Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

I am beating a dead horse, i apologize already--i am so unhappy at my new job i dont know what to do..

i have been here for 2 months..i was barely trained and was told i m too nice to customers and that i m asking too many questions--this was week one!

i started taking initiative trying to do assignments on my own without asking questions and then I got yelled at that it was wrong..

long story short today I was pulled into the boss's office and basically she said that i m messing up, and doing everything wrong, and i dont ask any qquestions (***!) and that if i keep this up "it is not going to work"

yesterday she was telling me something so i said ok..and then she said something else and i said ok..and her reponse what "stop ok'ing me" um...so what do u say then?

anyway after todays coinversation where she said "this isnt going to work" i mainly said ok so um what does that mean? r u letting me go..so shes like welll...we can give it another try...well...and i m like um ok...

and i spent all of lunch hysterical crying and i dont want to come back tomorrow..

mainly i feel like they want me to quit instead of firing me so i dont get unemployment...

how can i stay at a job like this?
i need to find a new one and am looking everywhere..and everything is real slow..

even if they did fire me i have only been here going on 3 months--i dont even think i would qualify for unemployment, i just want to quit..or keep calling in sick so they hafta fire me..

she is making me so miserable and makes me feel like a horrible horrible mornoic person..

i dont kno where to turn...i think my family and my boyfriend cant stand my complaining, but i truly cant take it anymore..i have panic attacks all day at my desk.. and i m just so miserable.

i m going on vacation in 1 week and i dont even feel excited, i feel like this job is ruining my life, my self esteem, my relationship--b/c i m so miserable being here..

:(

ty for reading if u got threw it all..

Message edited 8/21/2008 4:54:26 PM.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

Is the boss who told you that don't ask questions the same one that told you that asked too many?

I'd go back into her office & say that if she wants it to work, you need some clarification. Explain the contradictions they are giving you.

Try not to take it too personally. They obviosuy wnat someone who reads minds & knows excatly what to do & when to do (or perhaps a clone of the previous person, so they don't have to train or interact at all), so it's not anything you can really control.

If you aren't afraid of getting fired, just be as straight forward (but professional) as possible when they say something stupid.

Message edited 8/21/2008 5:02:49 PM.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

are you actively looking for another job? if not, you need to now. sounds like anything is better than what you are doing.

forget the fact you have noyl been there 2 months. who cares. you need to quit. its not working for you, its not working for them.

good luck!

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

For me, "stop saying OK" means that they aren't convinced that you really understand what you're supposed to do. Have you tried repeating back to them what you understand your next steps to be?

What kind of a job is it?

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

life is too short to be unhappy at your job.

what is it that you do?? have you been looking for a new job?

this is what i would do...
go in tomorrow.. walk into your boss' office with your head high and ASK QUESTIONS...

what is it that im doing wrong?
what would you like to see me do differently?
i know it might not be your personality but try to be a little 'confrontational' show your boss that you are not a push over that is just oking her and that you want to understand what (in her eyes you are doing wrong)
you need to take action instead of just being upset.

dont make any decisions until this meeting. if your boss is unreasonable then take steps to find a new job.
i wouldnt do anything until after your vacation. you dont want to be on vacation stressing over finding a new job when you get home.

good luck!!! i hope things work out!!!

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

Posted by Slightly-Taller

life is too short to be unhappy at your job.

what is it that you do?? have you been looking for a new job?

this is what i would do...
go in tomorrow.. walk into your boss' office with your head high and ASK QUESTIONS...

what is it that im doing wrong?
what would you like to see me do differently?
i know it might not be your personality but try to be a little 'confrontational' show your boss that you are not a push over that is just oking her and that you want to understand what (in her eyes you are doing wrong)
you need to take action instead of just being upset.

dont make any decisions until this meeting. if your boss is unreasonable then take steps to find a new job.
i wouldnt do anything until after your vacation. you dont want to be on vacation stressing over finding a new job when you get home.

good luck!!! i hope things work out!!!

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

Sorry you are going through this - just think about Aruba. DH and I went to the Divi on our honeymoon, and it was amazing...

