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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
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Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
Just a funny email I wanted to share 
Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school
Seriously. I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?”
is finally over. I’ve had looked at your face twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something. No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again. There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.
Misconception Number 2: Moms like to go school shopping.
Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes?…so I can rack up a 200 dollar bill at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers. Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, broken strawberry shortcake pencils sitting in the bottom of the toy box for the last 6 months? And how many subject books can you possibly need? What happened to reading, writing and arithmetic. If they added a couple of things for parents to that list I wouldn’t mind so much….why not pencils, erasers and vodka …..or some Nyquil.
Misconception Number 3: Moms like back to school night.
Why must we do this every year? I got it already. You’re the teacher…I’m the parent. My kid is either going to be smart or dumb. If he gets a certain number or colored dot on his discipline chart, he can’t get a prize from the prize box. Pretty simple stuff. Listen, I’m pretty old school. If he doesn’t listen to you…you can throw something at him. I don’t care. But I got a lot of work to do at home and I’m paying a babysitter right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure you are going to assign some project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe I’ve never heard of, so I need to get home and start my research. So, I got it. We’re all here for the betterment of the kids. Blah Blah Blah. Can I leave now?
Misconception Number 4: Moms like school paperwork.
How many trees are you planning on killing to tell me the same stuff I had to pay a babysitter to listen to the other night? You know our name, where we live and our emergency phone numbers. He doesn’t have a nickname….call him “stinkbutt” for all I care. We don’t have any “special circumstances” that you need to know about. He lives in a home with two parents who may or may not like each other at any given time and they will fight. If that qualifies as a reason he can’t get his homework done on time then he won’t be able to function as an adult and have a real job so you may want to “educate” him on that life lesson.
Misconception Number 5: Moms like covering books in that annoying sticky paper.
What exactly will you be doing with these books that I have to cover them in a plastic laminate? Do you often teach in the rain? Or while the children are drinking soda and eating soup? Do you know how long that takes? Has any parent in the history of education been able to do it without any air bubbles in it? From now on I’m covering it the old way…brown paper bags. That way I can cover the books and pack their lunches at that same time. Who says moms can’t multitask?
PS. Please tell my son if he can’t find his lunch to look in his science book.
Misconception Number 6: Moms like helping you with your homework.
What? I am scared out of my mind. I’m pretty sure that I forgot everything I learned in fifth grade by the time I was in sixth grade. I have no idea what you are talking about most days. I don’t really know my 12 times tables, I read the cliff notes to all your summer reading and I don’t know how to conjugate anything but I do know that song “conjuction junction what’s your function” if that helps at all. And please don’t even say the words “new math” to me. What the heck was wrong the old one?
Misconception Number 7: Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch every day until we die.
I hate doing laundry. Making dinner every night is the bane of my existence, so making your lunch every day for an entire year, in terms of “mom fun”, lies somewhere between brushing plaque off the dogs teeth and scheduling my annual pap smear. Listen, as a child I hated what my mom packed me for lunch. But, like every kid before me, and every generation to come you will find a kid to trade with…I’m sure someone likes sardines.
Misconception Number 8: Moms love after school activities.
I don’t know who made up this idea of organized clubs and sports but they should be the ones in charge of carting your *** around. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against all after school programs. I just wish they would offer it during hours that would work best for me so that dinner wasn’t at 8:30 at night followed by 4 hours of homework. Why not do it on the weekends and call it “after-hours activities” so mommy and daddy could actually go out one night and pretend that we have a life of our own. Don’t worry about us though I’m sure that me and “what’s his name” will be married a very long time.
Misconception Number 9: Moms don’t mind taking you to school if you miss the bus
Your bus comes at 7:10 am….which means that you should be standing by the door at 7:05 am. Not eating breakfast, chasing the dog around the house or in the bathroom, asking me to check your homework while I’m taking a shower. Get it together! I don’t like running down the street in my jammies at 7:12 screaming “Please wait” or “If you stop I’ll show you my boobies.”
Misconception Number 10: Moms cry on your first day of school
We do cry but they are tears of joy. I have done my job. I have successfully kept a human child alive for at least 5 years without doing any major damage. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world!! Sure, doctors save lives and CEO’s run million dollar businesses but…you teach a kid not to poop their pants and then you can say you’ve made the world a better place.”
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Posted 9/2/10 3:14 PM  |
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JennasMom
?**?
Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
Name:
does it matter
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
Love it !!!
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| Posted 9/2/10 3:19 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
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| Posted 9/2/10 3:37 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
AWE.SOME, PIMP
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| Posted 9/2/10 3:42 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
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| Posted 9/2/10 4:39 PM |
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cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name:
Tammy
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
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| Posted 9/2/10 9:16 PM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 9/2/10 11:18 PM |
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capricorn75
J-E-T-S
Member since 5/05 1645 total posts
Name:
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
HAHAHA!! Love it!!
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| Posted 9/3/10 8:14 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
Am I the only one who does not find this funny?
Obviously in the minority here as I truly DO like all the things that this email says moms don't like 
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| Posted 9/3/10 8:28 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
there are some good ones in there - reminds me of the Staples commercial
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| Posted 9/3/10 11:10 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
I don't even have kids in school and I find this funny.
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| Posted 9/3/10 11:36 AM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
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| Posted 9/3/10 5:19 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
This is my favorite commercial EVER! I hate that they don't run it any more.
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| Posted 9/3/10 5:32 PM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
LOVE IT!
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| Posted 9/3/10 7:05 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
I so have to print this up and post it on the fridge...
It will save me from a ton of arguments....
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| Posted 9/4/10 1:31 PM |
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nymommy2be
I love the summer
Member since 1/06 2063 total posts
Name:
Kara
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
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| Posted 9/4/10 7:51 PM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
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| Posted 9/5/10 10:30 AM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
LOVE THIS!!!!
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| Posted 9/5/10 6:27 PM |
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Twstdvenus1
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/10 777 total posts
Name:
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
DD1 is starting kindergarten tomorrow.... and even though I know I will be in tears in 24hours...this post had me laughing cause come next year....or maybe Wednesday LOL all these things are probably going to be so true for me
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| Posted 9/6/10 8:46 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
While I still have a year until Kindergarten and already tear up at the prospects of my "baby" growing up, I still find this to be AWESOME!!!!
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| Posted 9/6/10 10:50 PM |
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