Almost 3 but hitting the terrible 2's now??

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks. The last month has been torture. I know he's comprehending more and using alot more words now but the tantrums are out of control. He shreeks SO loud and the slightest indication of things not going his way. This is SUCH new territory for me. I feel like we did have a period of this when he turned 2 but it wasn't this bad. This is ear-piercing, brain-numbing, skin-crawling shreeking. All I can do is just put him on the couch and walk away. If I keep paying attention to him during it, it worsens. So I plop him on the couch and leave the room.

Please, please, please someone tell me this is a phase and it will pass. I'm dying over here. And my head is about to explode!

Re: Almost 3 but hitting the terrible 2's now??

I think you are doing the right thing by not paying attention to him. If you give him a lot of attention, then why shouldn't he stop shrieking?

You could give him a couple choices (things that you think are probably the issue). Do you want juice? Do you want a snack? and if he doesn't answer or keeps shrieking, then walk away and tell him you will help him when he can ask--this is assuming he can ask, or gesture to show you what he wants, and it sounds as if he can.

DS did the classic terrible 2s--he has meltdowns still, but they are not nearly as long or as violent. He used to throw, hit, etc., and I wound up putting him in his room alone a couple times. Which he hated, and I felt bad leaving him alone, but at the same time, I was getting beat up if I paid attention to him, so it wasn't a good thing.

At any rate, I think you have the right idea by not paying attention to him. Does he have a SEIT? You might want to mention these to her/him and see what the recommendation is--also good to be consistent at home, school, etc.

Oh, and you probably know this, but I think the most important thing is to not get too frazzled yourself. Easier said than done when you are exhausted at the end of the day, and a little guy his screaming his head off. I feel like these episodes always passed faster when DH and I kept our cool and didn't pay much attention to them.

Good luck--it does pass. He's probably becoming more aware as you said, and more independent.

Message edited 5/20/2011 9:36:00 AM.

Re: Almost 3 but hitting the terrible 2's now??

Have you tried time outs? They might work if you are consistent and he knows he is getting them for the shreiking.

I also think leaving the room is good, because it allows you to remove yourself from the situation to stay calm and doesn't give him attention that might reinforce the behavior.

Re: Almost 3 but hitting the terrible 2's now??

I is most likely a phase. As long as you do your best not to give in when things don't go his way, he will likely learn that screaming does not get him what he wants.
If you give in he may learn that screaming is an effective way to get what he wants.

Re: Almost 3 but hitting the terrible 2's now??

Re: Almost 3 but hitting the terrible 2's now??

You are responding in completely the right way. No attention for tantrum behavior. Leaving the room is perfect. To teach him how to get your attention, you can model to him how to get the things he wants in an appropriate way. Then when he does it the "right way", heap on the praise and attention.

For example : "If you want XYZ, ask me nicely." YOu might have to give him the exact words you want him to use. Then if he does , "WONDERFUL!!! I LOVE how you asked me so nicely!"
ALong these lines.....

You have to be consistent though. If you give in to the tantrums, boom, he learns if I scream I get what I want. And be strong. Dont give in if he screams louder. THen he learns I dont get what I want if I scream a little, but I get what I want if I scream a LOT!

Message edited 5/22/2011 5:07:15 PM.