I know how hard it is when you are unhappy at a job, and it consumes your life. Keep your head up and focus on everything you have accomplished outside of this place.

If I can help, let me know.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

I was at a job like this and they were notorious for never firing anyone they would make you so miserable that you HAD to quit so they could avoid unemployment. Just for spite I wouldnt give in. I would play the "perfect" employee card. I would walk into your boss' office and say I do not think I was trained right and I know you have some concerns about my performance so why dont we try both try and figure out how to solve this issue since I am here for the long haull. Let it be know that you're not going anywhere adn you dont want to leave. Sometimes just saying you're staying is enough to make them wanna leave

If things dont change, I would honestly consider, if you can, just leaving. Sometimes your health and well being are not worth the stress. I had to do that with the job I had before the one I have now. I had been looking and looking for months and couldnt find another job. Finally, I had enough and couldnt bring myself to go into work. I quit over the phone with no notice and never went back (and didnt feel any guilt either). Once I was out of there, I made finding a new job "my job" and within a week I had one.

Good Luck to you

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

I agree with the above poster's perspective. If things are really that bad (and they seem to be since you post daily that you are crying) you need to leave. I think if a week from now you are making looking for a new job, your FULL-TIME job, you will find something and be able to start within a month.

At a point, it's just not worth it to be going back and forth constantly with people at work, to have the last say, and to try to prove yourself right and get them to change because they are not going to.

Get out there and pound the pavement too literally. Don't rely on emailing resumes and such. Go into places, ask to fill out an application and network, network, network with everyone you can possibly think of.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

I wanted to thank everyone for the awesome advice. After not sleeping all nite and just going over everything in my head I KNOW that I need to leave this job. It is unhealthy and literally ruining the good things in my life.

B/c I have rent to pay and bills and am not married or living at home--too quit w/o a job lined up is not something I can do, but I am basically going to stick with this --so I can get a paycheck and if they fire me, so be it, but I am looking HARDCORE for a new job--even on their time.. I networked w/ numerous pple today that I knew from old jobs and am hoping to get some good leads next week.. Then I can hopefully go on vacation and start a new job when I come back. I am just going to keep contacting every1 who can possibly help me, and try to survive in the meantime at this place, just for the $$. Hopefully I wont hafta stay here much longer..

TY to everyone who offered opinion and advice

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

i know the feeling all too well of having daily panic attacks and crying b/c you are so miserable and I am so sorry to hear that it is happening to you. I wouldn't wish that on anyone! since you cannot quit for $$ reasons (and I was in that boat, too) then I would just do my job to the best of my abilities and that's it - don't talk to your boss unless absolutely necessary just come in, do what you have to and leave. in the meantime, definately look hard which i think you said you're doing. try your best (and i know this is challenging) to cut yourself off emotionally.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

sorry you're going through this. i really hope it gets better for you. if they let you go, its there loss. they'll be losi g a hard work. the trip will do you some good. it will help you relax

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

I was on the same boat as you. My job hired on a new manager and VP for our dept at the same time this past Dec and the new VP was known to be a strict perfect person. I was thrown 2 peoples job because they decided to fire a person without a backup. Also the VP wanted everything done in certain days and done right The new manager then gave me a bad review and say I was doing x and x wrong but the thing that ****** me off was that she was only there for 3 months and made the review on those 3 months. She had no clue what we did and never learned. I admit i make mistakes we all do but I was there for 1 1/2 years. I was livid because I worked my butt off and beat everyone is closing days for that past year and when i got no raise I sat and thought about the stress and emotions I was going through since then. 3 months later in June at the advise of my DH I quit and a few weeks ago I found another job and have been happy since. I didn't regret quitting because my health is important than any job.

If finances are an issue try and hold on as long as you can while looking for a job. That is what I did. You don't need to be treated like that. You rather be happy and enjoy your co workers. Good luck with what you decide and do. Enjoy your trip you deserve the relaxation.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

Best of luck to you. I've been where you are now and I know how hard it is, but it will get better.

Just be diligent on applying to new opportunities and take it from there.

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

Re: Today was the icing on the cake..could use guidance, hugs..long

can't add anything to what pp already said but want to give you things work out in the end and I'm sure it will for you too!