Continuing guilt over D&C

It has been 2 months since they told me that I had a blighted ovum. I had ivf and my dates were indisputable. I started out with low betas (15) but it doubled consistently. At 6w I had my first u/s. There was a nice sack but no pole and no hb. My RE said that was fine for where I was. I went back at 6w6d and there was just a sack He had me come back 2 days later and check to make sure. He told me then it was a blighted ovum. We saw that the sack was misshappen on that u/s and smaller than it was 2 days before. He told me to wait to miscarry naturally. I waited 2 1/2 weeks and then had a D&C as I had no spotting, nothing but cramping. I continually have feelings of guilt and wonder if I did the right thing. No one, my RE or ob would give me another u/s. I constantly question myself as to whether I should have insisted. I read all of the stories about fetal poles and hb showing up after 7 weeks and I feel so guilty.(not that I am not thrilled for anyone that has had this happen to them!) I know there is nothing I can do about it now but I feel so guilty over it.

Re: Continuing guilt over D&C

oh.. please do not feel guilty ...nothing was your fault..
i hate that these things happen to us and the pain that we suffer..
none of it is fair.. and it feels like we are being tortured..

there was nothing that you could have done.. dont let that hang over your head.. and you know that Dr. Braverman would never let you go through with a D& C if he thought it was viable, or the possibility of it being viable..

Re: Continuing guilt over D&C

You story sounds exactly like mine, I had a blighted ovum ... I had major guilt as well... I waited 10 weeks from week 6 they told me I would m/c naturally. i wanted it to happen naturally although I cant even imagine how painful it would be to actually see myself m/cing but at least it would give me the closure and the confirmation that it was not a viable pregnancy After a month of my life in limbo I knew I had to do a d&C.

Please do not feel guilty about it.... there is nothing that we could have done. I am so sorry you are feeling this way... the pain from all of this is just unfair....

Re: Continuing guilt over D&C

I think no matter what we do we will always feel guilty and wonder what if....I wish I would have had another u/s before my D&C.....I only had the one in the ER and nothing else, no more blood tests or anything. I guess the difference is we had seen and heard the hb twice, and then nothing and no growth. I will always regret not pushing harder for 1 more u/s to confirm it and to *see* the baby one last time. During the ER visit they did not let me see the screen so my last memory is seeing a beating heart I know I should be grateful, but i'm not....I needed to see the reality of what happened

Re: Continuing guilt over D&C

Please dont feel guilty. The drs were right and you were not going to have a baby. I had the same thing (blighted ovum). I went in for 2nd opinion sono and there was NOTHING. By 6 wks sweetie there should be all of what you (and i ) had missing AND 90% of the time a HB.

I think you did the right thing. In a few mons you will be TTC again i promise

Re: Continuing guilt over D&C

Don't feel guilty-you did nothing wrong. Before my MC was definitive, I come across all sorts of stories that gave me false hope. Some people do get those miracles, but for the most part the doctors know what they are seeing. Please do not feel guilty over this at all!

Re: Continuing guilt over D&C

Amanda there was nothing you could've done. Please don't feel guilty, you were in limbo and needed to be able to move on.... not only for yourself, but for your DC and DH.

Message edited 3/9/2009 11:31:46 PM.