Moms who already have one or two...or more...

How have you felt since your miscarriage?

I feel a tremendous amount of guilt over the sorrow I do feel over this miscarriage. So many people have told me I should be happy I have my two girls...and I am. Tremendously. If I could have written a script for my life, that's exactly what I would have wanted. But I still feel my story is not complete and I feel so ungrateful.

We "sort of" tried this past month even though my doctor advised me to wait two cycles. Well, I got AF this morning and I feel as though I miscarried all over again. I guess I got my hopes too high. And to top if off, I'm beating myself up over it. I know I should move on.

Can any moms relate or offer any words of wisdom...

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

I am right there with you! I have 2 boys, and mc on Jan 2nd. I just got my 2nd AF, and was totally disapointed! So i hear ya! You shouldn't feel guilt at all! I know I don't, I know I love my 2 boys more then life itself, as you do your girls... but that doesn't change the fact that you just lost a baby!! Take time to heal... I don't have words of wisdom, just that it it will get a little easier as time goes on... (at least I hope) I still think about it every day. You will move forward all in time!! Good luck TTC again!!!

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

When I was going through infertility to conceive #2 this is what I was confronted with constantly - that I should just be happy with Alex. Truth is, I DESPERATELY wanted to feel that way, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. This is a biological yearning that just can't be shutoff with the flip of a switch just because you already have a child or chilren. And unfortunately, until you are in that position where you are faced with the possibility that you won't be able to fulfill that yearning, it's just impossible to understand the myriad of emotions, most notably, guilt. I understand, and I assure you that what you are feeling is normal and nothing to be ashamed of

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

Thanks girls. You know, this morning I was lying in bed and thought I would come down and delete the post--I felt ashamed even writing it. Thanks for validating my feelings!

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

Posted by Bxgell2

When I was going through infertility to conceive #2 this is what I was confronted with constantly - that I should just be happy with Alex. Truth is, I DESPERATELY wanted to feel that way, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. This is a biological yearning that just can't be shutoff with the flip of a switch just because you already have a child or chilren. And unfortunately, until you are in that position where you are faced with the possibility that you won't be able to fulfill that yearning, it's just impossible to understand the myriad of emotions, most notably, guilt. I understand, and I assure you that what you are feeling is normal and nothing to be ashamed of

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

I'm with you 100%

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

ITA, I have a wonderful little boy who I love more than life itself but I loved that baby growing inside of me as sooon as I found out too. So as much as I love him it doesn't take the pain and grief I felt over having m/c'ed. Its not that you're ungrateful its that you experienced a loss and being a mom already doesn't change that.

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

I cannot relate specifically since I have never had a miscarriage but I think it is tremendously insensitive for people to say "be thankful that you have 2 children", as if you are not

You have EVERY right to be upset and mourn the loss of your baby, no matter how many children you have

Re: Moms who already have one or two...or more...

I am incredibly grateful for DD but it doesn't mean I cannot still feel the loss of the one that might have been. It is possible to feel a range of conflicting emotions-at least for me