thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

so many times, i've heard that the way to get over the loss of a pet is to spend your time caring for a new one.

should i consider this for my son?

i won't make a decision so soon after odie's death, but i'd like to hear some opinions on the matter and if you really feel it could help tommy deal with the loss.

thanks

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

Im so sorry about Odie! Your poor son to experience it the way he did.

My mom always said that when my dog died, she would wait a few months. The day after we had to put my dog to sleep, she was at the shelter and in walked her puppy (with a cast and lampshade!). Needless to say, she fell in love. I wanted her to go out right away. It's not replacing the pet AT ALL!!!! It's just that the void is so hard to fill and getting a new pet that NEEDS you helps a lot. Again, it's not replacing the pet.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

For me when I was younger it def helped. I wouldnt do it right away, maybe a few weeks or even months. Let your son mourn a little. It is helathy. I would just be there for him, which I am sure you are. Let him talk about it freely but dont force it on him. To be honest with you, I still have not gotten over pets that I have loved so deeply and then lost. I dont think I ever will. The hustle and bustle of life keep my mind off of it. If and when you get a new pet make sure you include your son in the desicion. Good luck, I am so sorry for you and your family.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

I Think it's really just a personal choice. Our family dog passed away about 6 wks ago, and it was absolutely devastating. Our entire family was just heartbroken.

My dad said that he didn't want another dog for a long time. But now, my sisters dog just had puppies and it looks like he will take one of them. He just misses having a dog so badly. Part of me doesn't want a "replacement" so soon, while another part does miss having a dog around. (My dad will bring the dog to the office with us as he did daily with our other one, so I'll be around it 5 days a week like before.)

Maybe wait a few weeks before the decision to bring in a new dog? See how you feel at that point.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

I just saw what happened. I would ask you son , See what he feels. I too lost a dog from a car accident. I thought I would wait months. I ended up waiting a week. My other dog was showing signs of depression. I went to Brookhaven shelter and right behind the counter was my Mystic, Scary how much she looked like my Sherice. She was perfect, for me. Kryssy on the other hand was just not ready, So I said ok but lets just go take a look. I brought her to see Mystic and it was instant love. So leave it up to him. Maybe go yourself to take a look. have a few in mind. Then bring him. to look. If he is up to it. (((hugs)))

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

Honestly it IS a personal decision and everyone is different, but with ME only I find that my heart and home are open and while it isn't a replacement if I have the love and room to give it is wrong to keep them closed because of an animal's passing.

Also there are so many in need of a home and I'd like to think our "family members" we lost would have wanted us adopt someone else looking for a home.

I also think with ME that the sadness I feel is helped by having a new focus which is a new animal to get to know and take care of.

I am so sorry for your loss that is truly tragic, since it happened to your son I would definitely ask his opinion first and let him greive a bit if he needed it. Then maybe I would take him to the shelter and let him have a hand in picking out a new family member.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

it all depends on when you guys are ready again. in my family the shortest we went without a dog i believer was 2 months. and the longest was 11 months.

after the last dog died ( we were all sooo attached to her) my dad said never again, well guess what the house was just not the same and then one day he said ok we are going to north shore to look and we brought one home!

you guys will know when you are ready.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

I know it's a different situation but about 1 1/2 ago someone took my dad's dog (which he loved and treated like family)..we were all devastated and he was so sad. About a week later he bought another dog and it def. helped him. He loves this dog just as much as the other!

Sorry again for your loss..I know how hard it is.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

What if you help your DS by having him rescue a dog in need, so maybe he feels his loss of his beloved pet has somehow helped another animal in need (who may be suffering in another way, needing a loving home)?

I think it's a great idea, but only you can decide if it's right for your family/son.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

My parents have always been animal people (they have two dogs and two cats, it's been that way since I was about 4). The first time I can remember (I was 11) it was about 6-8 weeks before they got a new dog. When our dogs passed last time (at age 13 and 14, about two weeks apart) they waited about 4 months. I would give your son time to heal. And it's not like you're replacing Odie, you're just adding another member to your family.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

It helped me. After our beloved Buddy passed away due to seizures I was unable to be the first person home. I would wait around for my DH to come home so I wouldnt have to be alone. I cried every day for a month. He was my first dog and helped me cope my mother's death.

After a month of this I talked to DH and asked about fostering a dog. I was not ready to have a dog yet but I felt I would be able to foster one and help save a life and give a dog a loving home until they find their forever home.

In the end we fostered two dogs. Casey (pit bull) who was adopted and then it didnt work out and she came back to us and we adopted her and Remby (poodle) who was later adopted.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Message edited 4/22/2011 10:10:08 AM.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

It always helped me.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

I'm so sorry for your loss!!

