I'm so aggravated!!

My husband's best friend has a cabin upstate. Anyway, they go upstate every once in awhile. A few weekends back they went upstate and my husband made alot of stupid and ignorant comments towards his best friend's girlfriend (she is Philippino). They had a falling out and everyone went home with hurt feelings.

Anyway, I got an email from "former" best friend, saying they were not coming to Amber's party and that the damage is unrepairable. They are sorry to lose us as friends but considering my husband's comments, they can't move past it.

I'm so angry at him right now!! I've been friends with these people for 12 years. It's not like he has a ton of friends to begin with. So the impact is severe. I'm beyond twisted that his immature behavior now limits us from being friends with a great couple. He's a total product of his upbringing, since his father subscribes to the same type of idiot prejudice and ignorance. I feel like kicking the crap out of him right now!!

And no one "gets" why I don't introduce him to more of my friends..

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

Oh...That's horrible. I can totally understand why you would be upset! Doesn't you husband realize that his behavior is hurting you? Have you talked to him about it?

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

Wow, is there way that he can apologize to the couple and see if they can move on from it and still be friends?
I'm sorry Shar, I hope things can be work out.

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

Sharon, i'm sorry you're losing friends over his ignorant comments. Has he apologized to the girlfriend?? maybe he made a sincere apology and offered to do something nice for them (invite over for dinner), maybe the friendship can be saved??

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

Talk to DH and tell him that he should apologize to the girlfriend. It was terrible thing for him to do and let him know how ****** you are and that he better try to fix the problem he caused.

If DH did this to one of my friends I would not speak to him unless he tried to make amends...

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

I sent them an email, totally apologizing for his behavior. See, the problem is with someone so ignorant, they can't see that what they did is wrong. The boy is so totally self absorbed, he thinks the problem is with THEM for getting upset. After all, he was "only kidding" Why should I have to apologize for his atrocious behavior?? And I so don't wan't them to think that way of me. I hate to be 100% honest but I have such anxiety when I get together with my friend Jamelle (she's African-American) because I don't know what will "slip" in a joking manner. I'm so stressed out because they're coming to Amber's party and both Bob and his father (the king of all ignornace) will be there. I think they'll be a major beat down if ANY of my friends or guests are made to feel unwelcome or insulted.

This is the same issue I had a conversation with his mother about a few weeks ago. His father pulls the same sheet and everyone sort of poo-poo's it under the rug. I feel that he should be called on his actions RIGHT then and there, so he can fully comprehend the impact of his doings.

I'm so upset

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

that truly sux sharon

i mean i'm not the most PC guy in the world either, but you gotta know when to tone it down in mixed company

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this...

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

I am so sorry Sharon!!!!
I would definitely talk to him about this. Hopefully the friends will come around and your DH will tone down after this.

Good Luck!

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

Re: I'm so aggravated!!

I used to have a friend like that, and its true, they don't have any idea that they are doing/saying anything wrong.
Its kind of sad, but it got too embarassing to be around him that I had to walk away from the friendship.
That sux that you had to lose your friend like that.