNED on getting her without him knowing.
this is how it went down....
we were watching tv and saw a pom. i said "i want that dog". i started looking online for one. he KNEW this. he would come up behind me on the computer and roll his eyes.
then i found tofu and told the woman i would call back in 2 weeks to see if she was still available. this way i coudl talk him into it and plus not leave her when i go to vegas.
well, she called me yesterday and said it was the "now or never" type of a situation. so i, not expecting to get her yesterday hopped on a train and got her.
also, its different. i know dh veryyyyy well. i knew he would get over it in two minutes. and he did.
i made sure to tell him that it was a spur of the moment thing and that i didnt mean to disrespect our relationship.
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| Posted 4/5/07 12:55 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Would you ever....
The whole "it's now or never" thing would have turned me off immediately. I would think that it's irresponsible to adopt an animal out to someone who hasn't fully discussed the situation with their SO and made sure the other animals in the home are compatible.
I'm glad it worked out, and as a fellow animal lover I understand the want/need to rescue all the furbabies- but I feel that it's disrespectful to DH and irresponsible as a pet owner to make rash decisions.
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| Posted 4/5/07 1:03 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by ThusSpokeLaLolita
it wasnt like i PLANNED on getting her without him knowing.
this is how it went down....
we were watching tv and saw a pom. i said "i want that dog". i started looking online for one. he KNEW this. he would come up behind me on the computer and roll his eyes.
then i found tofu and told the woman i would call back in 2 weeks to see if she was still available. this way i coudl talk him into it and plus not leave her when i go to vegas.
well, she called me yesterday and said it was the "now or never" type of a situation. so i, not expecting to get her yesterday hopped on a train and got her.
also, its different. i know dh veryyyyy well. i knew he would get over it in two minutes. and he did.
i made sure to tell him that it was a spur of the moment thing and that i didnt mean to disrespect our relationship.
If Kev is anything like Will they know how we are & know we would not leave a dog in a bad home, especially if it isa dog we feel strongly about. Will is the same way, so we know that it is just a quirky thing in our relationship...every relationship has their "thing" KWIM
(I am still going to steal her )
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| Posted 4/5/07 1:12 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Would you ever....
It deifnitely depends on teh DH. If you know he's going to get over it, thenit's another story!
I think mine would get over it too, but I would still discuss it first, especilaly since it would be our first pet.
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| Posted 4/5/07 1:40 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you ever....
its funny, it seems like some people are/would be way more mad at me than my own DH is!
i think it depends on your relationship. if you guys are animal loveers or not. if you have pets or not. whether you seek one alone or if you find an animal roaming the streets. etc.
i think there is a huge grey area and no one could really give a definate yes or no answer.
[as i type this dh has just pulled Tofu on his lap and snuggled with her. Shh!]
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:02 PM |
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reggie
I love my boys!!
Member since 5/05 8044 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by Stacey1403
Never in a million. I wouldn't want him to do that to me so I wouldn't do it to him.
I agree. I feel it is best to BOTH agree on it.
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:08 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by Porrruss
The whole "it's now or never" thing would have turned me off immediately. I would think that it's irresponsible to adopt an animal out to someone who hasn't fully discussed the situation with their SO and made sure the other animals in the home are compatible.
I'm glad it worked out, and as a fellow animal lover I understand the want/need to rescue all the furbabies- but I feel that it's disrespectful to DH and irresponsible as a pet owner to make rash decisions.
I have to disagree.... I don't think it's irresponsible (depending on the person) to adopt an animal spur of the moment. Given the fact that this woman told Lolita "it's now or never" probably sparked in Lolita "I better get my tush over there so she doesn't hand her off to some crazy random person". We all know the love Lolita has for animals and her own furbabies, so even if she had no intention of keeping Tofu, at least she took the animal out of a potentially dangerous situation (that may sound dramatic, but I would've done the same thing).
I also don't think it was disrespectful. We all know our own SO better than anyone, so we would know how they would react in this situation. If I knew that my FH did NOT want another animal in the house but I brought one home anyway, that's disrespectful, but if having another animal in the house had been discussed in the past and this opportunity arose suddenly and a split second desicion needed to be made, than no, I dont' think it's direspectful.
ETA: Forgot to actually answer the question. If I KNEW that FH didn't want another pet, than no, I of course wouldnt bring one into the house without telling him. But if it was something we had been talking about for a while but never acted on it, than yes, I would.
Message edited 4/5/2007 2:22:57 PM.
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:15 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Would you ever....
No gray area here..... the most responsible thing to do is consult and take into account all members of a household before making the life-long decision to take in an animal. It's because of people who DON'T do this is why so many animals wind up unwanted and in shelters.
Of course we know you'll be a good mommy Jess- but you have to admit, even YOU have bashed others for doing the same thing.....