It really is a personal decision/feeling. Growing up, my mom always got a puppy while the older dog was still around. And I always thought that is what I would do. When I had to put my baby girl down - I swore it would be months before I got another (even though I had my old boy around)... I lasted about a week before we went to NSAL and got my Delilah. And it was the same thing when the old boy finally went to the Rainbow Bridge - two days later we got Sam.

Your situation is definitely different - but I agree with discussing it with the family first - see how they all feel about it.

Personally, while one pet never replaces another - having the distraction of a new 'baby' in the house always helped me get over the grief.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

First I am SO sorry for your loss. I just wanted to share something my vet had shared with my husband and I after we lost our dog. He was very clear on waiting a little bit before getting a new dog, even if theres an urge to get one right away. He explained that its hard to separate your feelings between your new dog and old one. The tendency is to compare the two and it's really hard to have the patience needed for a new puppy while you're still mourning.

We ended up waiting a few months, and even though it was hard, it was the right decision for us. Hope that helps, either way it's going to be a completely personal decision but I thought our experience might help.

Good luck

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

thank you for sharing your experiences.

tommy seems to be a lot better, today. he's participating in the day's activities and his hand doesn't seem to be bothering him (although, i'll be examining it in a few).

SO and i talked about a new pet, but have decided to wait until we feel that tommy has had a chance to mourn odie in his own way.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

2 months after Pyxie died we got Balthazar. I know that no matter what happens in our lives, we will always have dogs. The breeder had a litter, and had several pet-home-only Danes available. It just seemed right, and Zar has been a great addition to our family.

I wanted to add (and this is by no means a dig to the PP) that Pyxie was a small naked Chinese Crested, and Zar is a Great Dane. We never compare them - ever. If anything, Zar reminds us of my DH Pit mix from his teens.

Message edited 4/23/2011 3:55:20 PM.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

My boss did this, they waited a while and found a dog on petfinder from a shelter down in Georgia and just fell in love with him and his whole story and getting him rescued and into a loving FUR-ever home. It took away a lot of the pain because you are now saving another life that might otherwise not have a home.
They love him and are now buying a new house with more land so their new pup has a HUGE yard to run around in.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

I was just in this position. About two weeks ago, my maltese (Nikki) died out of nowhere. She was old, but had great energy; everyone always thought she was a puppy. She died in the car on the way to the emergency room and needless to say, we were heartbroken. The timing also could not have been worse - we had just been told a few days earlier that after our buyer wanted to close early (and we moved), she changed her mind and the house is falling out of contract. It's been a very rough few weeks for us.

We buried Nikki and my ILs asked if we wanted to get another dog. I said never again - I couldn't deal with the heartbreak. I stayed home from work the next day and DH suggested we go look at puppies just to cheer us up. I said fine but no way was I getting a dog.

Well... we came home with an 8 week old maltipoo who we named Chloe. She will never replace Nikki but she is helping us in a big way. I think we needed to be needed after everything we've been going through.

Everyone is different and I think it depends on the situation. I suspect that if I had not been in the place where I was two weeks ago, we wouldn't have gotten another dog so fast. At first I thought it was a mistake to be honest but now I'm happy that Chloe is here.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

It is definitely a personal decision. When Schultz died 2 years ago, suddenly, I was beyond devastated, there was no way I was immeditely ready for another dog and definitely not a dog that resembled him in the least. I ended up getting Logan about 3 months after Schultz died, I thought that it would help me, distract me. He was definitely a distraction - a 10 week old puppy with a penchant for trouble.
Five months later I ended up with another dog - Sam - a rescue, no one would have taken him, he has alot of issues, most of which we have worked out.

Anyway, I love both of my boys, but honestly, getting Logan was only a distraction. I thought loving another dog would help heal my broken heart over Schultz, but it didn't. It may not be the same for you, everyone is different. It may sound silly, but Schultz and I were like two parts of whole. Losing him so early and tragically took a piece of my heart I'll never get back.

Take your time, the right dog will come into your life at the right time, you will know it. If you are unsure, it's not the right time, you will feel when it is right, trust your instincts.

Re: thoughts on the morning after... getting over the loss of a pet... get a new one????

I'm so sorry again! I know it was a sudden loss.

In my family growing up (and DH's family) we always had 2 dogs, and got the second dog when the first was a bit older. It just sort of happened that way, but then when the older dog died, the house wasn't so empty because the other dog was there. I think the hardest part is having an empty house. An animal changes the whole house dynamic. So if it were me, I would definitely get another dog soon. Having another dog doesn't mean you won't miss Odie any less. It will just make being in the house a little easier.