Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

Today we went to my parents house and celebrated christmas with my family and SS came with us. My parents bought him a few gifts and he never said thank you to them! When he opened them he didnt say thank you and when we were leaving DH and I were saying goodbye and thanking my parents and SS just stood there! I was standing near SS and gave him a little nudge and under my breath I said to him "say thank you" And he just walked away and said nothing! Im furious! He's nine years old not two, and should know that when someone gives you a gift you say thank you! Im extremely mortified and know my family is going to say something about this when i talk to them tomorrow! Im so sick of this kids bratty attitude!!!!! Im going to tell my family to not even bother getting him anything next year because he obviously doesnt appreciate it!!

Re: Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

My eldest stepdaughter does have manners and will say please, thank you, etc....

The 7 year old, on the other hand, is rather rude. They make excuses for her saying she is "shy" etc....I dont feel that this is enough reason for not answering adults when they speak to you, not saying thank you, etc....

It's funny b/c she is "shy" but doesnt have an issue when it comes to telling you she doesnt like something...

Have you spoken to your DH about this? I have kids of my own as well as one with DH. He knows that I wont stand for rudeness or ill manners at all. So he tends to make sure that she isnt rude.

Re: Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

I have 2 SS and they before DH and I got married they did not know how to act in other ppls homes (like my moms). I felt I was in no place to say anything, when we got married things changed and I teach them what proper and what's not. If any of SS would have not said TY after I tell them that they should I would simply take away the gifts until they say TY and apologize for not doing so sooner. DH has no problems with me disciplining his kids, as I'm pretty good at it and he's not. But I think that would have been the solution and he would have learned from this experience.

Re: Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

I am the queen of stepkids with no manners at all!!! So frustrating!!! You should feel free to speak up when something like that happens. One time my mother was at my house and SD was there and she shyly said hi to my mother and kept walking after my mother said Hi, Jen , how are you? My mother bodly turned around to her and said, I asked you how you were and said hello, come back here and give me a hug! SD did, and from then on she hugs me whenever she leaves the house. SPEAK UP!

Re: Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

my SD is nearly 15 years old and still has no manners...and I mean when I said "hi xyz, Merry Christmas" she ignored me and at the end of the day when I said "bye, Merry Christmas" again she ignored me...when I discussed it with DH....he turned it around on me and I was the "wrong" one for whatever lame reason he could come up with.

My point is .....definately put a stop to it now at this age, b/c at 15, it will be so much harder and it is even harder without a DH to back you up.

GL!

Re: Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

As a SD, I think it's a good idea to say something the moment you notice it. You may be a step, but you're still a parent and can teach the SS manners by explaining what your expectations are. It'll be easier when he's 9 than when he's 15 or 23.

My stepfather calmly told me what he expected of my sister and me and I had more respect for him....we could walk all over my stepmother, on the other hand.

I now know she probably felt the same way as my stepdad but wasn't as comfortable telling us.

Good luck, but speak up.

Re: Anyone else have stepkids with no manners?

Oh gail! Tell that brat to shape up. If it makes you feel better my little sis (8 yrs old) doesnt say thank you unless you make her, maybe its the age who knows!