SM's out there (Xmas/Holiday Related)

How do you handle the holidays with SKs?

I typically do all of the shopping in our home for birthday/christmas/any kind of gifts that we give anyone - DH slacks and the last minute we scramble.

Well - I think I may have gone overboard trying to overcompensate for our 'rocky start' - SD is 6 and we had a rough start to our relationship as me being her SM - We only see her one day a week after school and EOW - I literally NEED to STOP shopping for her...DH was a little shocked to see how much I did for just her so far (he is keen to my 'turning over a new leaf as a family') .. Plus with TTCing - we may have a little one next year, I'd like her to have an oversized christmas before she would have to 'share Santa'... KWIM?

We have 7 contractor size bags full of Xmas presents in the attic (all wrapped) - AND she is getting a puppy for christmas...

And honestly, I CANT pull myself OFF of the TRU website because they have 40% off these Sponge Bob movies that she wants... But I want to buy them ALL...

How are you handling shopping for SKs?

Re: SM's out there (Xmas/Holiday Related)

Wow, sounds like your SD is going to have some C-Mas !!!

I too am the shopper in my house, not to mention that I love shopping for girls

The only down-fall to overdoing it, is that hopefully it is not expected every year....If you feel it may be over-kill, can you put some aside for her birthday ?
( or even her Easter basket, Valentines Day etc...??

Re: SM's out there (Xmas/Holiday Related)

Wow, that is one massive Christmas!

We celebrate Chanukah, and we don't see SS for each night, just for a few of them. We also are the types of people (and we came from families this way) that do one "major" present and if anything else, it is smaller, trinket-type of stuff. So we usually get SS one large gift (like a big building set of something) and then maybe some smaller things, like a new stuffed animal or some new books to read. He still winds up with too much stuff -- because my parents get him a good present, and then DH's parents get him something, and DH's brother, etc. So each year he probably winds up with 3-4 "large" presents and maybe a handful of new books, etc.

And that is just at our house! I don't even know what happens at BMs!

Re: SM's out there (Xmas/Holiday Related)

hmmm....if there are going to be lean years or sharing years, then i would try to do what you'd normally do without tryint to overcompensate to "win" DSC over...I've learned, unfortunately, that it doesn't matter how much you spend or what you do, they're going to love you or hate you regardless...we always do what we can, but won't put ourselves into debt b/c the bm will always try to outshine our gifts for SS - I'm tired of giving it...

anyway, we do a bigger gift and clothes, he gets gifts from everyone else and really only plays with the big item and the stocking stuffers...

good luck with your new christmas!

Re: SM's out there (Xmas/Holiday Related)

i would steer clear of "overcompensating." Like a previous poster said, they will either like you or they won't. The more you do, the more resentful you will be when things go awry. Also, children seem to not realize that you are going "overboard." They just learn to expect that much next time and it could lead to a huge disappointment next Christmas as well as major resentment towards your new baby who will ultimately be to blame. I think this would happen with even a biological child, let alone a step.

Message edited 11/22/2009 9:27:25 AM.

Re: SM's out there (Xmas/Holiday Related)

I can identify. I definitely had the tendency to compensate for my crappy "parenting" back in the day. I still LOVE to buy for my SD b/c it's so much fun. Plus she's a great kid and I want her to be happy.

BUT, like PP said, I realized last year when she literally had 37 presents to open at our house that we could never afford to do that if there were more kids around. That's really not fair to either SD or my future kids who will be getting the shaft. LOL So this year, I really am setting a limit and sticking to it. That way, when she has new siblings. she can't be resentful of them for her less than over the top xmas that she is used to.