Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

So after you give birth, do you expect visitors?

I'm a bad relative I just send flowers and make my mother go for me to apologize for my busy schedule.

My mother insists that every blood relative must come visit you! When my SIL gave birth I just sent my husband and told him to give them flowers from me. I think they were okay with it. Her MIL didn't even visit her in the hospital, and she didn't seem to mind, so I wonder if its not a bit deal.

My mom got on my case, and said what a rude thing I did, she's close family, my SIL, I should have come in person. I don't really know them that well, I mean they never even ask me to babysit they older DC.

Who do you expect to visit you in the hospital after you give birth?

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I didn't expect extended family to visit. I had both of our parents, my grandfather, my two aunts (their husbands and kids stayed home), a 3rd cousin and her mom (didn't expect them to come at all), and my sister visit. My brother was working so he couldn't make it, which was totally fine-he visited at home the next day.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I definitely do not expect a lot of people to come see me in the hospital.

When DS was born, my parents came to see me, MIL, FIL (and his girlfriend and her daughter) and my brother and SIL. Oh, and DH friend.

That was pretty much it. Well, I also happened to be in the hospital the same weekend that my cousin was getting married... but I still wouldn't expect anyone else to come see us.

ETA: Personally, feeling all tired and not looking my best, I'm not sure I want a lot of people coming to see me anyway.

Message edited 10/9/2009 12:10:12 PM.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I hate visitors at the hospital. Hopefully no one other than my parents and brother will come, because I can tell them to leave whenever I want- haha. Last time it was so annoying. My DH's family kept randomly stopping by and I was still learning to breastfeed and they would just stand there. Ugh I wanted to kick them in the face. Then to top things off, they would critique what I was doing....Seriously it was ridiculous. I was in pain from the C section, trying to breastfeed a newborn and they just stand there watching and asking me why I was using the football hold (which they told me to use in the hospital). I think the less visitors the better.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I think I'd die if every blood relative came to visit me. I think I only want my immediate family to come (and best friend). I couldn't stand the though of having everyone there right after I've given birth and am trying to breast feed. Ew, no way!

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I seriously think it should only be my parents & bro & Sis (even she's even home cuz she goes to school in Mass) and FIL & his wife. I Have a feeling some of our friends will try to come and maybe a few aunts/cousins on my side. But really, I don't want many ppl at the hospital. It's such a short stay, I'll be exhausted and probably a mess (emotionally & physically) and want to just spend time with DH & DC.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

Only immediate family. When DD was born, DH was talking about his uncle and cousin coming to visit and I was like

I did not want a lot of people there. I was a new mom and had no idea what I would feel or look like. I was very emotional in the hospital and felt/looked like crap. Also, the germ idea bothered me. DH's niece (4yo) came to visit and she kept coughing, I was freaked out. SIL kept saying-oh it is just allergies, but to me it is still germs coming out of her mouth!

It should be what you want

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

My siblings are not married, but one of them is in a LD relationship. She called me.

Who came:
DH
ds
my parents
both of my brothers
my grandma
my in-laws

my BIL has a bad cold. He called me the day before my c/s to let me decide what to do. He is meeting my DD for the first time tomorrow. For DS he was there in the hospital.

I personally feel that if you are a sibling or a sister in law, grandparent, aunt or uncle you should visit the new mom in the hospital. I do not have any aunts or uncles. DHs aunt is in California. She is flying out for the family party later this month. Which is fine as she is so far away.

ETA: Some of my friends came to visit me in the hospital and two days after we came home to bring food.

Message edited 10/9/2009 12:17:31 PM.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I'm really only hoping immediate family visits me. I think I would rather be alone with my DH & my new .

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I would expect that immediate family (that means you Barb! ) and close friends. Other relatives, even blood, I really don't speak to every day, so maybe a card when I got home or a shoutout on facebook...that's all I'd expect. In fact, I don't know that I'd expect anything from anyone except my mom and DH My mom won't be visiting me in the hospital and won't be there when DS is born which is totally killing me, but she lives in Florida...so, I wanted her up when I got home (I'm a planned c-section and will be in the hospital for 5 days). I just felt it was a waste for her to come up and be here for 5 days just hanging around...

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I only expect my immediate family and my two bff's that i have known for 30 years to come for a quick visit

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I know our parents and most of our siblings will come visit us in the hospital and maybe a few close friends. Because of where our siblings live, it may be hard for all of them to visit us in the hospital if arrives during the week, but I know they will all visit us as soon as they can!

Message edited 10/9/2009 1:21:40 PM.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I'm expecting our parents, some relatives and friends. We're both only children.

When DH's BFFs had babies, his other BFFs went to visit in the hospital but, we didn't, we waited a week or two (felt weird going to visit) - but, I'm expecting some of them will come to see us because it's what they do.

I've only gone to visit one of my best friends, DH's cousin (DH views her as a sister) and my aunts (way back when) in the hospital.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I know we will have a big crowd - DH's extended family will all be there and I'm pretty sure a bunch of friends/coworkers will come. I am having a planned c-section and with twins, trying to BF, I know I won't want anyone there.

If it were up to me I'd have DH, my parents and ILs and that's it. My brother and BIL are both OOS and will likely fly in the following weekend when we are home already. I wish my BF could be there but she is OOS too and will be there a few weeks after they are born.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I only expect parents and siblings to visit.

I would prefer that people stop by my home when I am back in my element, rather than the hospital.

But then again, I have never stayed in a hospital, so maybe my mind will change after I deliver

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I expect my entire family to visit, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. We all visited my aunt when she just had her baby. I guess it depends on how close you are. I don't think you're obligated as long as you send well wishes.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

i only expected my parents, sisters, and ILs to visit. any my grandparents. i had a few other friends visit but no other relatives (no one else lives in NY anyway).

DS is 13 months old and NONE of my other relatives (on my side) have met him yet.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I didnt want any visitors---but immediate family, in-laws and cousins came--and some friends---it was horrible

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

Family and whatever friends would like to

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I don't have a very big family. So last time around it was my mom, dad, sisters, 1 aunt and cousins, and my ILs.

My DH's friend tried to make it to visiting hours, but at St Charles it's only 7-8 and he couldn't make it on time.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

No one visited me in the hospital except one friend I've been friends with since HS (who I visited both times she gave birth).

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

I did not expect extended family. However, I DID expect some friends who did not come, or call, or send anything.
I am still upset about it.

ETA: they did not call, visit, or send anything when we got home either.

Message edited 10/9/2009 2:39:53 PM.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

when I gave birth with DD everyone came.. this time around I am requesting only my mom and dad.. MAYBE my brother & sister... but honestly, so tired and so run down after giving birth (and I Had c-section) that I just want to rest.

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

If anyone other than my mom, dad, and 3 sisters come to visit me, I think I might turn them away at the door.

Seriously, I'd like that time in the hospital to be as quiet and stress free as possible!

Re: Good Manners Question - who visits you in the hospital?

My parents, IL's, BIL & FSIL are really all I want to come to the hospital.