ETA: to the PP, the OP was asking "Would you ever".... So that was MY opinion
Message edited 4/5/2007 2:20:53 PM.
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:19 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by Porrruss
No gray area here..... the most responsible thing to do is consult and take into account all members of a household before making the life-long decision to take in an animal. It's because of people who DON'T do this is why so many animals wind up unwanted and in shelters.
Of course we know you'll be a good mommy Jess- but you have to admit, even YOU have bashed others for doing the same thing.....
ETA: to the PP, the OP was asking "Would you ever".... So that was MY opinion
I see where you're coming from completely. Perhaps I'm a little biased because I know what a good mommy Lolita is to her babies...
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:22 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you ever....
thank you kim! you're exactly right.
thats all i needed for her to do... drop the dog off in some kill shelter.
no way jose.
i knew we would eventually get one, and the situation arose.
i didnt really have enough time to discuss it with dh otherwise i obviousy would have. but things dont always pan out the way you want
bottom line. dog came from crappy home. now has loving forever home.
i'm the type of person who, even if i didnt intend on keeping her, would adopt her anyway in order to find her a good home. i've tried this before. its just about the dogs best interest.
if i thought for one second that dh would REALLY not have warmed up.... she wouldnt be here.
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:22 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by Porrruss
Of course we know you'll be a good mommy Jess- but you have to admit, even YOU have bashed others for doing the same thing.....
for getting a dog? 
not trying to be bytchy, i just honestly dont understand this comment.
eta: also, i mean, if thats what works for you, than thats what works for you. i think it honestly depends on the relationship and people at hand.
whatever works for one couple doesnt always work for another. when it comes to something like this, and how one couple deals with things i think is their own business. i dont really see this as a dog/cat issue as i do of it being a relationship issue. jmho
Message edited 4/5/2007 2:30:56 PM.
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:23 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by ThusSpokeLaLolita
Posted by Porrruss
Of course we know you'll be a good mommy Jess- but you have to admit, even YOU have bashed others for doing the same thing.....
for getting a dog?
Um, no- for not being completely prepared to take an animal into your home. That includes preparing others in the household....... You yourself said you weren't planning on even making the decision until after coming home from Vegas.
I'm not attacking you- but lets be honest- MOST animals that people give up wind up that way because the owner didn't take into account all aspects of adopting/buying that pet. THAT'S what I meant when I said you yourself have come down on people who didn't do their research.
I KNOW you'd never go that route- but I'm trying to shed some additional light on why some (icluding myself) may feel it (meaning:adopting an animal w/o consulting SO- not necessariy YOUR sitch) may not be the most responsible thing.
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| Posted 4/5/07 2:50 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you ever....
Ooooooh ok, I wasn't sure what you meant, I understand.
Ok, well that is a good way of looking at it.
I know I was prepared, I guess you mean DH not being prepared though. This makes sense, I know, I just also know him. At least it wasnt completely out of the blue, like I said he knew I was looking around.
You're right I am a bit hard on people who don't do their research and then get the dog and realize they can not keep it, but I did research the breed and I will never get rid of her. But like I said, your points are definatly very valid.
I most definatly don't recomend getting a dog without your SO knowing, it just kind of happened this time. But like I said, I definatly do not advocate it. (Just defending MY reasons for doing it)
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| Posted 4/5/07 3:06 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Would you ever....
 And enjoy your new furbaby!!
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| Posted 4/5/07 3:10 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you ever....
thanks mama!
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| Posted 4/5/07 3:17 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Would you ever....
I wouldn't have a baby without telling him!! So no...!
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| Posted 4/5/07 4:30 PM |
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alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you ever....
when i got sophie, DH and i were BF/GF and considered ourselves "serious" but we weren't engaged or even talking about it.
at that point, he was okay with "us" getting a dog - but everything would be under my name.
on the day i got sophie, he agreed to go to the pound to "check her out again" - but i got there a couple hours before him and there was another couple who also wanted her  . i sort of chased them away (long story), and then found out that if she wasn't adopted that day that she would be put down!!!! 
so... there was no question in my mind that she was coming home with me, and by the time DH got to the pound to see her she was already ours. he took it well and said he would learn to love whatever dog i had picked
so i guess i sort of got a dog without DH being as involved as he would have liked... now that we're married, though, i wouldn't do it.
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| Posted 4/5/07 9:42 PM |
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Re: Would you ever....
I wouldn't do it, but if I were more like Jess, I might think that my DH would kind of expect that I could walk in with a new dog at any moment.
Also, it is something we would really have to talk about, because my Oscar has such dominant tendencies. He loves other dogs but if one were to move in, we could have trouble with him, despite all the training.
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| Posted 4/8/07 11:57 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Would you ever....
Posted by Stacey1403
Never in a million. I wouldn't want him to do that to me so I wouldn't do it to him.
same here.
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| Posted 4/9/07 8:06 AM |
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